Married but still seeing ex-bf.....?

Question

I have been married for over 10 years but my hubby is an emotionally distant person. My ex got in touch every year when it's my b'day and I used to ignore his birthday but in the past two years I wrote back with a birthday wish as a matter of courtesy.

We saw each other two months ago just to catch up and my hubby didn't know about that. I admit that my ex still has a special place in my heart but I know it's wrong to move further. However, my hubby never really makes much effort to keep up the relationship and expresses his love to me. And I felt that my emotional needs seemed to have been met by my ex.

The birthday wish he sent me is more like somebody sending it to his loved one, and the one sent by my husband is more like a special friend. That always makes me sad.

I'm not saying I'm leaving my husband but I'm worried that I'll put myself in a difficult situation. Our relationship has never been good anyway.

what would you do if you were me??

Answer 1

The only thing on this Earth that drives us is emotions.  If you are married to a man who does not express emotion, then it is only reasonable to expect that you will be sad and finding that emotional support on someone else.  I would have prefered that it would be with a female friend, but in your case your ex came first.

If you love your husband, I mean, if you truly love your husband, just let him know that his lack of support is driving you to some place you don't want to be.  You say that your marriage was never good anyway, so I think it may be time for you to sit down and re-thing your whole relationship.

I wish you all the luck!

Answer 2

its easy to see all the good in the other guy, while seeing all the bad with your hubby,don't think your being fair to your hubby,and how do u know this relationship with the ex will work out in your favor.it always seems to be about unmet expectations, and it always seems the other person is stroking your ego and making u feel special,just long enough to lure u away from your marriage, when he gets u it won't be any different,u will have expectations with him too, and the same faults u find with your hubby,u will find with this new man.

Answer 3

leave...why hurt him.  your a pig that is already going behind his back.  maybe you are not keeping up with his needs. your too busy

Answer 4

Why did you marry your husband? Try to re capture, if it's good, the reason you married him. Let the ex boyfriend go all together. Work on your marriage. If it doesn't work then pursue it.

Answer 5

I would ditch the ex and I would focus on my marriage.

See if your husband is willing to work on it or find out what his issues are. If you give it a good shot at repairing it and it doesn't work out then you make a decision to move on. Then, you can revisit the past (even though I always say NEVER to go there again) or you can find someone completely new. :)

Answer 6

tell your husband the truth!! u met your ex as friends just for a catch up

if my partner met his ex, id hit the roof

Answer 7

Well I would be honest with your hubby first off and then go from there.

Answer 8

"Our relationship has never been good anyway" - why did you marry him in the first place then?   Treat others as you would like to be treated!

Answer 9

I would say, turn the tables, if your husband did the same thing, would you be okay with it? Secondly, you should speak with your husband about him being emotionally distant so he can work on himself and try to be there for your more emotionally...   If your husband was emotionally close at one point, it can get to that point again. If he refuses, then you might want to make other arrangements.  

Answer 10

you are indeed your husbands special friend!!.and one of your exs fantasy's so whats your problem?..

Answer 11

Go for a fling. Hubby sounds boring anyway.

Answer 12

Say it enough times and you're believe,just talk to your husband.

Answer 13

OMG i am you!!!! what the h**l do we do?????? i dont know either:(

Answer 14

Leave him if you are not happy.

Answer 15

read a book titled "Tough Talk To A Stubborn Spouse"

you can find this book online for less than $10

Don't let the title deter you, it will answer alot of the questions you have about your current relationship