Men, Does it upset you when woman say that you have no choice concerning abortion?

Question

Both partners had a choice to have s*x and both are going to live with the consequences of the decisions made, men have to pay child support for the children. Men love thier children too and for the most part want to be involved in thier lives, so why should it be assumed that they have no say in the abortion debate?

By the way, thier has been many questions for the pro choice crowd to get thier ra ras in, this question isn't for the "my body my choice" crowd.

Thanks,

Answer 1

Since no man has ever died from childbirth, it seems to me that his say should be diminished in the decision.  It is not wholly a decision based on the fact that women can do what they want with their own bdies, but it is definitely one that is based on risk to the woman.  If am man is willing to put his health and life on the table to have a child, then the say might be even, but that's not happening anytime soon.

In the meantime, life ain't fair.  It may not seem fair to you that a man doesn't get to make the call about whether the woman has a child or whether he pays support, but it also ain't fair that women have to put their own lives on the line to give birth.  That's the world.  It isn't fair.

****Your premise is that it's not fair that men don't get a say in the decision.  You're arguing for equal rights, in a situation where the rights and the risks aren't equal.

Answer 2

ultimately it's the womans choice, rather or not you like it. she's the one who has to be pregnant. btw, what about instances of rape? are you implying a woman should have to ask her rapists premission? that's just sick.

Answer 3

It does take two....course the males participation in the whole thing is pretty limited and the fun part.  (pouting jk)

Morally there is no question here....of course the woman should consider the man's feeling and talk to him about it.  Even if it was just a one night stand.

Legally..."I've said it before" I see the problem but I dont see a solution that is fair and workable.  The make the man sign papers...is to easy to fake(that doesnt help) the let the man have an easy out card, I think in the long run will have a negitive impact on fathers rights in other area's like custody cases.

Answer 4

Some women use harsh language on the subject, some use gentle language. But to get down to brass tacks, though she should certainly consult with the father of the child about the decision, it is her decision and will always have to be her decision. It's the hand biology dealt the human race.

Answer 5

What do you do with the woman that had s*x with a different man every night for 45 days -- Do you have a group meeting to decide?

She is the one who will undergo the pregnancy and birth- and the chance that it will be major surgery is growing.    C-sections are now too common.

Answer 6

Sorry, men don't get to make decisions concerning their future.

You are expected to work quietly and provide for others. If you try to step outside of this role, then you are a sexist.

Answer 7

It's shows the hypocrisy of the feminist/abortion argument well.  They claim to want equality between the sexes, but only as far as it benefits THEM.  They'll gladly accept half the s*x, but if a pregnancy happens they want ALL the control and NONE of the shared-responsibility.  They want full control to be able to say what happens to the man's half of the baby or the man's wallet.

Girls, if you want the keep the kid, then you give up all claim to paternity money.  The man never gets a say whether he wants the kid or not.  You can't have it BOTH ways depending on your mood at the moment.  Grow up.

Answer 8

Uh, you think that no one who believes a woman has the right to have control over her body should answer this question?

So you're posting it only in order to get a lot of "answers" that tell you you're right.

The fact is, the pregnant person is the MOST effected by the pregnancy. She has all of the consequences you list, AND it's her body that's pregnant.

To say that everyone on the planet EXCEPT the person most effected should have a say is just wrong.

I'm not saying "my body my choice" I'm saying it's the right of the pregnant person to decide; other people do not have the right to make the pregnant person's decisions for them.

Yes, biology is unfair in this way.

However, the majority of Americans accepts that it should be up to the pregnant person to decide.

Deal with it.

Answer 9

You mean when I am treated like a Sub Human? With no Rights. Women have rights and no Responsibilities when it comes to Reproduction. They literally hold all the cards. Men have two choices Silence, or Prison if they don't pay Child Support. Yet last time I looked it took both genders to create a child. Men cannot opt out of Fatherhood. And Women admit on numerous surveys at least half that they would lie to get pregnant over their Male Partner's wishes if that is what They, the Women want.

