Me Ex is cramming my son's step mom down my throat - what to do?

Question

My Ex remarried almost 2 years ago to a young mother of 3. I was actually pleased with his choice, she was a daycare supervisor AND a Mom, so I felt releived in who my son's step-mom was going to be. But, the two of them have taken the stance of "we will raise (my son) anyway we want and without you- leave us alone - you have nothing to say about it" and have been defiant and polar and spiteful towards me since. She lost my 5 yr old child while on vacation and didn't inform me (I found out from my son months later and confirmed with my Ex it was true, furthermore he blames the child for getting lost and the SM blames me if you can believe that, they went behind my back and without my knowledge nor consent to my son's pediatrician and stated they're concerned about my sons behavior is due to 'his mother's excessive drinking during pregnancy' (SO UNTRUE!) and obtained forms to have my sons preschool teacher and kindergarten teachers fill out - all w/o my knowledge! She took my son who had been sick for two days and nights to the swiming pool just becuase I told my Ex to not let him go swimming. She refuses to clip my sons nails becuase I asked, but will cut her own childrens right in front of my son. They are on a vindictive mission, and now he is dictating to me that the SM will be present at Parent Teacher conferences, 1st Grade open house/meet the teacher, at ADD evaluation doctor appts. (pediatrician says it's not FAS (DUH) but will explore the possiblility of ADD and was not made aware by the ex that my son was tested for being gifted!) My son is very intuitive, so being in the same room w/ all the friction between me and the Ex/SM is not unoticed by him, albeit I have the freindliest game face and tone there is while he is present. Is it normal for a step parent to be present at parent teacher conferences? Is there anything more I can do to protect my son from getting caught in the middle of a volitile situation? Does a step parent have the right to be present or can I say she is not welcome?

Answer 1

step parent has no rights but you might need to get a lawyer to protect yours.

Answer 2

It Sounds to me that this step mom your son has is just being a plan ***** if that was me she wouldn't have anything to do with my child and as far as the father goes he just plain dumb or just doesn't give a ****. no man in there right mind would let some lady treat there child the way he lets her treat your son. The next time she miss treats your child i think you should report her ASAP and make that each and everytime that way if you do take them to court you will have a better chance

Answer 3

Wow, 3 adults and they are all wrong at the same time.

You were right when you said that your son is intuitive - Kids pick up on everything. They know when you are mad. He feels trapped in the middle when you guys fight over him.

Step mothers rights - SHE HAS NONE. If the boy were hurt and you and your husband were not there SHE could not make any decisions because she is not family. Unless, she is given permission in writing.

A step parent's job is to treat the child right when they are around. To not say bad things about either parent and not to cause more problems.

A Mother's responsibility is to get along with the father and step mother so her child does not get stressed from adult c**p.

A Fathers responsibility is to get along with the mother and step father.

Everyone has the responsibility of making sure the children have a happy and healthy life. To put their own ugly drama aside for the sake of the child.

Shame on everyone involved that refuses to do that. I feel for your son. He is stuck with all of you.

Answer 4

Technically, the step parent has no rights at all when it comes to the child you and your ex made.  I'd suggest you take them to Court for custody.