Mature readers only?

Question

What would you think/do? You were talking to a shy, quiet, college girl that you always thought was sort of strange & you wanted her to open up to you. After years of trying, she tells you she was raped 2x when she was 14.

Answer 1

If it bothers her, which is sounds like it does, just tell her it's not her fault and comfort her and remind her it's in the past.

Answer 2

Give her whatever support she needs to move on with life.  Move slowly and carefully so that she can grow to trust you.  Don't pry into it, but let her talk as she feels it necessary. She may have a lot of lasting scars from this, and she may be very uncomfortable in situations which remind her of the circumstances of the rape.  

You might also look at what materials there are on rape recovery.  They may help you work out how to deal with it.

Answer 3

OK She finally did open up to you.

Now treat her in accordance with the trust that she's shown you.

Show that you don't feel that she's responsible for, or 'soiled' by it.

Understand her feelings if you can. If you can't, admit it, but show sympathy if she needs it.

She might be reaching out to you, and it probably isn't easy for her.

Be very careful.

Answer 4

show her that she is safe and that its okay that sheshould talk to a psychiatrist

Answer 5

You cannot diminish the impact of these two events on her psyche.  I would mention just once that she is the victim of a criminal.  Just like a man may be mugged and brutalized by the savages who prey on people who they think are physically weaker than them.  This is not s*x.  It an unwarranted attack.  Of course, living by a eastern world ethic, I would seek and destroy the rapist.  It would be my purpose to live.   Forgiveness is a western view of  ethical behavior that is not consistent with what I think is a just action.   Extermination of the rapist.