Me and my dad have a very poor relationship..?

Question

All through my life (sense 2-13) My dad has pretty much never spent any time with me. He was always drinking at the bars all night and comes home drunk and fights with me and my mom. My mom fells so bad and has tryed telling him to spend more time with me to help our relationship and stuff but he said he dosent want to spend any time with me.. and sometimes i feel as though my dad dosent like me. Anyway now he stopped drinking and wants to come back into my life.. but its so hard letting him in cause hes never been there for me as a kid. What should i do? Should i try to let him in my life again? How do i explain to him how i feel? please help!!

Answer 1

Your feelings are valid.  It appeared that he had an alcoholic problem and with that the family suffered.  The most important years when you really needed both your parents, particularly your father (2 years to 13 years) were neglected. Now that he wants to come back into your life, you may feel angry.  You have a right to be apprehensive, but for your own future emotional healing you owe it to yourself albeit in "baby steps" to see if he has indeed changed.  If so, in a timely fashion build a relationship with him by recognizing his shortcomings in the past (or even now),  and forgive him.  It's kind of weird, but I you wish not to relive your past in your future, you must have resolution.  

Answer 2

well im just the opposite of you. im 14 and i have a very close relationship with my father. its my mother that im not that close with. i mean she's here but she missed a big chunk of my life. and one thing i learned through this is that she's my mother and i do still love her.  now really the choice is yours and i completely understand the fear of letting him in and then getting hurt again. but here's what i think. i think everyone deserves a second chance. especially our parents. if you decide to let him in, tell him exactly what you feel. how he hurt you before and that this is his only chance to get it right. if he hurts you again then you have to do what you have to do to protect your own feelings, even if it means letting him go. but i think you should try and start to build your relationship with him. you might need him sometime. and you gotta start somewhere. i did with my mom when she came back.

Answer 3

My friend if some one realize the mistake and they want a chance to be given then its al fine to give a chance, but in ur case its ur dad so give him a chance. if he really changed then its gud for ur family or if he start doing same thing then leave him forever. so kindly give him a chance.

Answer 4

Well, its up to you.  If you don't want to you don't want to.  If you want to you want to.  You need to be firm about it too.  The best advice I can give you is that you try and move on and to dwell in the past.  He says he wants to get to know you and be involved in your life? I say do it. He is your father, no matter what you can NEVER hate him, NEVER.  He is in you blood, bones, and heart.  There will always be a something there holding it together, even if completely not talking.  Give him another chance is my recommendation.  But like I said its up to you,  I hope you make the right choice.