Marrying at 16? Help?

Question

My bf and i have been dating over a year. and now he thinks we are gonna get married in the future? We are both 16, and im just confused. How many high school sweethearts actually make it? We love eachother to death, and we almost never fight. Just tell me what you think

Answer 1

16 is very young to be considering marriage.  You may change because you are still shaping your identity and values.  It's great that you and your boyfriend have a good relationship but I would keep it on a boyfriend-girlfriend level.  I'm sure it is difficult to hear but the best thing that you can do is to wait.  Even for couples who love each other deeply, marriage is stressful.  Value your relationship enough to give it the best chance to succeed.  This includes finishing college before marriage so that you both have a sense of independent financial security.  Discover what is important to you and where you would like to be in the next 5, 10, and 20 years.  Establish a strong friendship with your boyfriend because, if you do decide to marry later on, it will be the foundation that carries you through rough times.  

I met my husband when I was 15 but we didn't marry until I had my bachelor's degree six years later.  I am so glad that we waited!  We used the time we were dating to get to know one another and grow together.  It really helped down the road because the first year of marriage is a big adjustment.  Plus, life can be unpredictable and waiting made us more prepared for challenges that arise.  

Maybe you should let your boyfriend know that talking about marriage at 16 is moving too fast.  Why not enjoy your time in high school, spending time together as boyfriend and girlfriend and maintaining close relationships with your other friends?  

Answer 2

Well i met my bf when i was 17 and we've been together over a year and he wants to get married. I mean not right now but it's really in his plans... I don't know of how many make it but why don't ya'll just have fun for the time being and see how things happen. Who knows ya'll might really love each other. =]

Good luck

Answer 3

Take your time!  You have a ton of growing up and changing to do.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm glad you're so happy. Just be happy now, and stop worrying about getting married. If you're meant to last a lifetime, you will. If not, loving someone else is a wonderful thing, whether it lasts or not.

Answer 5

My fiance and I were in the same situation.. we dated until we were 18.. i always thought no one ever stays with their high school sweetheart.. blah blah blah.. we ended up breaking up.. i grew up alot learned alot in life but never regretted it.. then 4 1/2 years later we crossed paths again and we are getting married next month. i wont tell u to stay with him. you need to experience life or by the time u are 21 you will be miserable (in some cases not all of course). if its meant to be its meant to be.  

Answer 6

My husband and I are middle school sweethearts we have been dating since we were 13. You never know what the future holds if you grow together or apart its your journey.

Answer 7

It is true, not many high school sweethearts make.  People change and grow up.  But I have been with my husband since I was 15.  We were going out for 5 years and then we got married and its almost going to be a year.  I am very happy and I wish you the best of luck.  

Answer 8

Take your time! I know a lot of high school sweethearts that make it! One of my best friends just married her high school sweetheart about a year and a half ago and now she's having a baby!!! But she waited almost 9 years since they've been together to get married. You change a lot, as a person, the way you think, act, and talk...everything. Give it time!!! Good luck!

Answer 9

My husband and I are the closest thing I know to high school sweethearts who've actually gotten married (not including those who were stupid enough to get married right after they graduated - although they're divorced by now).  My husband and I met in high school but didn't start dating until college.

I thought I was going to marry the guy I dated in high school and now I am SOOOOOOO happy that it didn't happen.  We broke up during my sophomore year of college and it was for the better.

If you guys are still together once you're done with college and have decent-paying full-time jobs, go ahead and get married, but wait until you've been able to experience life after high school as the real world is way different that the sheltered lives high school kids live.

Answer 10

HI...

well sweety, if u don't be pregnat, i really don't see anyround the million dollar reason to get marry at 16!!...are you crazy?, do u have the mininum idea of what is like?...dont do it lady!!...just dont, even think it about it...

wait, get some rest, have fun, travel with ur girlfriends!!...date with boys, go to college, get some xperience abput life, dont throw it away...believe me, he's 16 too, he's meantally innestable and also the most important thing, still he dont grow up!!....in a year, he gonna leave u for another girl, under you age, why?...because he's young!!...and u...u gonna cry, and all the other things...

please, wait until 24!!, at least!!!....please baby rock your life, enjoy your teeage, enjoy it, taste it, and then, just then..get marry...but doing at the right way...

pease, and be carefull!!..

bye

Answer 11

Most do not make it. Especially if you get married right out of high school at 18/19. I dated a wonderful person when I was in high school. We talked a little about a future together. Once we got to college everything changed. At the age of 20 I met my husband. Dated for 5 years and then got married. Happily married for 11 years with one son.

The best advice I have for you is live today. Don't think about some future event or fantasize about some chick flick wedding. Be happy now. If it works it does. Do not get married before you are graduated from HS or College for that matter. Establish yourself as you and know who you are. Live on your own and let him live on his own. Enjoy your 20's and live it up. Don't wast them popping out kids watching your friends party while you resent your spouse. Seen it a thousand times.  

Answer 12

My husband and I were high school sweethearts and we are very happy together. We got married when I was 19 and he was 18. I graduated a year before him and we got married the month after he graduated. Neither of us would change anything, but my advice to you is wait. If you want to get married right out of high school, no one can stop you. And my husband and I are proof that it does work...For some people. I don't know the numbers for sure, but I do know that very very few high school sweethearts make it. Don't be in a rush. If you guys love each other it will happen no matter how old you are. But never ever rush into marriage!!

