Married couples! Can you handle long distance relationships, of husband or wife working at far away jobs??

Question

Thanks everyone!

Answer 1

i could, that depends on the people and their relationship, if they  are happily married with no problems and have trust, then it can work, if not, its just asking for trouble.

Answer 2

Yes, it is possible, but it is hard and it does take work.  My wife and I have worked at a distance often over 15 years of marriage.  We do things like talk once if not two or three times a day.  

At least as important, if not more so, than the amount you talk is to spend some time looking at what are the types of conversations you need to have to stay connected.  The hardest thing for me (the man) has been to talk about things that are bothering me, particularly if things are bothering me in the relationship.  It has always looked to me like bringing things that that up while apart was not a good thing. I would then end up suppressed for days.  I have had to work at talking when I don't want to.  That has allowed for us to remain intimate, even if not physically.

Another important aspect is setting things up for when we see each other next.  Often one of us would come home and there would be a distance between us.  If it was short visit, we might get in an argument that would keep the distance there for the entire trip.  We both had to work at getting up to date and fully in communication before we saw each other as well as getting work handled so we weren't distracted and could fully be with one another.

The other logistical aspect is - how long can you tolerate to be apart without the physical contact.

Again, it does take a lot of work, but it can also lead to a great relationship - there is much less of the typical taking each other for granted.

Answer 3

If it is long distance because one person does not want to go to be with that person then there is more to the problems then a long distant relationship.  A married couple should live together.

Now if one is at a place where the spouse cannot go and I mean like a war zone, then it should only be for a year or so and if the couple loves each other then the marriage will work like mine does

Answer 4

My BFF has lived apart from her husband the majority of 12 yrs.  They are both so lonely, yet they do nothing to shorten the distance between them.  Personally, I don't think I would want to live like that.  

Answer 5

Not a chance marriage is about being together..not apart for any reason long term

Answer 6

if it was a permanent long distance job, i dont thnk it would work, if it was id say soemone should move clsoer. but my husband is in the military, so sometimes he has to go across country to a couple week class and h**l get deployed. we made it through his basic and AIT we were at opposite ends of the country. but we love each other and made it work.  

Answer 7

its funny I'm married and considering doing this with my husband we are purchasing a home in PA and he works in NJ i told him he can stay with his mom monday thru friday and can come home on the weekends until he can get the transfer i have four kids they'll keep me busy i don't think ill have time to think about being lonely  

Answer 8

It's easier if you know it's temporary and there's a definite end in sight. My husband is in medical school, so sometimes he has to be away for a month or two at a time for rotations. It's difficult, but I know it's not permanent, so that makes it easier. I would think that doing it indefinitely with no end in sight would be next to impossible, and definitely not very good for the marriage.

Answer 9

My friend tried doing that and it just doesn't work.

Married people need to live together for things to really work out.

Answer 10

no i can't. my husband was offered a job working the night shift and he turned it down because we can't even handle working opposite shifts but living in the same house. there's no way we could handle long distances from each other.  

Answer 11

It depends on your back ground, the generation you where raise in and your commitment to each other. Most can not. It takes a spacial person to turn away from temptations in lonely moments and to have trust that the other will do the same. You really have to know the person you're with for things to remain the same while separated.

Answer 12

Absolutely not.  I would never be able to handle my husband sleeping apart from me.  I love him way too much to be separate from him.  We have resolved that unless circumstances are dire, we will spend every single night for the rest of our lives sleeping together. :)

I'd never be able to be with anyone in the military or someone who had to travel for work.  Unfortunately that's just not something I could handle -- but at least I know I couldn't handle it and never set up false expectations!

Answer 13

I wouldn't be married long.

Answer 14

It takes a special breed of person to manage these types of relationships. Try to move closer , in the end, loneliness will get the better of you.

Answer 15

I can't. That's why I didn't marry someone who has a long distance away from me. I have NEEDS to often to have a long distance relationship.