Married guy seduced by a girl at my gym and trying to get out of it now. What to do? Help??

Question

Yes I know I've done wrong but what do I do now? I've always been real athletic my whole life, played football in school and was a U.S. Marine and was doing triathalons up til a couple years ago...anyway I hit the gym pretty much 5 days a week at 5:30...so yes I do have a really nice body. Anyway there is a girl there that I noticed as soon as she joined, there everyday at 5:00ish and she is is amazing shape, great body and really super athleticism...she can go hard on the cardio equipment for an hour and then hit the weights hard for an hour...like I said she is impressive. Me and her are def the two fittest people in there. And she dresses to impress everyday..anyway she started talking to me pretty quik and finally we slowly got to where we worked out together. She kept telling me how she did sports massage on the side and if I ever needed one to give her a shout. I kinda knew that may be trouble so stayed clear...but last week she talked me into stopping at her apt (right across from the gym) where she has her table, after we finished working out. Well what a massage (she is actually very technically good with the deep muscle massgae) it was. It quickly turned flirty and before I knew what happened she had me hard and well from there I just gave in and we had s*x. I have to admit looking at that body while we had s*x it made me come like a freight train. Immediately after I left I felt so bad/guilty. But I have done it with her 2 other times, last week. It appears she has like a spell on me or something, I can't say no. Anyway I haven't gone this week (just ran/pushups/situps from home) and am thinking of joining another gym. I really don't want to tell the wife, I just want to move on...what do you think?? Advice please??

Answer 1

Made up Bullshit question.

Bet the most exercise YOU get is watching Tony Little infomercials at 3am eating a big bag of Cheetos.....

Answer 2

I love all the holier than thou attitudes on YA.

It is part of our genetic as well as spiritual makeup that we sin and give in to temptation. I am not saying that is an excuse to do what you want yet rather a statement of fact.

None on this board or elsewhere is perfect and those that sit on this board and act as if they have never had an impure thought amaze me.

I understand your predicament and I applaud your efforts to right a wrong and move on with your life.

My suggestion to you is to politely let the young lady know that you can not continue the relationship and that you would appreciate her understanding then change gyms. After all, by you just blowing out on her will leave her with possible resentment and even a probable negative encounter in the future if you see her in public.

I am of the school of thought that you understanding your wrongdoing(s) and are trying to make ammends for it. In this case I  do not suggest you tell your wife. All you will be doing is transferring your guilt on to her resulting in her distrusting you, creating an environment of potential hostility, feelings of inadequacy, etc. Keep your infidelities to yourself and let you deal with the emotions because you are the one that made the mistake.

Move on and love your wife as best you can and vow to yourself never to do it again.  

Answer 3

You've got yourself a big problem.  Is she going to be the obsessive type who will not let you go?  That would be my main concern in "moving on."  if you think she'll just let you go, then what you need to do is tell her you are done, you feel guilty, you don't want to lose your wife.  Then change gyms.  Do whatever you have to do to stop contact with her.  Any future contact is going to invite another opportunity to cheat.

Answer 4

Heres a clue~ Why not try telling this girl that your MARRIED, what's done is done, it was a HUGE mistake and you don't want it to happen EVER again. Tell her to back off (politely of course), no rubs, no tugs and unfortunately because of the sexual tension but VOWS to your wife you two can no longer work out together and  that if it continues to be a problem you will consider changing gyms.. Good Day.. and leave it at that.

You made your bed, now lay in it as they say.  

Answer 5

It would be nice if this were a troll-post.

If it is real though, you're a disgusting example of the male species, and an insult to all of the real men out there.

Ladies - be thankful if you have one of the good ones, and extremely thankful that you're not this shallow loser's wife.

Answer 6

Find a different gym would be a start, but telling your wife is something to think about. You have betrayed her, and honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. You cannot honestly tell us that you are not thinking about doing it again with this other woman, because I bet you will cheat again. I think you should tell your wife, so you can work thru this. You wife deserves a man who will be faithful to her, and you have not done this. I think you should tell your wife, because if the guilt doesnt get to you, this other woman might get to your wife first.

Answer 7

You have done the wrong thing and if you hide it, it will possibly blow out on you at some point in the future. Only you will know the best answer to your question. You will still need to tell the hot bod that it's over with her and that you wish to get on with your life. If she decides to not cause you any problems with your marriage, then it all falls back onto you and your own morals. How much guilt can you live with? There may be one positive in all of this. Your guilt may cause you to make it up to your wife by some means or other without her knowlege of the reasons.

