May I humbly request an objective opinion of my poeticking skills?

Question

I'm told I'm pretty good but I'm always suspicious of praise from people who know and love me, and whom may be concerned that a negative answer might lead to them having to sit through more poetry.

To be in love

and love to be,

though simple in design,

is rather quite a luxury

to hearts that are inclined

to love and let all reason

fall to obscurity

until loves ripest season

reveals so painfully

that while it's flesh may tender be

it's thorn does bar it well,

and while it's sight is heavenly

it's absent touch is h**l.

Tho' I've been suffered, torn and tried

by love's undying pain

I'll greet h**l for it's warmth if I

should never love again.

It's about falling for a str8 guy. <sigh>. LoL

Answer 1

Poem&#039;s fine...but get help for the gayness.

(And there should be an apostrophe in line 8&#039;s love&#039;s.)

Well, that thumbs down surely never came from the writer because he&#039;s now a fan of mine. In case he&#039;s wondering why his poem, which is surely worthy of wider consideration than mine alone, has only received one answer (so far), it&#039;s because the so-called &#039;experts&#039; of the poetry clique are too busy patting each other on the back with sycophantic praise to look beyond their own circle. I don&#039;t normally give stars, but I&#039;m going to on this occasion to try and draw some attention to it.

I shouldn&#039;t have to, &#039;though, because it&#039;s worthy of attention on its own merits. Needs a little polish, perhaps, but a nice little effort.

And ckaleb111...just in case you&#039;re in any doubt...my motto is &#039;exit only, no entry&#039;. (Hee, hee.)

Whaddya make of that? I discover a great talent (well, I got here first, didn&#039;t I?) and get 2 (so far) thumbs down for being a pioneer, while all the &#039;Johnny-come-lates&#039; give themselves a thumbs up. That&#039;s the last straw! I&#039;m writing to Capitol Hill! Jenny, give that thumb of yours a rest. I bet you thumb down at the mere sight of my name before you&#039;ve even read my comments.

Answer 2

I think your &quot;poeticking skills&quot; are very good. I am not one to offer critique, I am a beginner myself...but I found nothing wrong with this poem. I think it is beautifully written. I particularly like the following lines...lovely writing!

&quot;that while it&#039;s flesh may tender be

it&#039;s thorn does bar it well,

and while it&#039;s sight is heavenly

it&#039;s absent touch is h**l.&quot;

Answer 3

I like this poem, it is as light as a feather, while it speaks of the

bitter/sweet of love, very clever.

Answer 4

Be suspicious no more although I do not have the critique of every metered beat, I can honestly say this is nicely written and an easy read with lines that do shine!

Cheers!