May the best joke win..

Question

can you think of a joke that'll get you 10 points?if so,please post it

Answer 1

MILEY CYRUS IS A GOOD SINGER!!

lol, that makes me laugh every time :}

Answer 2

Why did the blondes want to sit in the first row of the theater? Because they wanted to see the movie first.

or

Three men were on a plane and one had an apple, one had a pear, and one had a bomb. The plane started to have problems because it was carrying too much stuff so they tossed out some stuff including the bomb, the apple, and the peach. After this, a guy was driving around and saw a little boy crying. He stopped the car and asked the little boy why he was crying. The little boy said that a pear fell out of the sky, hit his puppy, and killed it.The man gave him a new puppy and went on driving. Next he came to a little girl who was crying. He stopped and asked why she was crying. She said that an apple fell out of the sky, hit her kitten on the head, and killed it. The man gave her a new kitten and went on driving. He then came to a blonde who was laughing hysterically and asked what was so funny. She said that she farted and blew up a building.

or

One day a blonde went to get her hair done. When she got there, the lady said she would have to take her headphones off. The blonde refused to do so and said she would die if she took them off. The hairdresser finally wrestled the headphones off of the blonde and went to work on her hair. When she finished, the blonde was dead. She quickly called the cops to come investigate. They found the tape(that was still playing) and it was saying "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Answer 3

http://www.fl5708.blogspot.com/

Answer 4

Why did the ghost cross the road?

He didn't, he got hit by a truck.

Answer 5

A little boy and his grandfather go fishing. The grandfather pulls out a cigareette and the boy asks, "Grampa, can I have one?" He says "can your d**k touch her ***" and then grandson replies no. His grandfather says "there's your answer" Then he pulls out a beer. Again, the kid asks if he can have one. He asks, "can your d**k touch your ***?" and he says no. "There's your answer" Then the grandfather stops at the store and gets a scratch ticket on the way home. The kid asks for one, and he figures what the h**l, and lets him scratch one. The kid ends up winning $5,000. The grandfather asks, "Can I have that?" and the kid goes, "can your d**k touch your ***?" The grandfather, figuring he can outsmart the kid, says yes. "Then go **** yourself" says the grandson :) Haha, I thought it was funny when my friend told me :)

Answer 6

go be a blonde. you'll get plenty of laughs out of that

Answer 7

An engineer dies and is standing at the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter took a quick look in the book of life and failing to see the engineer’s name, cast him down into h**l.

After a few weeks in h**l the engineer began to get frustrated with the poor living conditions. He set to work and soon had designed air conditioning, reclining chairs, microwaves, and televisions. Everyone in h**l was enjoying the new inventions of the engineer when God looked down one day.

Needless to say, God was upset that the living conditions in h**l had improved, so he called to Satan saying “What’s going on down there? How did you get a hold of all that stuff?”

Satan Replied smugly, “We’ve got ourselves an engineer.”

God angrily said “What! How did you get an engineer? There must be some mistake. I want that engineer back immediately.”

Satan animatedly refused saying “NO way, we like him and we’re keeping him.”

God said “Oh yeah, well he’s rightfully mine and if you don’t give him back I’m going to sue you.”

Satan responded “Oh yeah, and just where do you think YOU are going to find a lawyer?”

Answer 8

yo mama so dumb she thinks masterbation is a karate teacher!

Answer 9

This insults me.. but oh well

Brunette:   I was listening to eminem last night

Blonde    :   You were listening to CANDY??? D;

AND ANOTHER

One day a blonde went to get her hair done. When she got there, the lady said she would have to take her headphones off. The blonde refused to do so and said she would die if she took them off. The hairdresser finally wrestled the headphones off of the blonde and went to work on her hair. When she finished, the blonde was dead. She quickly called the cops to come investigate. They found the tape(that was still playing) and it was saying "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

AND ANOTHER

Why did the blondes want to sit in the first row of the theater? Because they wanted to see the movie first.

Answer 10

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he

entered it in the race again, and it won again.



The local paper read: PASTOR'S *** OUT FRONT.



The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he

ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another

race.



The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES

PASTOR'S ***.



This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to

get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted

the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST *** IN TOWN.



The bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to

get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.



The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS *** FOR $10.



This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun

to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it

could run wild.



The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER *** IS WILD

AND FREE.



The bishop was buried the next day.



The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about

public opinion can bring you much grief and misery. . .

even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's *** and

you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Have a nice day!

Answer 11

No Speaka de English?

A bus stops and 2 Irish men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation that seems to be English.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first. Den Oi come. Den two asses come together. Oi come once a more! Two asses, they come together again. Oi come again and pee twice. Then Oi come one lasta time."

The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed s*x obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly. "In this country. We don't speak aloud in public places about our s*x lives.

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'abouta s*x? Oi 'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi."

$5.00 says you're gonna read this again!!!

Answer 12

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

Answer 13

Ok so 3 men are abandoned on a deserted island as there plane crashed there. they miss there families alot. one day a genie appears and says do you want to see your families? they all said yes yes! estatically. the genie said each of you go into the jungle and collect 10 of a fruit and come back to me then i'll tell you what to do.

So the first man comes back with 10 apples the genie says stick them up your butt with out making a facial expression or a sound and you can go home if you don't i'll kill you. on the 3rd apple he winced and was killed.

The second man came back with 10 grapes and on the 9th grape up his butt he started laughing and was killed.

In heaven the first man said to the second man WHY DID YOU LAUGH!? you could've got back to your family!

the second man said.. i saw the 3rd man coming with pineapples.