You must be aware that by introducing a stranger into your s*x life, you run the risk of contracting any kind of transmittable disease that you, in turn, could pass on to your innocent partner and possibly your unborn children. But I am sure you are fully aware of all this.

There is always the risk that if you get away with your infidelity on this occasion, you may be tempted further down the track to dishonour yourself and your wife with another tryst. You may not be so lucky next time.

Answer 8

get over yourself and tell your wife didnt she tell you about us??

Answer 9

Cut off all contact with her and go he the gym at different time.

Answer 10

Go to another gym...  

Answer 11

Were you typing this with one hand?

Answer 12

O, what a tangled web we weave,

When at first we practice to deceive!

You're caught between a rock &  hard place here.  What if mistress informs on you anyway?  You indicate you want to be married, but also have an occasional fling here & there.  Sort of like that Bob Seger song, Beautiful Loser >>

He wants his home and security,

He wants to live like a sailor at sea.

Beautiful loser, where you gonna fall?

You realize you just can't have it all.

My thought here is what will wife do when she finds out from you, the mistress, or someone else?  I'm thinking if you man up now, you'll get it behind you.  But doing so might mean the end of the marriage.

How strong is the marriage?  Are there kids involved? Do you really want to be married?  Or would you rather be looking at better bodies & coming like a freight train to Toronto?  

Tough choices.  But can you live a lie?

Answer 13

did the evil woman seduce the poor married man??? is that what happened??? humm???

Answer 14

you messed up big time, dude.  see, i don't condone cheating.  what you did to your wife was inexcusible and selfish.  you extra messed up when you had an affair with someone too close to home.  first off, you should definately join another gym.  does she have your personal info?  if she does, you are in for it if she turns obsessive.  be prepared for her to narc you out to your wife and ruin your reputation.  there are no free rides, my friend, and when you play you pay.  there is always a price.  

also, your guilt is not going to go away even if you successfully push this woman out of your life.  you will always know that you were unfaithful...and not once either, habitually.  that constitutes an affair.  you seem to be a very visual person.  that's ok.  what you need to ask yourself is what were you getting from this other woman that you were not from your wife?  is she not in as good shape as you and you felt that this made you stray?  i'm not trying to judge you, just trying to get to the bottom of it.  

my best advice for you would be to come clean and accept the consequences.  if she agrees to stay with you, count yourself as lucky and then go to some serious marital counseling.  i think that it speaks volumes that you spoke about this woman as if she was the most fun person on earth, with the body of wonder woman, yet you never described your wife at all.  you'd better question your priorities in life, my friend.

Answer 15

my guess is you have a disease now, your wife will find out...

ugh, people like you make me sick...  God I hope someone tells your wife...

and I hope she divorces you, men who can't say no are whimps, you are weak and a loser and a coward...  no matter how many muscles they have from going to the gym.......!!!

lol @ Val, she might be right, too, lol!

Answer 16

that is soo sad. i honestly can not believe you did that to your wife. you should love your wife no matter how she looks hott or not. she is your wife. sure there are temptations but you HAVE to get over them. and you HAVE to tell her. be honest with her. maybe things wont work out. but you made a mistake and you need to be honest and fix it.  and you never know either... maybe it will make your relation ship stronger after a long while.

Answer 17

haha freight train hahahhaha just go to a different gym

Answer 18

Definitely ignore the "other" women and change gyms. You might want to get "tested" just to make sure. Nothing would anger me more if my sig.other cheated then came home and gave whatever he caught to me.

Just wondering did the other woman know you were married? bad on her part if she did. bad on yours if she didn't.

Answer 19

Well I guarantee you, if you don't tell your wifey SHE will and then it will ALL be Over! - with both women.

I don't believe you feel bad or guilty at all frankly! The mere fact that YOU CHOSE to put yourself in that vulnerable situation (alone, her place & Massage! when you are CLEARLY & SEVERELY attracted to this woman!) Well to me you were just asking for Trouble! And that also proves  that it didn't "just happen"... that's a bunch of crock!  & also the mere fact that you have repeated it 2 other times (or more that you're just not admitting to) just PROVES that you don't love your wife at all and you don't feel any remorse what so ever for what you've done!

Just remember, "Karma's a Bia#$H", what goes around comes around.  And before you even think of changing gyms do the Hounourable thing and tell your wife - give her that right to make the right decision on how to handle this situation herself .

My heart goes out to your wife. Why is it always the good woman that get scorned?!