Marriage falling apart turning abusive Please give suggestion!?

Question

I don't belive divorce is the answer for all problems but I am confused. My husband and I have been fighting alot the last 2 years. He lets his family walk all over me. Our son (2 almost 3) doesnt want to call his parents grandma and grandpa and If he doesnt want to thats fine with me they are not grandparents anyways. You should not force anyone to call someone somthing. They are trying to force him into it and he lets them do it. I have said something numerous of times and they disrespect me. I asked my husband to stop picking a guy up for work This guy had a car but was never on time so he would pick him up. My husband agreed to stop about 2 months ago I found out he was doing it behind my back. I felt like this guy was a bad influence he was cheating on his wife. The last two years my husband has treated me with disresept tells me to shut up tells me I dont help support the family and he does all. ( I stay at home with the kids Teach play with them, Keep the house up, take care of bills, cook all meals, run all errands. I told him I would put kid in a center and work outside the house as I did before kids)He said no but continue to put me down, cant talk about things that are bothering me without getting yelled at saying im nagging. Satarday it started getting physical He was in a poor mmod I was suppose to go with my sister to look at wedding stuff for her but I ended up not going cause didnt want to leave one of the kids with him cause he was cranky. I was mad and said any time I want to do something I dont get to ITs all your fault. HE got up in my face and started yelling hes 6'3 im 5'4 he had his hands on my shoulders so I pushed him away with some force he grabbed me and me head almost went through the kitchen window and bruised my face up it took 3 days for the swelling to go down. I took the kids to my moms and still here. Im going to councling. He is begging me to come home Im scared my son saw him do this to me and was screaming dont hurt my mommy daddy. Do you think it is possible for him to change. If I would to leave my kids would have to go without me I DONT WANT THAT I love my husband and I know that he can be a sweet guy I want that guy back Please give me any suggestions

Answer 1

My heart cries for you!

Lady...you need to make a move away from that relationship BEFORE you're carried out of it on a stretcher...or, in a hearse!

Answer 2

This sounds serious and scary.  He could change, he could go back but more than likely it will escalate. I would at least temporarily move out with your son.  Give him time to realize what he has done and that it is not okay. If you can't do it for yourself think of your son.  Maybe he wont hurt your son but even watching that can be very harmful to a boy so young.  You don't want him thinking that abuse is okay.  I don't believe in divorce either with the EXCEPTION of it being seriously harmful to you or you children; which this is! Please seriously consider whether he will change.  What would you tell your sister to do if she told you this story? I hope everything calms down and works out. God Bless.

Answer 3

do what you think is best , but here is what I would do

Tell your hubby that you are going to counceling as you mentioned here & tell him that if he wants this marriage to work he needs to change his ways & that the 1st step is for him to get help & go to counceling too & tell him that you will not come home to him until you

have proof that he's going to councling

best of luck & I hope things work out between the 2 of you :>)

Answer 4

If there's the first, then there's always the second. Life aint perfect. Never was nor will be. Brutality is a nono even if  you love the guy.  Love yourself first above others and this will radiate to the people around you.

Stay elsewhere. Protect yourself from misery and pain. Since when was brutality equated to love?