Marriage over, what about custody?

Question

Three lovely children, precious and innocent. Father wants joint custody but also wants me and the kids to accept his "new love" He left me Sunday because he was "in love" with my brother's wife. Am I wrong to demand that for joint custody she would not have to be around? Is it legal to put such stipulations in divoce papers?

Answer 1

It makes me feel badly that this has happened.  Why can't you push for sole custody?  In sole custody he can have restricted visitation rights.  Of course he will have to pay child support, and that is probably what he definitely doesn't want.  If you have joint custody, you do not have much say so over who is around your children.   . Already his  situation is  loaded down with a lot of guilt.  Eventhough he is trying to convince himself that all is right, it is not right.  Truthfully speaking, I really don't think that relationship will last.  How can it?   --- Toni D.  

Answer 2

I don't know the laws of your state but usually, you can't dictate who your children's father socializes with and I don't believe it's common to add such a clause to a stipulation.  However, if the father agrees to it, you might be able to do it.  Check with a lawyer.

You should also attend counseling together to discuss what's in the best interest of the children.  It's never OK to just bring another person into their lives so soon and without having established a long-term relationship with someone.  The children need time to grieve over the loss of having their parents together.  Your husband needs to put his wants second to his children and make sure his primary concern during this heartbreaking time is their well-being.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, the court will not agree that you get to decide who he takes the children around.

Unless she is violent, a drug user, a convicted felon, or been convicted of child molestation...she is not a danger to the children.

It is not against the law to be a cheating, lying, deceitful wh*re, so the court will not tell him that she has to stay away from the kids.

You can have shared parenting/custody with the children being bounced back & forth 50/50.

Sorry that he did this to you and your brother.

Make the best of it, use the time that he has the kids to find a better significant other.

Find one that will be a good husband and a better father to your children.

Live well...even better than him!

Best wishes