Married people and single...Here's a quesiton regarding men and women and s*x???? Takes some honesty here:?

Question

if...men look at s*x as a thrill or chase and women look at it as an expression of love, then why do men sleep with us and expect us to understand it's just s*x?? And why do we as women sleep with our man and feel it's love when we both know what each other veiws about s*x is?? I separated from my husband and this issue cam up. He still wanted to be s*xual and I said now b/c it's an expression of love and means more to me, he said but it's just s*x.....What can each do to get a clearer understanding about our views when it comes to s*x?

Answer 1

Sorry to disappoint you on this.

I am a man that only loves one woman, however I know of just as many women that treat s*x as cold as some men, you obviously are quite young or inexperienced. Don't be that blind, unfortunately only about 10% if not less of the population (men and women) are loyal to themselves and each other.

Answer 2

THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL TO US ALL!  

Most seem to not care about one anothers feelings when it comes to s*x.  It is a game, a sport, but as the saying goes . . . . .

        give us enough rope, and eventually, we will hang ourselves!

So what if you could get diseases from each other and die?, is what the attitude of the s*xually active going from partner to partner with no protection is.

Sorry to tell you this, but you will never get a clear understanding about male and female views when it comes to s*x and love!  

Men and Women are just not going to come to an agreement on everything; we are not going to think alike no matter how sensible it

may seem to you.

If you find a man who looks at s*x as an expression of love, then he is mature . . . . . he has some experience under his belt, and is ready to commit to a relationship or marriage.

If you find a man who looks at s*x as a thrill or chase (game), then he

is still immature, and a waste of your time if you are looking for

committment of a relationship or marriage.

If you are in a  marriage where your man still thinks like the immature guy, then you are better off separated.

I love s*x, but if the man I am with doesn't make me feel he is truly in love with me and expressing love when I am with him s*xually, it is nothing for me to drop him and move on.  I am not going to continue to share something so important to me with someone who doesn't appreciate the true art of love and love-making.

Answer 3

Not ALL men think that way.

** Although, maybe they do from the above responses** lol !

Answer 4

Uh.  Its pretty complicated.

The simplest answer is that men enjoy s*x with or without love, but only enjoy love with s*x.

Women tend to enjoy close loving relationships even without s*x, but are less interested in s*x without love.

If I was going to be more specific, I'd say that's not entirely true.  Men have evolved to both 'spread their seed' by having s*x with available women, and to fall in love and raise a family with the 'best' mate available, improving the odds of success for those 'most likely to succeed' kids.  Women have likely evolved to mate with the best man possible, and to couple off with the best men possible to raise the kids, providing him with some sexual access to keep him around.  Note that there is evidence that females find 'more masculine' looking men more attractive when they are fertile, suggesting they may have evolved to partner up with one guy, but cheat with the alpha male when ovulating, if that's possible.

Based on this ... for men, women they are willing to settle down with are a _subset_ of women they want s*x with.  When a relationship falls apart, a woman may fall from the 'want relationship with' category into the 's*x only' category.

For women, its the other way.  The pool of men they would have a stable relationship (with some s*x) in is bigger then the smaller pool of men they would jump even without a relationship.  A lot of women say they wouldn't have s*x outside a relationship, but if they were single, they'd sleep with brad pitt or whoever tonight in a heartbeat.  Of course, they'd prefer to be married to their favourite hearththrob, but there IS a pool of men they'd sleep with outright.  Most partners women have are not in that 'inner circle'.  They enjoy s*x with them so long as their is a relationship, but relationship over, no s*x.  On the other hand, sometimes there are relationships where the guy was in the 'want s*x and/or relationship' category, and in those cases, she may still want to sleep with him after the breakup, and for some couples, it happens.

There are huge communication issues.  Women do not understand how emotionally important s*x is to men in a relationship.  Men do not understand that women have as high a drive for great s*x as they do, but that the idea of 'okay s*x' is a turn off for most women.  Men do not understand (and would likely be crushed to know) that most women they date do not find them extremely attractive, but don't think that's important in a relationship.  Men I think have been brainwashed into thinking that for women, love = s*x, and cannot understand what's happening when that turns out to not be true.

Answer 5

Men, cant live with them cant live without them. I think that it is sad a man can claim to love his wife and still go out and drool over others. If a man loves his wife, real love then she should be all he needs? I dont know men are just selfish when it come to s*x.

