Marriage before a deployment...good or bad idea?

Question

All answers welcome.

Answer 1

Marriage before deployment is just like marriage any other time, if you love each other and you know that you are 100% committed to each other then go for it, if there is any doubt that you won't make it then wait until the deployment is over and figure it out

Answer 2

Totally depends on your circumstances.

If you were planning on getting married anyway, before you found out you were getting deployed, then seriously consider going ahead with it.  

If this is a new love that you're afraid you'll lose while you're deployed, then I'd wait.  If the new love is real, it will be there when you get back.

Realistically, a lot of relationships struggle to survive deployment, especially relationships that are fairly new.  While your spouse would be entitled to benefits, that spouse is also entitled to spend your hard fought money.  

It's sad to say, but there are "opportunists," out there who actually seek out soldiers who will be deployed.  The marriage provides them with financial benefits without the obligations of a living-together marriage.  If the soldier meets their maker during deployment, the spouse makes out pretty well financially.  If the soldier comes home, they get dumped so their spouse can move on to another relationship.  

So if the relationship is pretty new, really think about it.... has the potential spouse been married before?...to another soldier?...are they really pushing for the marriage? how long have you known the person?  what does your gut tell you? what do your family and friends think?

That said, I know that there are marriages that make it.  I'm not trying to say all fit into those scenarios... but I have several military ties and I've seen a lot of soldiers (mostly men) wind up on the down-side of marriage.... and for the record, if it doesn't work, you actually can lose a lot.

Answer 3

Plus:  Your spouse gets benefits, base housing and you get extra pay.  She also gets SGLI if you don't make it back.

Minus:  You get back and you realize you can't stand each other now that the romance and danger is gone.

I got married before a deployment and halfway through my tour my wife left me for another man.  What made it worse was it was a married guy in the Air Force!  I wouldn't have felt so bad if it was an Army guy like me but...Air Force?!

Answer 4

Id say bad idea... Think of how long you have known that person, have you two lived together, and do you have any expecting or current children. If the answer to the above is not very long,and no... Well then thats your answer.

But like all things its up to you... Its what your heart tells you. But if you have ANY DOUBTS (which obviously you do, because you asked the question)... I would take heed to you instinct and go with that!

Answer 5

It depends on the strength of your relationship.  If you've known each other for a while, and are completely 100% confident your relationship is for real, then it's a good thing to do. I know 2 people in my wardroom that have gotten married in the past 2 months or so.  Their spouses get SGLI, dependent IDs, medical/dental, and a little more money to help with the rent (BAH w/ dependents).

On the other hand, if you wouldn't get married right now if you weren't deploying, then wait.  Or, if your significant other doesn't really understand the military deployment and its relationship challenges, it might be a good reason to wait.  Keep your options open in case one of you has trouble with being separated for such a long time and in an often-stressful situation like deployment.

There's no easy answer. Wish I could be of more help, but in the end it's a judgment call.

Answer 6

i wouldnt, unless ive known the person a real long time.

Answer 7

DUDE *** what everybody else says.... if you love that person then h**l YEAH... not only will it make the bond between you stronger but youll recieve extra money, housing allowances and your wife will have medical and dental benefits while your gone... if you dont love her why spoil her with the extra **** you know? if she is worth it then i say marry her and make her understand shes the one for you and your the one for her before you leave.... this will show your not just leaving and hoping shell be around when u get back.... if it doesnt work out take it as a lesson learned instead of a loss.... you wont lose half of everything like a civilian because half of everything isnt really to much of anything you know that.... youll still have your dignity and your military career ahead of you including your brothers around you who will always be there.... do whats right not whats best