May move far for work, girlfriend will stay at home?

Question

Well, I've started to look for a new job. I moved into this area two years ago and have been very miserable. While I am trying to find something close, I am really wanting to find a job back in the Midwest, nearer to where my family is.

Problem is, that I have a girl that I plan to marry here. This wouldn't be too much of a problem, but she does not believe in cohabitation because of her religious beliefs and lives with her parents. She's 26, I'm 31 and we currently live in Virginia. She's about all I have out here, otherwise, I feel like this place is killing me.

I'm looking at a job in Missouri and she doesn't like it. I'm trying to make her understand, but I don't think she gets it. I really want to make things work, but at the same time, I have to get paid more and need to be somewhere I can feel comfortable.

Since I'm potentially moving 14 hours away, I'm wondering what I can do to make this relationship work. She is working on a masters degree and says she would look for a job in the same city as me. I just wonder how we can keep things going until then and what may make it easier.

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Answer 2

it probably won't work.  look if you're meant to be with this person then there's no harm in taking time off so you can get a better job and move out of town, and she can finish school.  in the future you may end up together but if not, c'est la vie.  but don't kill yourself trying to make a long distance relationship work since she obviously isn't willing to compromise.  well she probably doesn't have much choice since she's in school, she can't just pick up and move to MO with you now.   you both should take a break and keep in touch but if you move, definitely have an agreement to see other ppl

Answer 3

you both will need a lot of patience to get through this. Chances are if shes busy with school she just wants to finish that before moving up to Missouri. If shes ok with you going to Missouri while she goes to school in the other state than do so. Try to see and talk to each other when you have time. It's not going to be easy. Just trust each other.  

Answer 4

Hmm... this is tough - I personally don't believe in relocating your life for anyone unless you are married (or about to be) definitely not for BF or GF...  But my question for you to ask yourself - you are miserable where you are and she is all you have...  Is that why you are with her or do you truly love her?  If you really love her you could suck it up for another year and move when she is finished with her masters.  But if she doesn't seems so good because compared to the rest of your life she is amazing.... well then I say just run to the midwest and don't look back.

Answer 5

ok i hear what you are saying...

it is hard to move away from someone and leave them behind... i will tell you a lil about my situation...

I'm from australia... and my husband to be is from chicago... that is 18 hours away by plane! total different countries... we have been together for around 3 years and we are not living in the same country yet...

he couldn't come to australia to live with me cause he had to go to school he would visit me when he was on winter break that's 2 weeks  he really wanted to come here... i understood that he is going to school and looking forward to his future to make a great future for us... he is doing what he has to do for us... and we did visit each other... i flew there for a few months at a time and he flew to australia to see me and he came here for 2 - 3 weeks at a time...

we talk on-line everyday, we call each other, we leave messages for each other on face book and yahoo 360... so we always have communication going.... that was the key for us... keep communication a big priority...

since then he finished college and also got a job in chicago

we still talk on-line and have mini dates on-line... we do the best we can for each other... he sends me flowers, we send each other cards and letters... the attention doesn't go away we love to make each other feel special....

now we are engaged and are getting married in november this year... and i am moving there this october...

that space between me and my man lasted just over 3 and a half years.... you can do it....

so didn't fret you can both visit each other and talk to one another for free on-line and see each other through cams ,,, also call each other....

seriously i wish i was only 14 hours away in the same country man you have it made!.... you can drive to see her

if she can see you still making the effort and she still makes the effort and you both love each other you wont have a problem... trust one another and communicate....  you will be ok

good luck to the both of you