How is that equality? It is a Matriarchy. Where Men are reduced to Wage Slaves with no voice, choice, or say in their own Reproduction issues. The other major factor here is the rampant Paternity Fraud. Men have a right to know if the children they are paying for are theirs. And if not they should have the choice to elect to NOT PAY, for another Man's Child. Since the Woman made a choice to have s*x outside of their marriage relationship, and to conceive another Man's baby.

Men should be able to opt out of paying for a Child if they legally renounce their Parental Rights. And we have minimal say and massive interference in visitation and access to our children in Divorce. Family Courts do not enforce visitation. You can look at Kim Bassinger for a prime example. She has violated at least 12 Judges Orders. Her own Mother has sided with Alex Baldwin on Kim's interference with their Daughter's visits.

Answer 10

Yep...

The whole "my body my choice" just don't fly with me. It may be your body, but it is my child so I should have just as much say.

Women can't get pregnant all by themselves. It take both in order to have a child, so men should have just as much say.

Answer 11

It does concern me.  I am not for total ban on abortions.  I only want a legal scrutiny of abortions.  And I do demand the biological father should also have the right to file for abortion of a fetus created by his sperm and the abortion is to be carried out if he win the case in the court of law.  (Judicial system find enough medical or ethical reason to agree to with his demand for abortion)

I should be able file suit to get a fetus aborted because I think It will be totally inconvenient for me to have a kid now, as I am a college student.  Let the courts decide whether it is to be granted.

Answer 12

hey...the day that men get morning sickness, stretch marks and take a s*** the size of a watermelon, their opinion on the issue will matter...'til then ...

but...at the same time..I dont think that men should be forced to pay for kids that they didnt want that the woman could have aborted if she wanted. forced child support should be done away with

Answer 13

I think that if you're the father and would be financially and emotionally supporting the child, wholly or partially, then it would be crazy to have NO CHOICE.

But, to me, it's kind of 49.9999%. I'm not going to be the one walking around with a parasite in my torso for 9-10 months.

If the father is not really going to be involved in parenting, then it's not his call.

I don't think anyone has mentioned another possible situation - what if the mother was on the pill and then secretly stopped taking it? My aunt pulled that trick on my cousin's stepfather when my cousin was about 12. In that case, they were already happily married and caring for one child. Fortunately, he quickly changed his mind about not wanting to have another kid, and now has a good relationship with his son. But some women do this just to entrap their partners. What do you do then?

Answer 14

No, it does not upset me if and when a woman says such a thing to me.

I am pro-choice.  I am not proud of the fact that some women have, with my agreement, terminated a few births, and we should not use abortion as birth control.  Most women were more concerned with keeping me in their life, and they were not ready for children.  Nor was I.

However, if they were to approach me in that manner and with that tone, I assure you that I would have nothing to do with HER.  The baby I would support.  Her, is another matter.

Answer 15

Since I know I'm not sexually active and will only have s*x and possibly will want to have a child ALONG WITH MY WIFE, then I'm get very upset when women say that stupid phrase.  I'm not saying that we decide for them but if I'm her husband, then I'd love to feel like I had something to do with that child.  That's my wife giving birth to our child and then banning me from ever playing with the child, talking with the child, and most importantly, caring for the child.  It's also my responsiblity to and I think it would be better for the relationship if she also had my happiness in mind as well as her happiness.  

But yes, I don't mind women who say, "It's my body, my choice".  Yes, I think many guys got your boastful point, but we don't want to make the decision for you or tell you how to run your bodies you idiots :P. We just want to know that the feelings of the both parties are being considered when it is a healthy marriage (meaning no rape, no sicknesses, no affairs, nothing abnormal in a marriage or a long term partnership--Common Law--.)

Answer 16

I think that both partners should decide together.

Answer 17

I'm sure it upsets men to be told they have no choice....no one likes to accept a situation in which they have zero power.

In an ideal world, the woman would discuss her feelings openly with the man who impregnated her, and she would give his feelings significant consideration in her decision.

What's NOT ideal about our world, is that people are engaging in s*x with partners with whom they would NEVER consider suitable parents for their offspring.    Young people are having s*x without truly understanding the potential consequences...that s*x makes babies...sometimes even when you have tried to prevent it.  

