Marriage on the line?

Question

I want to do right by my wife and change my controlling ways. What would be the best approach? I haven't spoken to her sense it has happened (3 days ago). Should I write her a letter or see her in person? I'm afraid if I don't act soon enough she will never take me back.

Answer 1

I am with the others. write it all down.  

Answer 2

When I left my husband, I refused to see him and got furious when he came around.  Write her a letter so she can't interrupt. Then, get counseling so she can see you mean it.  

Answer 3

Writing to her is the only way to say what you want to say without being interrupted or changing what you wanted to say because of her expressions. Spill it in ink. Good luck and if you are controlling, maybe you should be listening instead of speaking or writing.

Answer 4

writing would be a good idea

Answer 5

Write her a letter. That way you will be able to get all of your feelings out without being nervous or anxious.

Answer 6

writing a letter is much easier but saying it in person is better.  Write it then read it to her in person, that should help alot.

Answer 7

Act, as in get into a counselor right now.  Get into anger management classes.  What have you done?

The cycle of abuse is: the build up, the incident, reconciliation, calm.

You are in reconciliation right now.  What guarantees can you give her that you'll stay in calm and not continue the cycle.  Abuse is all about control.  You need to want to change and work for that change.  you are an adult, you need to control your self, your anger, your actions.

Was this the first incident? Probably not.  How can you let her know that you won't do this again.  Once trust is broken, it takes a long to to rebuild it.

Answer 8

You should see her in person.  Let her know that you are fully aware of your control problems.  Counseling would be a good start and it would show her that you are truly sorry and really mean to do the right thing in trying to save your marriage.