Married people please answer this: Is it ok for a wife to talk on the phone with ex from high school?

Question

ok i have recently found my ex from high school on myspace. he gave me his number so i asked my hubby if he would have a prob with me calling him to say hi whats up? nothing more then that. i have no feelings for this person other then we used to date in high school (many years ago) and i am happy in my marriage. any way hubby was very mad that i even asked. Is it really wrong to want to see how he is doing and to say hi? please no joking answer. i really want truthful answers

Answer 1

why dumb *** people like to bring other in their relationship and **** it up. if your husband is upset then let it go. what do you two have to talk about? more than likely your ex want to more than talk on the phone. i had a friend in the same situation. she wanted to talk on the phone to an "old friend" and her husband said no. so she called the guy anyway behind her husband back and her and her "old friend" ended up s******g. dumb *** broad. i told her that that was going to happen and she didn't listen. her husband left her and took the kids with him.

Answer 2

If you really dont have feeling for this ex then why cause problems in your marriage over him. Even if nothing is going on. In my case I would not want my man talking to his ex girlfriends because just becasue he might not have feelings for them, they could have feelings for him and potentially cause problems or temptations for us.

Answer 3

It's not worth it -  if you think it will hurt your relationship one little bit with your husband.

If you honestly, honestly think your husband wouldn't mind, then go ahead.  BUT you asked him thinking it might bother him.    

You really shouldn't contact your old ex.  

Answer 4

You are happily married, have told your husband so it's not a secret, you're no longer interested in him romantically, & you just want to catch up & say hi.... for the most part I'd say that calling him was ok. BUT... your husband is uncomfortable with this, you do have a history with him, and you were looking for him on myspace (why?).... so I'd have to say that thought it's not wrong it's just not a good idea. Why upset your husband? And what do you know about your ex? Is your call likely to upset his life, be misinterpreted by him as an attempt on your part to get together again? It's probably a can of worms waiting to explode. What if feelings DO come back to you when you hear his voice? Then what?

Let sleeping dogs lie. When they are awakened without warning they tend to bite.

Answer 5

Maybe what would you think if your husband would want to talk to his ex girlfriend, obviously you know there is going to be memories of the past.You want to forget everything in the past and focus of the future

Answer 6

If it doesn't bother your husband, then I don't see a problem.  To allow him to be more comfortable, do it in his presence so he can hear that nothing suspicious is going on.

Answer 7

Obviously your husband has a problem with it. That should be enough for you. You did the right thing in checking with him before you called (as he should do if the situation were reversed). If he didn't have a problem with it, I would say that it's no problem, but he does. Marriage is about mutual respect.

Why do you need to talk on the phone to see how someone is doing? Isn't that what Myspace is for?

Answer 8

i can understand how that would make your husband mad. This guy you're talking to is your ex, why do you give a f--k about an ex?  

Answer 9

As a husband I wouldn't be mad at just my wife asking me that but I would surely be possessive and maybe close up a bit if i come to know that instead of just HI hellos it has ended up into daily calls. I would also take interest and would like to meet him but would be comfortable once i am sure that its a casual friendship from my wife's side and also her ex's. I hope and pray I was helpful.

You know in life sometimes its these twists and turns in relationships that make our love and relationship stronger ( if taken positively, of course).

Answer 10

If it was just a high school romance, I don't think there should be anything wrong with you just talking to him - especially since you aren't trying to hide it from your husband.  Now since your husband doesn't want you to talk to him, maybe you should honor those wishes.  Is your old bf  married or does he have a girlfriend???  If so   maybe the  4 of you can meet for drinks so your husband is reassured you have no other interest in him then other to say hi to an old friend.    

Answer 11

Honestly, you should forget about your EX. what business do you have in contacting him anyway? I'd understand if you accidentally bumped into him in public..but you searched for him on myspace and now want to call him? There's really no need for you to do so..your husband has the right to be upset because he's not searching for his ex g/fs and calling them up just to say 'hi'. He's your ex for a reason..leave it that way for the sake of your marriage.  

Answer 12

I think you have to put yourself in his shoes... If his ex from high school wanted to get back in touch, how would you react???  As a wife in a stable relationship myself, I am not so sure I would appreciate the situation.  

Answer 13

If your husband has a problem with it, there's no reason to take it any further.

Good that you asked him; that shows you have some respect for him.  Ask yourself why you felt the need to search for your ex.  

Too often things that start "innocently" or out of "curiosity" end up in infidelity.  Whether that's intentional or not is not the question.  

When you've got someone else on your mind, even if it's simply curiosity, you're not putting 100% of yourself into your marriage.

Just my thoughts.

Answer 14

Your husband should have not got mad that you asked.  He should have calmly explained why he does not want you to contact your ex.

If you are truly happy in your marriage, you ex should should stay securely where he should be - in your past and NOT contacted now.

I would say the same thing to a married man about his ex.

Answer 15

Let him go.  If the situation was reversed and you had no problem with it, you would be seen as cold and indifferent.