Me n my adopted mum?

Question

me and my mum ave so much in common but shes not my real mum i dont no y tho

Answer 1

First of all, she is your "real mom", to imply that she is not "real" means she does not exist, nor has taken it upon herself to raise you, give you love, etc.  Just because she is not your "Birthmother", does not mean she is not your mother.  Families are formed in many ways. God has a plan for everyone, and his special plan for you, was for your mother to raise you.  Think of the positive, the things you have in common, etc., you'll soon realize that you are in the right place.

Answer 2

Your real mom is the one that raised you.  Why should it be shocking that you have similarities with her assuming she has raised you most of your life.  I had a teacher in high school both she and her brother were adopted. She told the class that she was just like her mom and her brother was very similar to their dad, we were on a subject about family.  Not to say that adoptees don’t have some similarities behaviors of their biological parents, but they can certainly gain similarities by the people who raise them, you can see Nurture over nature.

Answer 3

I'm quite fond of my adoptive mom too

Answer 4

Have you thought about searching for your natural mother?  Sounds like you might have a lot of questions, a lot of needs that can only be met by knowing the person/people who created you and share your biology...and who wouldn't?

I would suggest doing everything you can to find her.  It is such an empowering and rewarding experience, to know the people we came from.  Non-adopted people take it for granted and will tell you to be grateful, that your adopters are your REAL family, bla bla bla, but being adopted can leave an empty space within us that only reunion can hope to fill.

When I met my real family, I discovered that I am exactly the same as my natural father...right down to our love of Tolkien and cats, we both listen to public radio daily, we are both dramatic people, we are both very private in our daily lives.

It is quite uncanny.

I hope you can find your family and find some peace and some closure for yourself, you know you are not being a traitor or ungrateful for wanting to know your true biology.  It is is your RIGHT to know.

Good luck!

Answer 5

You have a birth mother. She gave you life. You have a Mom who gave and gives you love. She is there for you. You have blessed her as she has blessed you. Bless your birth mother for making a family.

The adoption Creed

Not Flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone but still miraculously my own; Never forget for a single minute You didn't grow under my heart but in it.

Answer 6

I think it is lovely that you get on with your amom, but I don't see a question here.

Answer 7

SHE IS YOUR REAL MOTHER! so you did not come out of her...that doesnt mean anything! She loves you and has cared for you. Shes your family please dont think anything else!

Answer 8

Sigh... why do children have to traitors?

Answer 9

she raised you and she's your mother, that's why you have so much in common.

Answer 10

Yes, she is your real mom. She CHOSE you, loves and knows you.

Having things in common is great, but even best friends don't have " everything" in common. So..you're super lucky!

I consider adopted children to be the luckiest, they were chosen, wanted and treasured.

Answer 11

I have a lot in common with my next door neighbor. It's all just "luck of the draw."

The notion that you have a lot in common because she CHOSE YOU is delusional fantasy. Adoptors CHOOSE to raise someone else's child. It doesn't matter which one, they end up getting who they get.

The flip side to what previous poster was saying is adoptees are stolen, coveted, and owned......

allow me to explain; there is a very real sense of being stolen from our mothers because they are often in vulnerable positions and convinced or coerced into beliveing they belong with someone better off than her. Often our mothers' struggle could have been of a temporary nature if given a little support.

Coveted...should really need no explanation, look how desperate some people are to get a baby, I can't count how may have even been soliciting for moms on Yahoo....

Owned....because the "powers that be" (adoptors, large agencies like gladney...) lobby to keep our birth records sealed to deny us  the opportunity to know our REAL families.

I'm glad you're enjoying having stuff in common with your amom....but it might just be that is the personality you have formed because it's the envirenment you are around.