Married and can't stop thinking about what if...?

Question

Found out after I was married that someone I had been crushing on for years had been crushing on me too. I didn't realize it at the time we were hanging out, I thought I was just because we had been friends so long and he wanted someone to talk to after his divorce. Now 7 years later, I find out that he was there because he liked me and no one told me b/c they thought I knew (I guess I didn't think that he could like me like that), and every time I see him it brings up feelings that I don't know how to handle. The what-ifs haunt on the daily. I love my hubby, but not sure about in love, does that make sense? Any advice? I am seriously struggling with my emotions.

Answer 1

*Never* have an affair with someone that you know very well, especially if they live in the same town you do and/or know where you live.

These type of affairs almost always end badly. If you really want to be with this person, then leave your husband.

Just rememeber, if you do leave your husband for this other person, the grass is rarely greener on the other side once you get what you desire.

Answer 2

You made your decision. You married a sweet guy. Now get over your high school attitude and don`t break your man`s heart.

Answer 3

You married your husband and it would be unfair to leave him based on a crush. I think you need to get it out of your system and put effort and love into the marriage you have now. It didn't happen then with this guy as it was not meant to be. Take what was meant and cherish it.Life is too short to worry about what-if's!!!

Answer 4

That was years ago. You 2 are not the same people anymore. So what if you had got together then? maybe it would of last a couple of months or less. There is a lot of 'what if' in ones life but you can't struggle too much over them. Today life is about your current husband....yes I think when we have sudden attraction toward someone else then our mate it is because something is missing in our relationship. You should look into that first. This man from the past...if he didn't exist...would you still question your feelings for your husband. Ask yourself the right questions.  

Answer 5

You are married, It is time to leave high school crushes and "what- ifs" in the past. That is what you do when you decide to get married. You don't marry someone just until someone better comes along that catches your eye more. That is what dating is for.

Answer 6

if you are two  totally different people then why did you marry him,am sure you are only feeling this way because your crush reappeared, please get over this crush, we've all had one crush or another which means nothing. don't spoil something good because of a crush.

Answer 7

You are normal. It takes a strong person to resist temptation. So many people these days take their marriage vows far too lightly.

Temptation is the 'forbidden fruit.' And it seems to be human nature to want what we can't have.

Realize that fantasizing about other men can be a safe and healthy way to explore your lustful feelings without cheating. It's normal !!!

Like I said in another post; you can look but not touch