Marriage ended. Feel exhausted. not eating. still iving in same House. Advice?

Question

I am soo tired. I can barely keep my eyes open. My husband is openly seeing another woman whilst we are living together. He wont move out and I have nowhere else to go as all my freinds have young babies.

The house will be going on the market 2morow but could take a year to sell.

I am trying to keep out the house as much as possible by getting a 2nd job, my own car (as I relied on him for lifts due to where we live). Its very difficult and I am feeling VERY uncomfrtable.

What can I do to ease this? the house could be on the market for a year!!!

Any words of advice?

Answer 1

Well, the house could be on the market for way more then a year.

Why would he move out?  Quite honestly if you can't even afford car payments on your own, i highly doubt you have paid much towards the house and or could afford the mortgage payments if he did.

Get the second job, make some new friends.  Heck the place my wife works at is nothing but a bunch of females, they all hired in at the same time.  Two of the girls that went through training with her had just got dumped during the month long training process, so they got together and became room mates.  

There are always options, it sounds like your on the right track, priority might be to move within walking distance of where you work, that way saving up for a car wouldn't be necessary.

Answer 2

Could you rent out the house until it sells and both live in smaller rented properties until then?

Answer 3

rent an apartment. no other options.  

Answer 4

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Answer 5

GET OUT if you are not living there why is it up to you to pay the morgage....

Answer 6

Wow, what an incredibly stressful situation you must be in.

I can't imagine the pain you must feel every time you see both him and her.  And it's impossible to start healing or move on until you are clear of the entire situation.

You are right the best thing to do is to get out of the house, and stay with friends or family and start to grieve for your failed marriage.  And unless you are willing to put your house well below market value (which is painfully low as it is) you are not likely to move it quickly.

You need a major distraction in your life to keep you occupied, Maybe get a second part time job, keeping you out of the house even more and giving you some money to save up for when you are on your own.

Or an art class, second language or some type of educational class.  At least with that you can study when you aren't in the class and it gives you something to focus on.  If you've had something you've always wanted to learn now is a good time to throw yourself into it.

That or quit your job and move back home, if this is an option.  It may not be desirable to do this, but you also need to consider the toll on your health to live like you are.

Answer 7

Call a lawyer, file for a divorce and find out what your rights are.

Be strong ! The house may sell quicker then you think.  

Getting a second job is a good idea.  Save as much money as you can.  

Avoid talking to him or being around him as much as possible.  And if they should break up before the house is sold , do not take him back.  He will only do it again.  

I know because my husband did the same thing to me after 18 years of marriage.  I divorced him, had him put out of the house, worked 2 jobs  6 days a week for 4 years and raised our 2 children by myself.  I would do it all over again.

If I can do it so can you.  And a year after the divorce was final I met a great guy(wasn't looking) . I dated him for 7 years and then married him.  We just celebrated 22 years this May.

So hang in there !    It will get better. You have already taken the first step and that's the hardest.  Call the lawyer today.  End it.  You deserve better.  

Answer 8

It sounds like you need a complete change.  Going through a divorce while you have to live and co-exist in the same house can be exhausting in itself.  

Do you have any family nearby (or even far away) that you would consider rooming with?  Perhaps you can offer to do some household chores instead of paying rent to help you get back on your feet.  You are exhausted because of the amount of energy it takes to deal with this person on a daily basis.  It is not healthy for you to be there, and I think you know that.  I'm not sure what you do for work, but consider relocating with a relative or a friend that lives further away and making a fresh start.