Married people!!!!! Would you move in with your in-laws?

Question

My husband and I are supposed to move in with his parents this weekend and help his mom out because his dad is not doing so well. I am scared that we are making a big mistake by doing so. We just got married in May. He is 33 and I am 25. They are giving us the downstairs to have as a studio like apt. but there is no bathroom or kitchen. We have to share that. Has anyone else lived with their in-laws, how was it? How did you make the transition of living on your own an then with someone go smoothly?

Answer 1

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! DONT DO IT!!

Answer 2

When we graduated from college we moved in my in-laws.  However we had our own entrance, bath and kitchen.  In two years we saved enough for a down payment on a house.  Meanwhile his mother was diagnosed with cancer and we were there to help with the two younger children (ages 7 and 9).  It worked well for us.  I just tried to be as helpful as possible.  We paid for half the utilities and phone use.

Answer 3

I Love My Mother In Law But I Would Not Want To Live With Them SO Many Things That You WOuld Have To Do And You Are No Going to Have Any Privacy Get An Apparent Near By But Don't Move In

Answer 4

Only as a last resort...I get along with my in laws...but I certainly don't want to live with them...I have heard many horror stories by people who have had to live with in laws or other family members...

Answer 5

BIG MISTAKE! Try living close enough to them so you can come quickly when they need help... like in the same neighborhood.  

Answer 6

sometimes it works mostly it doesn't....

for my money i'd say don't do it.  

unfortunately you are already committed.

Answer 7

Ewwww....that is a recipe for certain disaster!!  Regardless of how wonderful your relationship is with your in-laws, there is always going to be issues. It's never good to have two women in the same kitchen! And sharing a bathroom....I wouldn't want to do that with my own children, let alone two adults!  

Is there anyway you can remain where you are and still assist his ailing father??  I would strongly suggest it!

Best of Luck Sweetie!

Answer 8

It all depends on the relationship u have with his parents if your close it will be ok. My mother and brother in law will be moving in to help us out. We all have different times we go to work and will have own space. So we won't see each other until the weekends so I think and hope it will work out fine. I had the same thoughts as you at first, but we need there help so there's nothing I can say.

Answer 9

You ARE making a BIG mistake.Get them a place near you or move near them but not IN with them.

Answer 10

Oh my, this is a lot to ask from a new bride!!.  I guess you can only try it for a while to see how it goes.  I would make my husband agree to a date, for example, we will TRY this until Christmas or for 6 months - if its not working we will leave!

Answer 11

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Answer 12

Well, when my husband and I moved in with my in-laws and with 3 boys, it was a very crowded home and very frustrating too. Things were great, then things got not so good. So we quickly had to move into another home. It was hard living in that small house, but my in-laws did help us by letting us stay with them until we were able to get our own place. And we did. Thanks to them we got to save money for another home! We moved from California out of the blue and wanted a great life for our sons. And now, we are living in Idaho, but in a much bigger home than before. Sometimes you have to do what you gotta do to get by. And there is nothing wrong with accepting the help from others.  

If your husband and you are in agreement with moving to his parent's home, then it should turn out okay. He wants to help out his mom by helping take care of his dad. He is doing what he should do because they are his parents. You just need to remind him that he is still married and needs to spend time with you too. You will just have to do with what you have and that is to share the bathroom and the kitchen. You should thank his parents for allowing you to stay in the downstairs area. I am sure they would love to have you both there with them. Don't worry and don't be scared, it will only be for awhile until his dad gets better. You will do fine. You have yourself a great husband who cares and is willing to do an act of kindness by wanting to care for his dad and mom. Those are good traits and someday when you have children, you can share the same story with them as well. He is one lucky man to have your support as well.  

Answer 13

My mother lives wth my husband & I. A few years ago she was hurt and out of work and could not afford it on her own. SHe came to live with us. I loved the idea because I love my mom and  if I needed help with the kids I would not have to travel to drop them off or etc. My husband was just not happy and still isn't. I do not think he will ever be happy. I find no problem with her here. You and him will probably have a difference of opinion always. If they are easy going like my mother you probably be able to ignore the feelings but if they get in this busness etcc it may be a problem

Answer 14

There will be stress.  Just let it roll off your back like it was no big deal.  Definitely don't hold your husband responsible.  Be loving to his parents no matter what.  That will keep stress down with the two of you and he will love you more for it.  He will see you are trying and you two will become closer.  But, don't let this situation go on for a long time.  You two need your own place eventually.

Answer 15

don´t move! it will probably end in disaster. i talk from experience b/c my gran used to live with us when i was little and her being there was the cause of most of my parents fights. even now years later and even though my poor granny died they still fight over that time. i remember i was caught in the middle of all of it and it was awful. i felt very bad because i loved my mum but i also loved my gran and they didn´t see eye to eye. it´s very difficult for a parent to live with their children and their children´s family and not interfere one way or another. interference means fighting etc.  

Answer 16

Huge mistake.