Mature answers only please. What should I do about my "relationship"?

Question

First of all my dad is g*y. and many people believe that means that I am as well... I don't feel like I am, and I know its not true in all cases because my sister is married.

Anyways I am 21, and I just got in a relationship with a girl for the first time, and she is ugly by any guy's standards, but I really want a relationship with a girl so badly that I have been trying to be the nice guy I know I am and look past the face and try to love her for her personality, but she doesn't arouse my intellect either...

I haven't seen her in a month and a half and we only started really dating maybe 2 months ago...and we haven't had s*x. So she texts me a couple days ago and asks is it okay with me if she dates another girl also. and that it may make things more "interesting" and I told her I don't have a problem if she does however If she prefers her to me then don't let me stand in her way and be with her instead of me...

So she tells me no she wants to be with me too.. so I tell her that if me and her or both of them or me and this other girl end up doing something together won't the odd person out get jealous...

Anyways I guess my real question is what should I do... I really don't want to ruin my chances with her since for all I know it could be my last relationship considering my lack of confidence in asking out girls, and yet If I can figure out how to be more confident, I'd much rather find a girl who is atleast a little bit more attractive and/or is much more similar to me....also if you think I can find this supposed other girl, how should I break up with this girl I am seeing now before hand... since I don't want to start looking for other woman while I am still technically in a relationship.

any and all questions and comments appreciated. you can also email me at [e-mail] or [e-mail]

Answer 1

I would usually NEVER say this but IMO you should dump her...

Answer 2

Break up with her in you don't feel anything for her. Don't settle.

Stop worrying and stressing. Then when you least expect it, some girl will come sweep you off your feet. Really. Love tends to come when you least ask for it.

Answer 3

Really, instead of asking that question here, just seek professional help!  

Answer 4

You can't make yourself love someone it just doesn't work that way. It will never last. This girl seems to want to play around still and not be serious if she wants another girl. Break up with this girl and don't give up on finding real love, because real love that reciprocated is the best thing in the world. Don't sell yourself too short either, at least you care enough to ask. Join a singles site go out more you will find someone you really want. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

NEVER SAY THAT YOUR FIRST RELATIONSHIP IS THE LAST ONE OR COULD BE THE LAST ONE... GOD DOESN'T LET GO OF YOU UNTIL HE BLESSES YOU WITH THE SUMONE SPECIAL.. THERES ALWAYS A SUMONE FOR EVERYONE AND SOON YOU WILL FIND YOUR.. BUT I DN'T ITS YOUR GIRL RYTE NOW.. SO JUS BREAK IT EASY WITH HER AN LET HER KNO U CAN STYLL BE HERE FOR HER IF SHE NEEDS YOU AN THAT YOU CAN B GUD FRND BUT U DN'T THINK THIS WILL GO ON FOR MUCH LONGER.... AND GO FIND SUMONE UP TO YOUR STANDARS..

Answer 6

Well, I suppose finding some more inner confidence would probably be the best.  Just don't worry about it, be yourself.  If you see a girl you like, start talking to her, ask her if she wants to maybe do something sometime.  If that doesn't work, then don't let it get you down, there is plenty of people out there.  And if you chose to break up with your current girlfriend, just say that you don't think it's going to work out and that it would be better if you just ended it now.  After all, if you really aren't clicking, it probably is better to end it now.

Now, if you do really like this girl you're with, and think you can find things you have in common and make new hobbies together, than awesome.

I hoped that helps you out.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

I'd dump her.  You basically have said you have no reason to keep her around (you don't like her looks, her intellect, etc) and now she wants to be in an open relationship with you while she explores her sexuality.  She is only going to hurt you.  The fact she won't have s*x with you yet wants to date a woman suggests to me that she may know or suspect that she leans more towards liking women but wants to have you as a cover for her parents, friends, etc.  I'm sure you will find other girls (or guys if that turns out to be the way you lean).  Leave this girl, she is playing around on you and not really interested in a relationship with you - plus you don't like her for anything other than saying you are with a girl and may get to have s*x.  

Answer 8

Hi Adam,

Don't let what your Dad does affect you.... and go ahead and break up with this girl, she is going to cause nothing but trouble for you. You have to get rid of her, in order for that special someone to come into your life...You are just 21 years old, take it easy and don't fall for this...find someone that wants to be with just  you. As the saying goes " When one door closes, another one opens" good luck!

Answer 9

That's a little messed up, this whole situation. I think you need to just get yourself out of it. Just because your dad is g*y, doesn't mean that you will be g*y. It's not a genetic thing. It's like people who have no desire to date/get married, but have really happily married parents. If you are in this relationship and you don't want to be, get out. DO NOT SETTLE! You will be miserable for the rest of your life, although it seems like this girl isn't too into your relationship either. Get out, go to clubs/social events that you are interested in and meet girls that have your same interests and I bet you'll find someone for you!

Answer 10

so it sounds like your just trying to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. maybe to even prove your not g*y? you dont need to prove you sexuality to anyone becuase it shouldnt concern them.

you dont even really like this girl, so why are you with her? you havent seen her in a month and a half out of the 2 months you have been with her? this is not a real relationship. and her wanting to be with a girl aswell as you is not normal and should not be accepted. its the same as someone dating two guys at once. would you allow that? tell her that its one or the other and she cant have the best of both worlds. try and use this as a way to break up with her, and if she still doesnt want to break up with you tell her its jsut not working.

you think shes ugly.....wow, thats a big statment to make. not average, not plain,, but UGLY?? there needs to be somewhat a bit of attraction in any relationship.

dont stress about this being your only chance at a relationship, theres plenty more fish out in the sea, and when you find a real woman that you want to be with you will realise how much of a joke that this relationship your in now really is. just be patient. love comes when you stop looking for it. dont be with this chick jsut for the sake of it and coz shes there. hope i helped and put it into perspective for you. i dont mean to be mean XD just dont sell yourself short and settle for less

Answer 11

Ok seriously hun, I say you leave her.

