Married people please answer!!?

Question

My husband and I have seperate checking accounts. We kind of got used to having our "own money". I don't see it as a problem but everyone is saying our money should be together in one account. It's been working out fine so far, we split all the bills and any major household purchases and then we do what we want with the rest of our money. We both are responsible with money and we do have a savings account that we put money in periodically. We don't want to have to get permission from one another every time we want to buy something. Neither of us are selfish at all, as we share everything and do things for eachother all the time. We just don't see the need to share our paycheck. We file our income tax jointly but we split the money. My mom thinks we are weird and says it's not how a married couple should be. My question is, do you think married couples should have a joint checking account? How long before you and your spouse got a joint account?

Answer 1

Stick to having your own accounts. Less hassle, seems you have a good system in place. Go you!

Answer 2

I'm only 21 but I was married by 18 so about three years almost more we both always had our own accounts like you said we both always slit everything down the line but if we see something in the house is need he or I will buy it. i think its foolish to think just because your married you have to put you money together.... i wanna save for a new car so i do that he wants to save for a boat so he is doing that i love it this way that way we will never fight over where all the money went and what did i spend it on.... But yes if i dint have which is mostly not often he will pay for it he is in the Navy and i have a work ant home or at site job.... i think its fine to do both ways you have savings together... that's good enough

Answer 3

if this is the way things work for you and if it feels right to both of you, why change a succesful ongoing situation because other people find it weird?  

Answer 4

If that works for you don't worry about what others think but personally I don't see why you guys aren't using the same account it is kind of a contradiction you say you share and you have no problem spending and neither of you are cheap and all that but neither of you feel you should have to share your paycheck that is a contradiction because that means you do have a problem sharing don't you see that.

Answer 5

IF IT'S BEEN WORKING FOR YOU GUYS AND AS YOU SAY, THAT NEITHER OF YOU ARE SELFISH, THEN STAY WITH WHAT YOU KNOW.  LIKE THE OLD SAYING GOES ,"IF IT AIN'T BROKE, DON'T FIX IT."  IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'VE FOUND SOMETHING THAT WORKS FOR YOU GUYS.  EVERY COUPLE IS UNIQUE, EVERY PERSON IS UNIQUE.  WHERE WED TEND TO MESS UP IS WE TRY TO PUT EVERY SITUATION "IN A BOX" AND TRY TO FIX IT FROM THERE. , BECAUSE EVERY PERSON IS UNIQUE,, EVERY SITUATION A PERSON IS IN DESERVES AN ANSWER THAT IS UNIQUE TO THEM.

   MY WIFE AND I ARE VERY DIFFERENT SHE CAN FIX THINGS BETTER AND FASTER THAN ME, BUT I KNOW HOW TO SEW AND SHE DOESN'T, I'M THE BETTER COOK.SO WE STAY WITH WHAT WE KNOW, & RELY ON EACH OTHER'S STRENGTHS. I HOPE THIS HELPS.

Answer 6

We had a joint account from day one. All money goes into the maintaining of the household, vehicles, etc. No large sums were spent unless we both agreed and there were very, very few times we disagreed on what expenses should be met.

However if this seperate account thing is panning out for you then don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Experience is the best teacher. If your experience with it is good then continue.

Answer 7

I've been married 14 years and although we have a joint checking and savings account - we also have separate. Everything is split 50-50 and we both contribute to the savings account.  We do not have any joint credit cards.  I think if it works for you then who cares what anyone else says?  

Answer 8

never!! so many couples fight and end up DIVORCING over money!! the fact that you guys have your own and its working is GREAT!!!!! dont let anyone convince you to do anything that causes most couples plenty of arguements! its not weird its the way it should work now a days. keeping some independence is EXCELLENT and healthy in a relationship and the fact that you do it with money the cause of all evil is wonderful! MORE POWER TO YOU! your marriage will probably outlast 70% of others just based on the fact you do what youre doing and it WORKS!!

Answer 9

I say do what works for you and your husband.  Many people never have joint back accounts and things work out just fine.  Don't worry so much about what others say.

Answer 10

I think a joint account works for me and my wife.  If it doesn't work for you, or the separate thing works, don't worry about it.  We threw everything in together as soon as we got married.  It's worked ever since.

