Married-Divorced-All Female: Can any smart female answer this question? all men including me want to know?

Question

If you spend all your life loving the way you are. in other words you're pretty content with the type of person you are. that would obviously mean that if you found a female with your exact likeness, hobbies, fun times, and character, that you would be happy and excited. right?

WRONG!

why is it that opposites attract?

Opposites in my opinion would make your life a living h**l and hard to live with that person.

why in the world would a person get together with someone who is opposite your likes and character?

any smart or dumb or educated female can answer.

Answer 1

You learn to like those things your not used to.  It's more exciting to see someone who likes stuff you don't, it's like going into another world (not really) but it is different.

Answer 2

i'm going to use the shrek example about onions, lol.

people have many different facets. the more superficials ones about them (like the fact that they like the color blue) are the outer layers of the onion. peel layers off and you get to the real deal where the base character of the person is (like that they place family above all else or are very religious).

when you meet someone, whether or not the superficial things match don't matter. who cares if you both like spaghetti or if you both think football sucks? the deeper you peel, the more important it matters - that's where the real deal is and those things are more difficult to compromise - like how important it is that you have kids or how you'll raise them, how strong you are in the face of temptations (like infidelity or blowing money all the time) and how ambitious you are about your own goals in life (ever see a doctor living in a trailer park?).

opposites may attract on the surface, and that's okay. i want to learn something from my partner, be stimulated by something new in life. i don't want to date someone just like me, how boring. but when it comes to the deep base character of the individual, you'll find that no matter how different people may be otherwise, they'd better have similar ideas about the important things or it just doesn't work out.  

Answer 3

well, see its because they fulfill that what you lack. so if your boring you are gonna liek the exciting person beacuse shes your counterpart....

Answer 4

The attraction of opposites is the appeal of someone who is different from you.  

Perhaps for example, they are more brazen, while you are shy.  Initially the attraction is that while you fear approaching others, the object of your affection can walk right up to someone new and tell them what's on their mind.  

That can be very attractive when your biggest fear is to approach others!  You may feel safety in being by that person's side, making it easier for you to break the ice when the occasions arise.

However, after the initial attraction to that trait, the shy one can simply become annoyed, bored by or overwhelmed by the idea that their opposite cannot seem to ever "hold back".  Sometimes they may seem too brazen perhaps to the point of embarrassing at times.

In other words, the very same thing that caused the attraction in the first place eventually can and usually does become the object of division.

Answer 5

If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.  

Answer 6

This doesn't just apply to females, opposites can attract with guys, too. But to answer your question, it's because you're one way and that person's another way, and you both have strengths and weaknesses, good parts and bad parts to your personality, etc. So basically opposites work well together because the fill in whatever parts you're missing and you fill in theirs, it's kind of like 2 pieces of a puzzle - they don't look anything alike but they fit each other perfectly, without having to force it.

The problem with people who are the same is just that - just because you like who you are doesn't mean that you would want to meet yourself if you were another person. For example: you have 2 people who are great leaders, and part of being a great leader is always wanting to take the lead in group projects, or talk the most in a conversation, etc. But if 2 people like that are constantly trying to be the leader, they'll eventually have to start fighting for the position even in casual situations, which leads to one of them winning the attention or whatever they're fighting about, which leads to anger on one side, which usually leads to an argument between the two. That's why opposites are better for each other - there's a reason people say, "you're my other half" instead of "you're like me but a different person".

Answer 7

That is a good question. Some people like adversity and whether it is unconscious or not they seek out the opposite of them selves to act out the adversarial relationship.

Answer 8

Because it is intriguing and is never boring...You both share the experiences of being different from one another.  

Answer 9

I totally agree with you! Me & my husband have nothing in common- he plays video games for hours at a time & it drives me crazy! He can spend all day with his friends doing nothing-just hanging out that drives me crazy-I hate when people are at my house- he likes to stay up all night & sleep all day & I don't- I like to sleep at night & get things done during the day but when you love each other thats all that matters! You learn to deal with each others "hobbies"-I've had 8 years of video games & I should be able to tell you what games they were but I can't b/c I don't care! We do our own thing & then spend time together! If you what it to work you have to work at it!    

Answer 10

It may be true for most people that opposites attract but that doesn't mean the relationship is going to last.  In my opinion, men and women alike should find out who THEY want to be before they ever get into a relationship that leads into marriage or babies.  You would naturally find people with the same interests and yes, the relationship would be way better than when one person is always trying to change the other to their liking.  If only we all thought this way when it matters...there would be more happy marriages and fewer divorces that leave messed up kids in the wake.

Answer 11

Well, I would say that opposites attract because people are naturally wanting to find what they lack within them selves.

An outgoing/party person might be attracted to a book worm.

They see a quality or many characteristics that they want to see in themselves so by being married or dating the opposite - they feel as though they have gained that quality too

Answer 12

Drama, we all crave it in some way shape or form.  If you spend time with someone just like you, it would only be a short time before you would be stark raving mad.  We all need stimulation and we get that from people that are not like us.  

