Married homeschool moms - how do you get dad involved in your homeschooling?

Question

My husband supports the *idea* of homeschooling, but expects me to do ALL the curriculum choosing and teaching (aside from any co-ops or one-day classes). How can I get him to WANT to take some of the responsibility without "begging" him to help out? I realize he works very hard to support this lifestyle and needs time off, but, hey, so do I. And besides, our boys need time with their dad, don't they?

Answer 1

Find something that interests him and perhaps organize a "unit" for him to handle regarding one of the children (something that interests that particular child).

I have only one child and this is our first full year of hs - Grade One.  But hubby has an interest in woodworking in his spare time and he and our son have already begun making a bird house together - son does the measuring while hubby does the cutting.  They discuss how wood expands and contracts due to moisture, they discuss what kind of birds would live in that type of house based on the size of the hole and where it is placed.  They have even gone off and researched the type of birds we have living in this area.

Later, they are going to work on a section of Solar System unit/lapbook I have planned - hubby has a telescope and they will be outside together exploring the universe.

The key, I think, is to match each child's interests to that of your spouse and instead of overwhelming him, just have him take charge of that one section and one child at a time.  After a while, he might be ready to take on more.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Why don't  you have the boys choose something to study with their dad....a hobby they all enjoy. You can turn anything into homeschooling. Do the kids like sports?? Then have dad throw a football around outside with them for a while as part of their physical fitness. Do they all enjoy video games?? then have them play a video game then discuss how the video games are made.

My husband helps with schoolwork when he comes home on lunch but other than that homeschooling is all up to me. He is too busy to make all the decisions and know what they are doing each day but he does make an effort to help if they need it.

Answer 3

I'm not a homeschool mom.. but I'm a homeschooled teen.

At our house (there are 8 kids in the family) Mom does the vast majority of the homeschool planning.  Dad's part of the job is bringing home the money to support our home school.

He also does most of the family vacation planning (we have a motorhome).

But, if we need help with math Dad usually helps us, because he's an engineer and so he really knows all that stuff :D

Also, Dad is in charge of our yearly evaluation tests.

Answer 4

Promises, promises, promises . . . that is the deal at our home!  But actually, sadly, no real involvement.  Grrrr.

But the involvement of you, and the enjoyment of being in the home day in/day out, or at the library/museum/theater/wherever, is the payoff for us homeschoolers, dad or no dad.

Hang in there and do the best you can.  I have said "If my sons never darken the door of the 'school room' or a textbook again, they will be fine!"  They will be equipped for life as it comes.

Answer 5

I lucked out I guess, my husband & I talked long & hard about it, & we both agreed to homeschooling, & with the help of a wonderufl homeschooling mom, thats been at this for 6 years helped us pick out the circculum for him, and we all just happen to agree on it all. Not all ads would agree like, my husband did.

Answer 6

My husband really doesn't do more than maybe look at things the kids want to share with them or spend quality time with them. Our school time is when he's off at work (teaching--he's a jr. high teacher). I don't expect him to be involved with the actual homeschooling as this is the job I've taken on. Sure, I might ask him what he thinks of this resource or what he thinks about different lessons or something for the kids, but just as if I were teaching in a classroom, I wouldn't expect him to be involved in my job. (And maybe that's part of why we function the way we do--I used to teach in a classroom.) That's not to say that my kids don't learn things from him, but more of the guy, take-care-of-the-house/car/yard type thing or soccer skills.

Yes, your boys need time with their dad, but not necessarily in terms of homeschooling. If you'd like to get in some sort of educational activity, you might ask your kids if there are any kinds of projects they'd like to do with their dad, either in the evenings or on the weekends. They could then ask him.

Answer 7

Pray for God to convict his heart, and then let God do it.  Don't nag!!  He is still your husband and the man of the house.  Proverbs 31:10-31

Answer 8

What is he interested in? Does he enjoy cars or woodworking? He can teach that to your kids. Maybe he likes to do those 'dangerous' science experiments. Men are generally more hands on in learning and teaching. Think back to the 'cool' teachers that were always doing the projects or the lab experiments. Most of mine were men.

You might still have to do all the book work and buying of supplies for the hands on, but dad can actually do the 'dagerous' stuff.

