Meeting my Japanese girlfriends parents for the first time. What to do?

Question

I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year she lives in Japan and I in the US. Finally I will have the opportunity to meet with her parents. Other than the obvious - be respectful, polite, friendly, bring a gift, etc. What are some formalities, customs, sayings that I should adhere to?

Also, I want to say "Sorry I am not Japanese but I will take care of your daughter" in Japanese. Can someone translate in Romaji?

thanks in advance!

Answer 1

This will help you a great deal, it will be all you need to know, Good luck!

As a gaijin (foreigner) you won't be expected to know all of the local customs and probably won't offend anyone with your lack of Japanese social graces. Any effort you make to fit in will be appreciated, so keep the following customs in mind.

Gift Giving

When invited to a Japanese home, be it that of a friend or an official homestay, it is customary to bring a gift, or omiyage. We suggest bringing some small

trinkets, like key chains or baseball caps, from home for this purpose. Gift-giving plays an important role in Japanese culture, so make sure you have something on hand in case you receive an unexpected gift and want to reciprocate. It's also customary to bring back souvenirs for friends and colleagues when you go out of town.make sure it's from the region you visited—your friends will notice if it's not!

Bowing

The bow is firmly embedded in Japanese culture. You will become used to it after only a short time in Japan. The Japanese bow when they meet and part from one another (when Westerners would use a handshake), to express gratitude, to show deference to superiors, and in many other social situations. The type of bow depends on the relationship and social or professional ranking of the people involved. As a foreigner and newcomer to Japanese culture, you will be exempt from strict bowing etiquette, but the more you assimilate the better.

Removing Shoes

You will be expected to remove your shoes upon entering many Japanese buildings, including homes and even some English schools. The reason is more practical than traditional, since it helps to keep the inside clean. You may be provided with slippers, but they must not leave the house and they must be removed before walking on tatami mats. Be sure that you are wearing presentable socks!

Eating and Drinking

You will catch on quickly to the subtleties involved with eating and drinking in Japan. If you have never used chopsticks, start practicing immediately. Using chopsticks is fairly straightforward. Remember that upon finishing your meal, you must place your chopsticks across your dish or on the side, and never place your chopsticks in your bowl or standing up in your rice. This is done only at funerals, so to do it at any other time is considered disrespectful.

If you go out for drinks with friends or colleagues, you will notice that each person takes turns filling the other's glass. It is considered rude to fill your own glass except when you are among good friends. You might also notice that your glass will be continuously filled even if you say "no, thank you." Leave your glass full once you have had enough to drink. It's customary to split the bill evenly among everyone at the table, no matter how much you've had to drink or eat.

Before eating or drinking, it is customary to say "Itadakimasu." This term, roughly translated, means "good eating to you, I am starting to eat." It is considered rude to start a meal without saying "Itadakimasu."

Bathing

Bathing in Japan verges on ritual—especially when compared with "showering" or "taking a bath," as it is generally understood in Western countries. It is important to pay special attention to this custom if you are living with a Japanese family or if you use the public baths. Washing yourself is only a prelude to taking a bath. Japanese begin by soaping and scrubbing before entering the tub (where you will find a shower-like apparatus or a faucet and a wash tub). The bath, or ofuro, is used only for soaking—the most relaxing part and the heart of the bathing ritual. Every evening, after getting squeaky clean, you can sit and relax neck-deep in very hot water. Do not put soap or bubble bath in the ofuro.

Answer 2

Try to use as much slang as possible. They love that down there. Also when you meet them - kiss the father on the lips and pinch mothers buttom. Its a old custom.  

Answer 3

"Sorry I am not Japanese but I will take care of your daughter"

That is just a stupid thing to say... It makes you seem like you think interracial dating is some taboo thing that should be hush-hush.  

Answer 4

1. let them make the first move always. dont sit down until they sit down first. dont pick up the spoon or chop sticks until they do first.

2. dont mention the atomic bombs or japanese whaling stuff.

3. cover your tattoos so they dont think your yakuza.

4. dont say sorry your not japanese because that is just ridiculous

5. bow when you see them.