Married guy at work!?

Question

i met this married guy as he got transferred to my office

hes super cool, we joke around, talk have fun etc

so today, he told me hes coming to pick me up for a lunch date (from my other job) and took me out etc - asked me to come out to his cottage

and then said he wants me to spend my bday with him, he'll take me to so-n-soooo place n we can do whatever i want

n then i said no, so he said ok come to my cottage for the weekend, we can have ur bday party there etc

n then he calls me constantly at work, n im like hi ? how did u call? n hes like oh i ***** stop thinkin about u etc

hes married and he its obvs that hes obsessed with me (he says/does way more things than i can possibly mention here)

and i dont know what to do! he keeps asking me if i have something to say to him (i.e. hinting that i shud say i like u etc)

hes so obsessed what should i do??!

serious help plz

i cant really avoid him since we work together ... and I do talk to him since hes got a really good/addictive personality - like hes a great person to hang out /talk to ...

buh his behaviour is getting more and more obsessive ... and SO FAST!

Answer 1

sounds pretty creepy...get one of those little recorders and get some evidence...tell your boss that you are being harassed by this guy and let the guy's wife know what he's doing.

"come to my cottage"  LOL

Answer 2

I guess you are "blessed" with a stalker, my dear.

Call me crazy, but don't you have a local police department in your neck of the woods?

If so, I would go to the same for help and pronto.

Answer 3

you need to tell him how you feel,so he will know where u stand

Answer 4

tell your boss, and maybe think of getting a restraining order if he still persists, just be careful you don't really know what kind of nut he could be!

Jenxx

Answer 5

Guys love the chase it makes them more intersted & will do so until you give in its because he noticed that you enjoy is conversations when hes around, you know that he's married & he knows you have a chance to have s*x w/you since you showed him that you're giving him attention & going out to together to lunch. Stop being so nice to that dog! Stop all contacts with this guy unless its strictly business other than that ask him to leave you alone & don't call, if he doesn't then please tell your supervisor, hr/personnel, that he's acting in an inappropriate way, tell his wife.

Answer 6

i would tell your boss about it, be careful about the wife because while she does deserve to know, he sounds a bit um off his rocker... who knows what he might do. A restraining order is good yeah but in the end it is just a piece of paper sadly. But the cops should know if he doesnt stop... if i were you i'd tell my boss and others i work with. Also, i would have some male friends look out for me....

good luck!

Answer 7

You need to tell him your not interested and stay away from him.  Don't humiliate him in front of everyone though, just talk to him about it when he calls you next time.  But every time you talk to him, look at him, say hi to him, etc, he's getting the wrong idea, although it seems innocent enough, that your into him and playing hard to get.  It encourages his behavior.  You will never be able to be just friends with this man.

Be careful he doesn't get nasty and start spreading false rumours about you because he didn't get his way.  It's not uncommon.

Answer 8

get a hold of his wife and clue her in...that'll put a stop to it.  

Answer 9

You should tell him that although you enjoy his friendship, you do not date married men.

Answer 10

Call his wife and tell her about her husbands inappropriate behavior.

She will take care of this situation.

Answer 11

welllll if I was u i would tell the wife

Answer 12

My guess is that you are sending mixed messages. You like talking to him and I bet you enjoy the attention even though you know its inappropriate. This is pretty easy. You tell him flat out, "I enjoyed talking to you but you are making me feel very uncomfortable. You are a married man and I'm not the slightest bit interested in getting involved in that drama. I also think better of myself than to do that to some other poor woman. If we see each other at work that's fine but other than that, I do not want to go anywhere with you, I do not want to talk on the phone with you and I do not have anything else to say about this." If it continues you need to talk to his boss or his wife whichever seems the best option given the situation. But you need to stop all flirting and leading him on. Make it VERY clear. You are NOT interested.  

