May Someone Please Grade this SAT Essay? (1 out of 6) Thanks!

Question

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.

Since we live in a global society, surely we should view ourselves as citizens of the whole world. But instead, people choose to identify and associate with smaller and more familiar groups. People think of themselves as belonging to families, nations, cultures, and generations—or as belonging to smaller groups whose members share ideas, views, or common experiences. All of these kinds of groups may offer people a feeling of security but also prevent them from learning or experiencing anything new.

Assignment:

Is there any value for people to belong only to a group or groups with which they have something in common? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Answer 1

turn it in its perfect

boring

long

i dont know what the topic is but it will prolly pass

Answer 2

The SAT grading requirements are kind of BS. There have been studies done that show that the longer the essay is, the higher the grade. Big words always help, too. The graders don't read your essays very long, just enough to find mistakes and to get the jist of your topic.

And just a suggestion, try not to use contractions, and I'm kind of uneasy about the first paragraph. It doesn't really cite any proof. Spell out numbers (a hundred, fifteen).

Because you've stuck with one train of thought and the essay is seemingly long, I'd say a 5 on this one.

Answer 3

1

Answer 4

You are a fairly good writer, and this is a great starting point. However, you would at most score a 3 on this essay.

Reason: you do not state enough specific examples, but instead only offer general ideas as support for your claim. Also, your style is a bit too wordy and occasionally redundant.

In the first paragraph, where you discuss your dojo, you would need to provide illustration of what you mean by "we are family." What is it, specifically, that you do together/share together/say to each other that makes you feel as though you are part of a family? Perhaps consider examples of things you do with your actual family that you also do with your dojo family.

The same procedure should be followed for each of your points, so that you are communicating realities instead of simply generalities.

On a more micro level, your grammar seems fine, but could use some improvement here and there. In P2, you say: "Those people will come together, form a group, and learn that he or she..." Your subjects do not match/are not parallel.

Also, you'll want to improve your style. Focus on tightening your prose (use fewer words/sentences) so that you are more clearly communicating your points.  In P3, you say: "Two heads is (*grammar*!) better than one, and Holmes and Watson helped each other in solving the case. What one man couldn't think of the other did." While not wrong, per se, this is a fairly wordy way of communicating your point. Make an effort to have every word count, rather than just being a part of your word count. Each sentence should communicate something unique or be tied directly to supporting a previous or following statement. Look for ways to coordinate sentences (so, because, as a result of, whereas, moreoever). These connecting words can improve your style immeasureably and ensure you that 5 or 6 score you're after.

Good luck and keep writing!

Answer 5

In your thesis statement you refer to the size of groups. This is not what the prompt refers to and has nothing to do with it. Be careful to stay on the point of the prompt.