Any girl that's willing to be in a relationshiop with another person, is not fully committed to you.

You need to dump her and keep looking for someone else.

If it helps, try finding people over the computer.

It helps because you don't have to actually approach the girl, and she can get to know the real you, without you being all shy on her. =D

Trust me this girl is not for you.

You don't even get to see her.

You can do better.

I know you can.  

Answer 12

I think you should find someone that you actually like to be around.  You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone and if you don't feel it, you are not being fair to her either.  Cut her loose and keep looking!

Answer 13

if she really doesnt arrouse your intellect or body mabey you should end it. but if your just in it for the s*x maybe the other girl might be hott :P who knows what could happen

Answer 14

hmmm.....

the idea of her seeing someone else is kinda funny...thinking that a girl would "spice" it up. you are in a a relationship with her not because u want to but because u want a relationship...(not a good choice)

u got me wondering how good looking u r...lol

[e-mail]

Answer 15

look first of all you are not in love and that is one reason why you need to tell her you are done. second shes going with a woman oh well then Let  her be. you are not interested in that threesome bit. yes it can get jealousy can be hard and the girls will probably be that way. you why in the world are so up tight about having ugly or whatever girlfriend. i am sure you are nice looking and i am sure you could date whom ever you wanted if you would go and do something but you are afraid i am not sure why. its easy just get to know someone and move on and talk to them and get to know them and ask them out. its simple and you can do it all other guys do this. you don't' have to stand for whatever you need to find who you are interested in and she i n  your and move on and be happy take care.

Answer 16

This is about your belief that this is your last chance for the rest of your life. So you rationalize settling for crumbs from a girl you don't even like. My answer is: NO. Do not ever settle for crumbs and don't settle, period. Get out of this relationship immediately. It's too weird and the boundaries are unhealthy. Please have faith that life has a lot more in store for you, and that you will become far more confident in a year or two. Get out of this mess and then decide on what your standards are for a relationship.

Answer 17

I think it is ridiculous to stay with someone that you are not attracted to on any level. It will not bring you any happiness in your life, and it could ruin your chances with another girl who you would find attractive. And this girl doesn't find your companionship enough for her, so she is seeking out another woman to have a relationship with.

I think the first thing you should do is break it off with the unattractive bisexual woman. She obviously doesn't love you enough to be devoted to you. YOU DESERVE MUCH MORE THAN THAT. You deserve someone who loves you and doesn't want anyone else. Beleive me, there is someone.

Never have a relationship just so you can be in a relationship. That doesn't make anyone happy. To meet someone new, take some guy friends out to a bar or do something fun and meet girls! If you are sincere and genuinely interested in them, they won't be able to not be attracted to you! That's just how we are! The worst thing that could happen by approaching a girl is that she will say "no", and that only means she's not worth it. Remember that.

I don't beleive you should give up a chance for true happiness just because you're afraid to try. NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GAINED.

I wish you the best of luck! :)

Answer 18

Why would you go out with someone you don't even like so much? Let her go, there's got to be others...

Answer 19

oK LISTEN TO ME. She likes girls. you are better than that. If you want to meet some one try some place like match.com. My aunt found her huband on there. Find someone who loves you for who you are.BREAK-UP with her. Please take my advise.

Answer 20

I like that your not being shallow and even admitting that your girl is'nt that attractive.But i personally think that it;s totally disrespectfull to go to your lover and say oh hey i found this girl i like and i wanna date both of you.and hey your right i mean say she starts having s*x with this girl and you havent even got any yet or she has s*x with you i mean someones bound to get jelous in the end.If i were you i would sit her down and tell her what you really feel i men if your cool with then i guess you should go along with it but then again if your not then you should really say something i  mean theres ton of girls out ther despite the fact that you really dont talk to them much.

Answer 21

baby you are gonna have the chance that all men want to have a threesome ,go for it and act like a mature man that you are besides about your dad ,he is your dad and love him no matter what he is ,and don't worry about your friends or somebody say they don't pay your bills ,if your girl want to be with another girl wow that is what all men fantasies  

Answer 22

Does she also acknowledge herself as your gf? If not, then I encourage you to keep looking. Try online dating. Without the fear of face-to-face contact, it allows you to be yourself and comfortable. Take as much time as you need until you're ready to meet that person.

There are billions of people in the world, you shouldn't have to settle!

Answer 23

If you really arent into this girl, then why are you even considering being with her?  It sounds like you are just settling.

Maybe you need to be single right now, and get some confidence built up, then pursue women who you really want to be with.  It really isnt fair to her either...if you really arent fully into her.

Let her go your way, and you go yours.

How to break up with her?  Be honest.  Tell her that you dont really think you guys are working out, but you want to remain friends.  If it makes her mad, then that is something she will just have to get over.  

Answer 24

You'd be better off being single as opposed to dating someone out of desperation.  You can't enjoy the fun parts of being in a relationship if you're involved with someone who you're unattracted to physically and mentally.

Answer 25

How old are you? Really, this is a strange question but everyone is not the same. I think you should wait until you find someone you actually love. There are a lot of people in the world that are not beautiful but that does not stop people meeting and falling in love. It goes beyond looks. You need to join some social groups, like hobbies, dancing, theatre, anywhere where you can interact with a mix of people, then you will have the confidence to enter a proper relationship.Not one of sufference and making do. Good Luck