Answer 13

He has a wife and the last time I answered your other question that was similar to this,he even had a kid.Tell him that you just want to be friends with him.Tell him that he is a nice guy and all but you respect that he is married and you don't want to mess that up or something along those lines.I doubt that his wife knows about this.It's very obvious that he wants to be more than friends with you and just tel him that you are not interested because maybe you are leading him on.Unless you're throwing a birthday party,he shouldn't be spending your nirthday with you,he should be spending that day with his wife.I know it would be the friendly thing to do but he's not obligated to you,he's obligated to his wife and kid.It might hurt his feelings but he needs to know that you just want to be his friend,nothing more.You keep beating around the bush when you should just say it straight out.I'm just being honest.His actions are leading me to the conclusion that he wants more than just a lunch date.He needs to know that you don't want him personally.Just tell him that you just want to be friends and if he can't take that and says that he doesn't want to even be friends,then obviously,he wasn't a friend from the beginning.Don't make his wife angry.Don't hurt a marriage.I can see that you aren't trying to but you are leading him on.He needs to know flat out that you aren't interested.The next time that he askes you "Do you have something to say?",maybe you should say "Yes I do,listen,you are a nice guy and you're a great friend but I respect you and I respect your marriage and I am not interested in you personally and for that reason,I'd love to still be friends with you though."Say something along those lines or you don't have to say anything at all.You don't have to use my method,it's your choice.I don't want to make things wose or anything.But you do need to let him know that you just like him as a friend.It's perfectly okay to be a friend but not a close friend because remember,he's married so respect that.I hope that I helped you in some way or another or something.GOD BLESS you!

Answer 14

You should tell him you are a lil uncomfortable with the way things are going.  But let him know that you love having him as a friend but you feel he is crossing the line.  Especially since he is married.  If all else fails call his wife and let her know.  She has a right to know what her husband is doing behind her back.  Its embarrassing for her.  Definately put a stop to it.

Answer 15

Tell him to back off.  Talk only about work related things.  Do not take lunch or breaks with him.  If he persists go to your boss and ask for help.  It's work...there is no time for friendship at work.

Answer 16

I think you like the attention he is showing you. Remember, he is married and being very disrespectful to his wife.  He has let you know that he is married while all along trying to see how far he can get with you.  A great person to hang out with is one that fits the same tax catagory as you."Single". A man can only do what the female allows. You are sending him a mixed signal, "I might hook up with you" by spending time talking, sharing, and hanging out.  Most affairs happen in the workplace....

You are in control. Make the right de cision

Answer 17

Tell him that he is making you feel unconformable and please not to talk with you like that. Sheezzz thats really creepy.

Answer 18

If you really wanted him to stop all you have to do is tell him to back off. Your given him the green light and you are playing with him just as much.  You know you are flattered so get off your high horse and stop leading him on.  

If you don't stop now it will definitely lead into a full blown affair. I sure hope his wife finds out about the two of you before anything happens. You being a woman yourself should be thinking of his wife and stay away from him.  One day you will be the wife waiting for your husband to come home but instead he is out with a co-worker like you.

Answer 19

I would pretend like you have a boyfriend. This should stop some of the comments but it might not since him having a wife hasn't stopped him at all! With this excuse it will be easier to tell him that you can't hang out with him and that you like him as a friend but you don't feel comfortable with him calling you all the time and whatever else he does. If that doesn't work then I would say that it is probably time to tell him to get lost. It sounds like he is a fun guy but whoever acts like that when they have a wife is NOT a good person. You will probably lose his friendship but in the end I think it is the right way to go.  

Answer 20

talk to him and let him know you like him as a friend and that you respect the fact that hes married and he should too.......let him know it makes you feel uncomfortable when he talks to you in that way and you wanna strictly be his friend and that you would never consider dating a married man

Answer 21

pretend that you are a L*****n and tell him not to hurt his feelings but he is not your type and then call his wife and tell her that her beloved husband wont stop  asking you out and then see what he has to say about that