Answer 13

a person like you would be boring no spice you would want to do the same thing time after time no variety then you would get board and look for something different  no two people can live in harmony everyday lol you got to  have something to argue about something to disagree on so you can make it work remember nothings perfect  

Answer 14

Because you don't want to be with you...you want to be with someone else..that can teach you new things and show you a different perspective. It's exciting. We don't fall in love with ourselves...we need more than what we already have outside of ourselves. Do you want a prototype of yourself? That would be kinda boring right?  

Answer 15

I think the important thing is to find someone who shares your moral and character values. Who also has some of the same interests as you do. Opposites do attract, but what I've found out for myself is that most of the time if the differences are to much the relationship doesn't work. I hope this helps you.  

Answer 16

It's ying & yang...its chemistry, it's the laws of physics and love!

A challenge is much more exciting!

Opposites seem to have a little more fire in their relationships and it doesn't have to be dis functional. Keep an open mind on differences & dislikes, accept them, respect them or move on and have a relationship with your clone! Boring!  

Answer 17

For some reason, it's interesting to learn how someone you love or interested in thinks or their outlook on things. you learn different perspectives and learn to respect them and still in all you don't have to change your thoughts or outlooks. It's just different. and when you love someone opposite you you tend to think it's cute.

Answer 18

Because if you date or whatever with someone like you most of the time it won't work. Because you are to much alike that you bug each other. But when you guys have different interest it gives you more to talk about new things to try and all that good stuff. Thats my opinion.

Answer 19

opposites attract ... because it keeps things mysterious, interesting, and unpredictable. Also you can compliment each other and build each other up when one is stronger in another area then the other.

If you dated or married someone like yourself it would be boring .

I think its cool if your opposites in lots of areas but not in values because that will ruin a relationship.

now give me the 10 pts.

btw i married my complete opposite and he drives me crazyyyyyyy... but i love him to death, he keeps me on my toes and when it comes to love we think the same.

Answer 20

The thing is when you are with someone who is just like you its boring. You already know how there going to react and a lot of times what they think about things. But with someone who is different than you you are exploring a whole new world something different than what you know.

Also when you are with someone different than you are you each have strengths and weaknesses that compliment each other. For example if you are outgoing and end up with a shy and quite person, you help them to be more outgoing and meet more people and they will help with listening and calming down. The thing is the opposite of you has something that you don't have but by having someone in your life different than you, you know have what  you didn't have.

Answer 21

"any smart or dumb or educated female can answer."

You seem rather condescending in your tone.  Regardless, since you asked, here's my take on it: opposites attract because sameness is not as exciting and intriguing as the unknown.  Opposites represent a challenge, and there are alot of people who find that exhilarating (until later when it also becomes exasperating.)

I'll leave it to you to guess whether I am smart, dumb, or educated.  It really doesn't matter, I already have that answer, too.  ;)

Answer 22

it is because people live & love under false impressions of what a relationship should be; they're always looking for someone who needs them or completes them somehow.

BUNK!!  i've done that too many times & i've finally realized that i don't want a man who CAN'T live without me.  i want a man that CAN live without me but CHOOSES to live with me.

we are not blending into one complete person...we are individuals that respect each other & work together in a partnership.  no one is in front of or behind the other...equals sharing a life.  

Answer 23

It is true. I dated someone like me and it was terrible! It did not work at all. You don't want to be with someone just like you becuase that would not bring anything new to your life. Opposites can balance each other out. For example if a child has a really strict mom and a really laid back dad it would be a good balance. The child would learn about both and the parents would try to keep each other from going too far. Just remember you should love the woman how she is and she should love you how you are. You can teach each other things without trying to change each other.

Answer 24

I've always felt you should have enough in common to know you're compatible and enough opposites to keep life interesting.  After all, I don't want to marry a clone of myself!

Answer 25

When you find someone who is exactly like you, there is nowhere that relationship is going to go. You know everything about each other because in a sense that person is you except she is a female.

Finding someone who is the total opposite its exciting. Every day is a new day and getting to know her you find that what makes her is the person you love her for. Getting to know her will last a lifetime. But a lifetime of getting to know her will make you love her during those times

Answer 26

For starters, I'm classified under the highly intelligent category.

Opposites attract because if we were identical than what fun would that be right?! You don't need to be exactly alike to get along though, it really depends on your temper not personality.

Answer 27

Ugh, I could never live with someone who was my exact likeness. Are you crazy? I would never think that would work!

You need to be compatible granted, but that doesnt mean being the same! Whats important is to have the same morals and communication. (Plus your personal attraction). However my husband and I are different people for sure!

Any smart, dumb or educated female can answer.

Well that does not sound like you even have an appreciation for women. Maybe thats your problem right there. Each women is unique and beautiful in a special way. You need to find that in them before you dicided your incompatible. The perfect women doesnt have to be just like you!