Married guy at the office?!?

Question

This new guy that started working at my office (transfer from a different officer) and hes the same background as me etc.

from day 1 that we met, we hit it off, we joke around, he awlays calls me into his office to talk, stays past his hours if he knows that im working late ...

or stops working and comes out with me if i finish early

hes talking to others in the office to secure me a permanent position!

and he asked me out for a coffe and we talked for like 2 hrs ... and joked around etc..

problem? hes Married ... and has a daughter ... and hes 15 years older than me ...

i like him (hes so funny/down to earth and great company) and i can TELL he does too buh this feels so wrong ... even tho we're not doing anything wrong, but he invited me up to chill with him and his friends at his cottage ... (ofc im NOT gonna go)

I just dont know why he's so into me (like he sits real close, tells me i look like a model, stares right into my eyes, asks me about my day etc.)

i do NOT know how to handle this situation at ALL...

plz help??!

is this wrong? what could happen? should i be concerned?

Answer 1

I don't think you'll find being the other woman is very rewarding. I think you know the moral answers to these questions. Shucks he is married, but he is. I am sure you are worth more than he will be able to offer you as a married man. Have some self respect and find an available man!!!  

Answer 2

You are soooo playing with fire!  A relationship like this can mess you up both emotionally and professionally.  I mean, come on!  What do you think the other professionals in the office think of this?  It completely sends out the wrong message.  Slow down and back off.  

Answer 3

I think he only wants one thing and we all know what that is.

Answer 4

Do you really need us to answer this question for you?  If it feels wrong, it is.

Answer 5

Sounds to me like he's looking for a mistress.  As soon as you found out he was married that should have sent up a big flashing red flag in your mind.  Unless you're looking to be the "other woman" you need to make it clear that you're not interested.  If you think it feels wrong now, imagine how you'll feel if something DOES happen.

Answer 6

Should jus have an affair with him.

Just keep it discreet with no strings

Answer 7

Be very careful and if I were you I would not go to that cottage. He wants you and I mean he wants to get down your pants. You will only end up getting hurt in the end. Watch and see how he treats other women that are attractive and think about how many women he has come on to and probably slept with. Do you really want to be his next victim. And please don't think that your anything special your just another easy woman to him.

Oh and he is married so stay the f**k away from him and you are doing something wrong, you are not innocent when you flirt with a married man.

Answer 8

Sure, if you want to be called a "homewrecker." Because that's what you seem to be. Don't worry, one day you will be married and your husband will do the same thing. Get a clue.

Answer 9

Yes, you should be concerned.  So much so that you're going to be needing a new job soon or file sexual harassment charges.  They're difficult to prove.  Set limits.  You might enjoy his company but I'm sure his wife would appreciate your staying away from him

Answer 10

Stay far far far away! He's MARRIED! Even if he keeps persuing you it's still not right. You need to let him know that your friendship needs to stay in the office and not proceed past a professional relationship. You are playing with fire. Think of his wife and his daughter. If something were to happen between the 2 of you their world would come crashing down. This is coming from a married women with kids. I would be devastated if I knew my husband was "making friends" with a girl at work like that. So please just leave him alone!  

Answer 11

If you really want to go on this trip bring a trusted male friend with you and sleep next to him.  This new guy wants to have an affair with you or he wants to share you with his friends, either way something bad could happen with undesirable effects.  No your not really doing anything wrong but you could be, and that's up to you on what to do about it.  I just know I wouldn't be alone with a man I barely knew at a cottage without some type of backup around me.

Answer 12

If it `feels wrong' then it probably is. He may be going through a time in life when being around younger women makes him feel younger and that `he still has it'. When there's a wife & kids involved, remember

you risk hurting a lot of people. When in dought, go with your gut feeling.

Answer 13

Keep it friendly and Professional ,, Nuf said

Answer 14

Go for it, and office romance is hot!!!!!  I miss the corporate days. The Christmas parties were great!!!

Answer 15

Well he's married and if you think that this is leading to something else then stop hanging around him so much.It's okay to talk to him but to flirt with him and all of that isn't too good.If he's doing more than just complimenting you then that's worse.He's married and he should just as well respect his marriage.He has a kid too.You don't want to be the cause of a broke up marriage.I advise you to leave him alone.You can be friends with him though,just not close friends.It seems that he really likes you and if he does then you need to confront him about this and tell him that you aren't interested.You can simply tell him that he's a nice guy but he's married and has a child and you respect that,so you're not interested,you just want to be friends.You don't have to give him that answer but you can give him an answer of something along the lines of it.To me,you can be friends with him but not really close friends if you get what I mean.Don't call him and email him and date him and go out with him and have a conversation with him 24/7.Just be friends,if he's as good of a guy as you say he is,he'll respect that and he'll respect you too.You can choose to do this or do your own method,which ever one works for you.I don't want to make things worse so do what makes you comfortable and works.I hope that I helped you with this in some way or another or gave you some helpful tips so GOD BLESS you!