Then again, you might have married a man like my dad. He is one of the smartest men I know, even as an adult. He is the worst teacher ever. He does not have the patience to teach. His thought process was I said it, you heard it, now you know it.

Good luck

Answer 9

If your husband is like mine, he is probably grateful that you have taken on hsing, but he is reluctant to have anymore responsiblity in his life. When my dh won't get involved, which is most of the time, I try to remind myself that he isn't asking me to help him with his job and I wouldn't want the responsibility of it anyway.

You can set aside some time to tell him what curriculum you have chosen and why and ask him if he has any input. Give him updates occasionally and just let him know you need someone to sound things off of. That will at least keep him informed and may actually draw him into the process.

As for spending time with the boys, everything he does with them will be educational, in terms of sons learning from dad. He can take them fishing, hiking, bowling or to the beach. He can read to them, teach them about football or golf - or anything else he chooses to do. Hsing is life-learning afterall.

Peace and hang in there. You are doing great!

Answer 10

You sound like you could be living in my house!!!  It can get overwhelming at times, can't it?  And we're not supposed to complain, because by gads, we're Supermoms!!!  :rolls eyes:

Here's how I get him involved:  I tell him that while there are a LOT of areas that I excel in, there are areas where I'm a bit weaker.  And it so happens that my weak areas are his strengths.  So I ask him to research curriculums in those subjects.  Instead of throwing him headfirst into deep water, I gather various curriculums in that particular subject, and let him choose the best one.  That really got him started.  Now he surfs the net for curriculum!

I also have him teach the boys the electives that he's great in, like music, science, and sports.  It makes the boys feel that their dad is truly involved in their education.  

I hope that helps you some!

Answer 11

Good luck!   My husband looks at the things the kids have done and helps to answer questions if I can't.  

Now that my son is older he is now showing him how to look after the cars (changing brakes, oil, etc.)

However, other then that he is not involved a whole lot.  He works 10-13 hour days and just doesn't have time.  I pick all the curriculum because he doesn't have a clue just how the kids learn or what would work best for each kid.

Answer 12

Maybe he feels his job to go to work and yours is to teach.  Do you help him do his job?  Maybe after working all day he doesn't want to come home and do your job for/with you. I agree you both need time off that should  be at night and on weekends.  The boys can spend time with their dad not doing school work right?  Spending time with dad while he chooses a curriculum doesn't sound like great father son bonding time.  Not like going to the park, zoo, ball game, movies or even cleaning the garage together.  I'm not saying that dad can't help with the homework, all parents should help with that.  It's just during the day you are the teacher and at night you and dad are the parents.  

Maybe he feels you are better qualified to choose the lessons and curriculum since you spend alot more time with them and know what they need to be taught.  You are better qualified to make these decisions and he trusts you with those very important decisions.

Answer 13

Home schooling is a natural progression in raising your children; you are simply adding is an academic component.

This can come in the form of many things, and most dads since they are working during the day when the majority of "schooling" takes place have often little involvement with it.

To alleviate that you may look into a method called unschooling so learning is much more relaxed, and natural.

Unschooling does no make the dads feel like they need to be a "teacher" in the traditional sense.

To get them involved just extend the arm of parenting, let them take the children fishing, camping, work around the house with him, scouts, 4H, built a kite, a tree house ,or something else they are interested in.

Depending on the age of the boys they may be able to get a project car, and restore it together, they will learn so much, and all these activities give them the time together that the will need.

In the evening let them read together, or play some board games.

There is really no limit to the choices he has to be involved as long as the activities are geared to what they like to do.

Answer 14

Dad reads the read aloud books as bed time stories! my husband watches the kids 2 days a week so that i can work as well so he teaches them on those 2 days

Answer 15

You didn't say whether you work outside the home or not.  If you are the one home all day while your hubby works, it is natural that you should take on the majority of the homeschool responsibilities.  That doesn't mean that dad can't do a little, though.  If he doesn't want input into the kind of curriculum you should probably just pick what you like best.  As for the day to day stuff, see if dad will read to the kids at night before bed, or do some sports activities with them.  

My husband helps a lot, but we both work outside the home so its only fair.  I work fewer hours than he so I do more than he does.  If I was home full time I would expect only occasional help from him with formal lessons, of course I would still expect that he would be involved with the kids, playing with them, reading to them, teaching them to pass a football, etc.