Answer 13

the only people i've known that have gotten married to their high school sweetheart eventually divorce or they're very unhappy.

Answer 14

Get married when you finish school.Alot of sweethearts make it.My parents did.

Answer 15

My wife and I met in HS and have been together for 13 years.  It has worked for us, but takes a lot of work.  You grow as a person, and your partner has to be willing to accept the person you become as you get older.  

Answer 16

I actually disagree with most of your other posters about young love never making it.  True, it is rarer, but it happens.  I am marrying my high school sweetheart next April! (although we are now 25...we waited to grow and mature together before deciding to take the next step).  That said, I don't think your bf means he is going to propose immediately, just that he sees himself with you for the rest of his life.  That is very sweet, and of course you are too young to think about that level of commitment this young.  Wait until you're at least 20 (preferably until you finish college at 22 or so), see if you have grown together or grow apart, and if you are still as in love with each other in a few years, then you can talk about getting married.  Good luck and congratulations (for the future!)

As a side note, the only thing that sucks about marrying your high school sweetheart is that you have to wait for a LONG time to get engaged.  In their mid 20's, people get engaged in a year or two, but when you start dating at 16-17, you are not going to get engaged probably for 5-6 years.  I have been with my fiance for 7 years (and we just got engaged 5 months ago), so that is the only thing that's been frustrating, telling people we have been together for this long and are still not married, and explaining that it's because we were so young when we started dating.  Other than that, young (first) love is beautiful and it is amazing if you can keep it for the rest of your life.

Answer 17

your 16 .. I promise there are more important things , i dated my high school sweet heart for 4 years from 16-20 only to find out she was cheating on me .. Wait till you grow up  , I know that sounds lame but seriously .. what can it hurt ?

Answer 18

You both still have a lot of growing up and maturing to do still.  You don't know what you want to do in the future, where you want to live, how many kids (if any) you want to have, and I'm sure you haven't discussed things like who will handle finances, etc., because at 16, you don't think of that stuff.

Believe me, it's much better to be in your 20s, and even better to be out of college, before you get married.  You will have a much more mature outlook on life.

Answer 19

Just enjoy the time you guys have now and don't rush into marriage.

My "first love" and I would always talk about getting married, too, but we broke up after two years because we grew apart, and we were 20. People continue to mature and grow all their lives,but people do the most of it when up until their early to mid 20s. Now I'm engaged to a man who I know I'll get along with forever because I've had time to figure myself out, what my priorities are, etc. Things change drastically from high school and even college. I thought I had the world figured out when I was 16, even at 20 :) But I changed a lot and got some perspective.

So just enjoy the love you guys have now, take things slow and see where it goes.

Answer 20

well i see a lot of highschool sweet hearts having a happy life together!

all relationships take work more so when you go to college and he goes to collage ect... getting jobs and comprizing the both offers from what you  both will recieve!

so yeah if you BOTH want it to work it will!

Answer 21

Even though you may believe "love is all you need," it's wayyy more complicated than that.

If you get married, naturally, you'll have s*x. Where will you do it? You need a place of your own. Who will provide it? Are your parents willing to buy a place for you? If you're living on your own, you need to purchase your own groceries, have your own furniture, etc.

I'm assuming you both are in school right now.. can you afford to miss school to plan a wedding and be away on your honey moon?? and what if you get pregnant? can you handle a baby (which leads to $$ for diapers, milk, etc) AND possibly going to college?

and on top of all this, can your boyfriend stay faithful and survive the stress and responsibilities of being the head of a household and get a job that provides a steady income?

There are SO many questions to answer. My advice is this: take your time. DO NOT rush into ANYTHING. Think realistically and reasonably. Love takes a lot of work.

Answer 22

Dont worry about it right now. Just enjoy this time together. And dont worry about statistics. Your relationship is unique, and if you can learn and grow together then you will know if he is right for you to marry or not. Grow up together for a few more years. I met my fiancee when I was 16 and I have planned on marrying him ever since but I am glad I have dated him for 4 years first because I was just reading letters we wrote to each other when I was 16 and I was amazed by how much we have changed. you dont think you are going to change but you will.

If you are truly compatable you will change together and support each other and become stronger as a couple. Right now just enjoy being young and in love, and dont rush anything.  

Answer 23

I think that you will deeply regret this move if you marry before you are in your twenties.  You are way too young and the chances are great that as you continue to grow and mature you will grow apart and be very different persons than you are today.  If this is true love that is meant to be then waiting a few more years will not make one bit of difference.  If you do feel differently next year which I think you will, it will be a sad story if you are already married.  Better to find out before rather than after.  Marriage takes more than most 16 year olds are even capable of understanding. It is not just about how much you are in  lust/love with him  There is much more to consider in choosing a mate that you hope will be for life

Answer 24

everyone else is right.

i was a high school sweetheart story myself and recently broke up about 2 weeks ago. we became different people after going through high school and college. now that we're trying to start our careers and support ourselves, we found out how different we had become since we were 15.

enjoy everything for what it is now. if your meant to be, it will happen i promise!

Answer 25

just make sure u really luv him and he really luvs u. most ppl marry their high school sweethearts. but maybe yall should wait until yall get out of high school and can support each other and have ur own place

Answer 26

slow things down! you both have to live your lives before settling.