Maybe the solution is for everyone to be a little more selective in choosing a s*x partner, and choosing when to have s*x.  There is nothing wrong with saving it for the right time and the right person.

Answer 18

Yeah - well my ra-ra which wasn't even a rant got DELETED yesterday - thank YOU! I thought it was a good question asking about belief systems and the fact that people who are what they are on this issues AREN'T going to change their minds, and it got deleted when I got back from exercising.

THHHHHPT!

Some women don't use their bodies for FUN - perhaps they really love that person they are having s*x with and something happens. I had a friend who was on the pill and used condoms and she got pregnant, and wasn't ready so she had an abortion.

I think men should have a say too, and I know some guys who didn't want a kid when their girl got pregnant and paid for their abortions. Many men aren't ready either, and more go with abortion than you think.

WHY does anyone else have to be involved with a decision that is personal besides the two that got themselves there?

Answer 19

I completely agree with you!  This my body, my choice stuff is complete BS.  The baby is half his, and there is actually a whole third person and their body who ought to have a say, as well.

Don't want to be pregnant, ladies?  Don't have s*x.  It's a no-brainer.

Answer 20

But you are not going to have to live with the consequences of the decisions made, that is incorrect, only the woman has to live with the physical consequences of the decision made :-)

Answer 21

I will not play a human incubator for ANYONE. Period. I will induce a miscarriage, overdose on drugs, commit suicide, but NOT be a prisoner in my OWN body. Don't you get it? You can find a way to grow that fetus somewhere OUTSIDE ME, & I will gladly let you have whatever you want. Pregnancy is not a ride in the park, and I will decide if I go through it or not. Yes, I made the choice to have s*x, and I'm going to face the consequences by solving them in the way I think is right for me. If you are pro-life, you need to take the necessary steps and make sure no fetus of yours is ever aborted by using a condom, getting a vasectomy, talking to the lady involved. Its as simple as that: Don'y have s*x with someone who you are incompatible with on the abortion arena. You can't have your cake and eat it too you know.

I do agree that men having to reluctantly pay child support is unfair. Protest on that. Not on what goes on inside me.

Answer 22

It's ridiculous.  If a woman made a baby completely by herself then she MIGHT have an argument.  But since a man IS involved he certainly should have a say.

Answer 23

I have a friend whose girlfriend aborted his child even though he so desperately wanted to be a daddy and wanted to love his child. She pretty much told him that she would do whatever she wanted and aborted the baby. She later left him, but he still has an ultrasound picture that he keeps with him. He is still crushed by it. I believe men should have more say in what happens to their children.

Why the thumbs down? Have you no sympathy for a man mourning over a lost baby and the lost opportunity to be a father?

Answer 24

The only reason it bothers me is because men are shamed and insulted if they even suggest that they want to opt out of parenthood.

Women?

Their reasons for "needing" the abortion are supposed to hold more water than a man's reason.

Do men also have career hopes that would be put aside for a baby?

Do men have financial restrictions that make children nearly impossible to afford?

...But men's reasons for wishing to opt out of parenthood don't matter to society.

Only women's do.

Only women can legally opt out.

It's one of the greatest injustices in modern times and luckily men are fighting that slanted system.

If the 14th amendment is to be upheld, it' time to give men the right to opt out of parenthood.

The women that claim "my body, my choice" do not want the "my responsibility" that goes with that.

They only claim ownership when it benefits them.

Men are tired of that, too.

Answer 25

I TOTALLY agree with you. And I am definitely pro-life! My boyfriend is pro-choice.. but he knows and accepts the fact that I would never get an abortion.

Oh.. and yeah.. I'm not a man.. but I wanted to put my input in. Thanks. :)

Answer 26

h**l YES it pisses me off.  It's her body, so the final decision lies with her, but she certainly should consider the mans feelings on the matter, as he is deeply involved.  A woman that takes a "my way or the highway" attitude toward this is extremely selfish, and frankly this would be grounds for kicking her to the curb.