And with the dollars and getting permission, our general rule is "Over 100 bucks, talk it out."  Otherwise, go get whatever you want.  We are both fiscally responsible and we have about the same level of wants and needs with money.

Answer 11

No, married couples do not need to have a joint account.  You are doing fine! I had a teacher in high school tell my class that the way to a happy marriage is to have separate checking accounts, and I have taken his advice.  It sounds like you and your husband are completely happy with the arrangement as it is.  Therefore don't let these other people make you question what you are doing because it is your decision.  My husband and I just got married, and we do not have a joint bank account for the same reasons you mention in your post.  We do have a joint credit card that we use for joint purchases.   Next time someone says something about it, politely tell them that you are responsible adults who have worked out a suitable financial arrangement and that they should mind their own business.

Answer 12

You wanna hear it from the other perspective?

My husband and I have always had joint accounts. Even now. He basically gives me his check every week and I write out all payments for all bills. I hate it! I wish he had more to do with paying bills but he “can’t handle the stress of it”. So I just do it. I’ve tried passing him the checkbook and he can’t handle it. I set a budget, I stick with it, and we pay bills according to our budget. However, my husband can’t help himself and he always feels obligated to buy himself SOMETHING. It got to the point where I took away his debit card because it’s SO easy to swipe that thing wherever you go. And then we lose track because he overspends.

My husband never had to have his own account because we’ve always had joint. He’s never even really paid too many bills on his own because I always do it. Not because I want to be in control but because I have to control how we spend our money before it disappears in front of my own eyes. I hate it! I wish we could split things, maybe he’d see how much he overspends.

So with that said…..I think you are SMART for having separate accounts. I think that you two are trained enough to have done things this way for a while now that if you did do joint accounts you’d still know how things are supposed to work. So for you guys, I think this is a personal preference. If it’s working for you guys now, why change it?? Just because you’re married and having a joint account is the “norm” doesn’t mean you have to change how you do things.

Just my opinion….

Answer 13

I think that whatever works out for you is fine. People just need to learn to butt out.

It would be one thing if you were not sharing the responsibilities together but that is not the case.

As long as it is working in your marriage, it should be fine.

Answer 14

I think you are lucky that this works for you. My husband is awful with managing finances, so I had to take over right away. I would rather not be balancing the checkbook every day for 2 people...too much work. If it's not broke...don't fix it!

Answer 15

I don't think it's a big deal to keep things as they are..if it ain't broke don't fix it. my folks have seperate accounts n have always...they've been married for 30 or more years. my ex husband n I had a joint account as soon as we married...big mistake. I'm a saver n he was a spender so he went thru my money quick. just do what works for yall :)

Answer 16

I had this same question last year right after I got married. We also never joined our checking accounts just because it was working fine, but then I got to thinking we are married, we should have one account and pool our income. I started feeling like we were more like roommates splitting the bills than a married couple doing everything as a team. But if it works for you two and you're happy then why change? Personally, now that we've done it, I like it so much better. It really is alot easier and runs more smoothly.

Answer 17

Other people have no business knowing your financial arrangements and you need to change the subject and not tell people.

My husband told me before we got married that I needed to put all of the bills in my name only. Also he gives me his paycheck and it goes into my account. He doesn't want to be tempted to spend our money that is set aside for household bills.

We also have our own savings account. We will figure out how much we can use as an "allowance". It works very well for us.

Everyone does things differently. What works for one marriage, may not work for another. It's no one's business on how you manage your household.

Answer 18

We got a joint account about 6 months after we moved in together. Married 1 1/2 later, married 20 yrs almost. We have all joint finances w right of survivor. I think joint finances are best that way you can both retire same year, take same vacations etc. Good idea if you budget or plan out your expenses so that you each have your own spending money.

Answer 19

No married couples should have joint accounts i bet you sleep in seperate beds to  

Answer 20

If it works for you, don't worry about what other people think!

Answer 21

When my husband and I was first married we had a joint account and then we moved and opened seperate accounts so far this has worked fine for us. Its what works best for yall. Some people think it should always be joint but that isn't always the case. You do whats best for yall if its not broke don't fix it/