Meddling Fiancees Best Friend?

Question

My fiancee's best friend (since they were very young) is always meddling in our relationship. She's always asking my fiancee questions about our relationship to see how things are going. It's to the point where I think she purposely tries to cause friction between my fiancee and I. Every time we get into an argument, my fiancee always runs to her, they go out, they jab on the phone, etc. etc. When things are great with my fiancee, the best friend is always complaining that she doesn't get enough time and that my fiancee avoids her. My fiancee says that she feels like she has to choose or make equal amount of time for the both of us. I feel like its maybe time for the best friend to step into the background. The best friend boyfriend is in jail , so she is practically single right now and wanting her ol' running dog! I feel like she is just lonely and unhappy herself and likes causing friction in our relationship. I know its important to have friends, but I feel like its not friendship motivated. They talk and msg on the phone all day (seriously 10-20 times a day), so its not like they dint communicate and they occasionally go out. Am I making something into nothing, or is their a legitimate gripe on my part? I feel like she is trying to ruin my relationship with fiancee to satisfy her needs.

Answer 1

I think the problem sounds a little bigger than you are letting on. If your fiance has that much time to talk to her friend perhaps it's because your not taking the time to meet her needs. Women enjoy conversation and most women are happy to replace their best friends with their fiance's, providing the fiancee meets her needs. If you want to lose her super quickly, ask her to choose between the two of you. A real friend would never expect that and perhaps this is why you arent seen as a real friend to your fiance. It also sounds like there are some underlying issues of control. Perhaps your fiance feels torn becuase of how you feel about her friend. Are you always complaining about her or expecting her to do what her friend does... do you say things like... "She cheats so you will too?" Perhaps you need to let your fiancee be her own person ...  

Answer 2

tell your fiancee what you have basically said here. she needs to tell her best friend to back off.

I used to have a problem like this with my best friend. she was always trying to break up me and my fiance. I don't see her anymore.

it comes down to who your fiancee loves more. you or the best friend.

It should be you. you are her fiance afterall.

but i would not be putting up with that "best friend"

Answer 3

You have to talk to your fiancee what is she after. She may just be kind to help her best friend get over  her problems. Your fiancee may use your relationship as example..and she took it in the wrong way. Ask your fiancee to restore your relationship..despite of her best friend agony.

Answer 4

Your gripe is definetely legitimate. The BFF is JEALOUS, big-time. And yes, she wants her best friend to be "single" with her. If your fiancee wasn't engaged to you and didn't have a boyfriend, believe me, they wouldn't communicate nearly as much. I'm sorry, but if what you described isn't adequate "girl time" for the two of them, then that friend is definetely trying to mess things up. And she probably keeps asking about how your relationship is going because she's hoping that it won't be going so well one day.

If you have a single friend that you think would like her, hook 'em up. See if they hit it off. If she's got a distraction she won't cause so much friction between the two of you. Otherwise you might just have to tell your fiancee how you feel about things. Tell her that you're not trying to be a jerk and you definetely don't mind the two of spending time together and being friends, but enough is enough!

Answer 5

she probably is because she's miserable. Misery loves company.

I think this should be a "her or me" situation... give your fiancee an ultimatium.