Answer 6

Just s***w the dude and move on.  Holy smokes!  

Answer 7

I can't speak for all men of course, but, for me it's just fun and feels good.  For my wife it is much more complicated and she can't just turn it on and off like I can.  It is a constant issue, but, we deal with it by trying to understand each other and talk about it.

Answer 8

all we want is s*x...  it's you women who want the whole marraige cra*p.. yout fool us to get married cause we think it's 24\7 s*x. till u pull the rug out from under us...

Answer 9

ITS ABOUT PLEASURE FOR WOMEN TOO..............we want s!ex sometimes justt for pleasure.......

Answer 10

There is no misunderstanding. Men use s*x on women to make them fall in love emotionally so they can get more s*x from them.

Women use s*x on men to get them hooked to the s*x so they will love them.

It's all a game of cat and mouse. Everyone knows there place some people just act like they don't know.

Answer 11

s*x is great in any form but wonderful when it is meaningful and shared with the one you deeply love. In all relationships at some stage a "desperation shag" may take place and I guess it's just natural. By the same token I know lots of women in all age groups that enjoy the act as mush as the combination.

Again, it is so important to speak to your partner about important issues. As far as your partner wanting s*x after the divorce - I think he just taking a chance and too d**n lazy to find someone else and using you in the interim. Don't do it  

Answer 12

i like s*x but i love make in love with my wife

Answer 13

I don't look at it as an expression of ANYTHING.

I use it to get what I want, doesn't every woman???

Seriously now, I love $$$, and he loves s*x, we give to get.......

Answer 14

this is my humble opinion, you do not have to accept it.

s*x is both just s*x and love. Most men see s*x as just s*x, but I know other men who see it as an expression of love; as I know women who see it as just s*x.

We sleep with our men [ me i don't sleep with men like that but people who i am in love with, i've had 2 lovers over all] because we 1) love them, 2) want to just have s*x, 3) both.

Men sleep with women because 1) they want s*x, 2) expression of love also.

The point is how we use s*x. Your ex only sees you as a sexual object because i don't care if you're divorcing someone, there shouldn't be any s*x and the fact he said that to you means you should thnak God that you're geting out. This man doesn't value you.

if a man or a woman wants s*x only for that s*x, they should relay the message to their partner. Example I was making out [only making out] with this guy but before i started i said "look i don't want your number, i'm not going to give you mine, i just want to make it. that's it. I'm not even going to have s*x with you". he was ok with it and we made out.

Answer 15

Mature men and women, married or not, express love through s*x sometimes and have s*x just to enjoy it sometimes with someone they love. They also tend to not have such stereotypes or to think s*x is a bad word that has to be censored. You can get a clearer understanding of each other's views by discussing them with each other.

Answer 16

Makes me think of this quote by Robin Williams; "God gave men two heads and only enough blood to run one at a time."

Answer 17

Let's face it -- the double standard still applies when it comes to s*x.  Men it seems can have all the s*x they want, while women pick up a nasty label if they do so.

Don't know that it will ever change.  I thought that after the sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s that it had, but it really hasn't -- the old labels still get slapped on pretty easily.

Not much we can do about that, except try not to worry about what other people think.  It's a sad thing.

Answer 18

Well s*x is not just s*x for all men. There are plentuy of men out there who would consider this an expression of how they feel towards you.

You just had a jerkoff.

Answer 19

When you have a clear understanding of your relationship your wants and needs change. Yes, for women, we look at s*x as a togetherness, a closeness, and a desire for that person in your life. For men, it is physical and sometimes just to have a sexual relationship with a woman. Some of friends with benefits but no commitment or desire to be with the woman.

There are some women who think like men and just want s*x and visa versa for men. Some men just want to be married and want the love, security, devotion, affection, and have someone there for them.

In a nutshell, it depends on the person and what they want in life.

s*x is a need for everyone not for only procreation.

Answer 20

To any emotinally mature male there are two kinds of s*x.  The s*x for s*x kind...just want to feel good.  Then there's the emotional, I love you s*x.  They are two totally separate things to us.  Personally, I get much more enjoyment from the emotional bond s*x...but still enjoy the "fun" kind.  Remember, "s*x is like pizza - when it's good it's really good - when it's not so good - it's still pretty good" LOL