Meeting 7 Year Old Step Daughter for the first time, I need help!!?

Question

I will be meeting my soon-to be step daughter in a week. I am scared. I don't have kids, but I have one on the way. I don't know what to think. I know that things are never going to be the same between me and my soon-to be husband. His daughter does not know anything about me, my name or that I am going to be giving birth the her sister. My mind is racing about everything. I don't know if she will like me, how she will react if she see's me. Can you help me?

Answer 1

Ok your husband needs to sit his daughter down and tell her about you. I find it weird that you guys got married and are expecting a child yourselves, and he has not even had the deceny to mention this to his little girl. Prior to her coming over have things preparded; talk to your husband and see what her hobbies are; rent some dvd's that she will like, pick up some coloring books, art activities etc, so that it will make her feel more comfortobale and so she won't get board easily.Regardless, just be yourself when you meet her, don't try to be something she's not, and don't take on an authroity role, she will react badly to it. When she first comes in the door, walk up to her and get down on her level, put your hand out and say " Hi my name is_______  I have heard so many nice things about you, its good to finally meet you" Then let her come to you, belive me she's a little kid and she will have plenty of questions to ask. Just answer them at a honest kid appropriate level, if she asks something that you feel is too much, then nicely tell her that you can't answer that. You need to let your husband explain to her that you guys are married and are expecting a child, if your the one to tell her this she will end up resenting her father for not being honest. Just tell her things about yourself, such as what your favourite color is, your favourite tv show, movie, board game, where your from, what kind of food you like. Make sure when she does this you ask her in return the same thing she asked you, that way you get to know about her as well. Just be calm, and be yourself and you will be surprised how great things go.

Answer 2

just be yourself i am sure you will be fine if she is not sure of you dont push  just give her time to adjust

Answer 3

Well, you have a week - why can't her dad tell her about you now, instead of giving her a huge shock and suddenly landing her with you?

I mean, poor kid...she has no idea this is going to happen to her, and she's only seven. I really think she should be given time to get used to the idea. If this means her dad telling her this weekend and you staying away from him until the next time he looks after her then I would do that. Maybe he can show her a picture of you, and talk to her about you and what you might have in common (maybe not a lot with a seven year old, but she might feel better if she thinks of you as a human being who doesn't like green clothes and loves chocolate chip cookies). And I would definitely push the "her sister" idea. Most seven year old girls absolutely love the idea of having their own baby to look after.

Answer 4

Be yourself.  Be very interested in her and the things that she says.  Ask your fiance about the things that she likes ahead of time (ex, hannah montana, etc).

Answer 5

You're marrying someone and you've never even met his daughter?  Congrats on the pregnancy, but maybe you're moving a bit too fast with the commitment.

In any case...just be yourself.  7 year olds are not jaded little beings who are going to eyeball and judge you. More likely than not she'll be excited about the proposition of another sibling. Relax!

Answer 6

wow! I think it was a bad idea not to tell her anything before this point. That fact will most likely be a very bad thing. the best thing to do is not be over affectionate with her father in front of her at first. Don't be pushy as far the talking goes let her lead the way. And try to make it clear that you are not trying to take her mothers place.

Answer 7

First your fiance needs to tell his daughter about you before she comes to visit.  This little girl is coming to see her dad and is going to be expecting it to be the same as always with the two of them and then she is going to get blindsided with a new step mom to be and a future sister.  that will be  a lot for a child to grasp and could also lead to her resenting you before she even gets to know you.  he may want to hold off on all of the details but she needs to know about you and the relationship before she arrives.  As far as getting to know her goes, kids are smart and they can tell when someone really likes them and when they are pretending to like them.  Be yourself, don't act anyway that you do not normally act unless you entend to be that way for the rest of her life.  Spend time with her but also allow her one on one time with her dad as well.  Take your cues from her.  If she wants to talk then talk but if she distances herself then allow her space but let her know you are there if she wants to talk.  find out some of her likes and learn about them so you will have common ground to talk about.  Let her be involved in the planning for her sister etc.  Be honest with her let her know you love her father but you never want to take her place and she will always be a part of the family the two of you are starting and not you or the new baby is replacing her.  Good luck to you all.

Answer 8

Congrats on your baby! Not to sound like I'm downing anybody, but your soon to be husband really should of told his daughter about you. She should of been aware of you so it won't be such a bomb shell being dropped on her. Try to relax as hard as that maybe. Just be yourself and I really wish you all luck.