Question:

May I ask for your opinion please?

by  |  earlier

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An event I submitted some twelve months ago. I dug it out of the vault and now resubmit it with some needed changes.

The Kiss.

He sat down to his usual morning

coffee, at the same café he had

used for more years than he cared

to remember.

She was sitting at a corner table

near the window. A beam of red

light shone through one of the

large letters of Café Lé Bon Bon

embossed on the window.

It sought her out; spotlighting

her b*****s blood red against

the whiteness of her blouse.

He averted his gaze and looked

at a face that was still attractive.

A face that spoke no words, but

radiated volumes.

There was a look of remembered

events upon her flushed cheeks,

confirmed by the slightest of smiles

on her red glossed lips.

He guest her age to be that of

about forty. Her figure, somewhat

to plumpness, but attractively so.

It was a desirable plumpness.

Smartly dressed in business

costume of charcoal gray pin stripe,

the jacket unbuttoned for comfort.

Sensible shoes drew attention

to her still shapely ankles.

She was aware that other eyes

were looking at her; eyes hidden

behind newspapers or raised

empty cups.

The bell above the café door

jangled. The woman looked to

see who had entered, and her

smile increased.

Their kiss lasted longer than

mere friendship; and in that

kiss it was all said.

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4 ANSWERS


  1. A good romantic narrative, one that seems to tell more than one story, including one that has gone before that does not bear repetition.  I liked it.  Love does not always involve the young and the model-beautiful well coiffed girls.  It can involve the mature woman whose years have made her more earthly-beautiful and whose charms are as real as imagined.

    We all age, and most of us age well.


  2. It is always fun to fantasize about people. Who they are, what they do, what they are like.  Then to see the conclusion gives the observer the final resolution to the questions.  This is well said, enjoyable to read, picturesque, and also has a touch of melancholy to me.  My compliments.

  3. I don't really like it. It doesn't seem original to me.  

  4. I really enjoy your narrative poetry and I have learned much.  You have wise eyes and words to match.  Thank you!

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