Men, relationships and their Mothers....?

Question

This is something I've wondered about for a long time, what's the deal with men who allow their Mothers to control them to the point it interferes with their relationships, even marriages for the few of these types that manage to get married? I'm talking about men over the age of 20 as those under the age of 20 are basically still kids. What causes men to be such mama's boys that they let her rule them and interfere with even the intimate areas of their lives?

Did the Mother's warp them as children? Or what?

Answer 1

maybe they're the same sort of dudes who let their wives control them.  and i suppose you've never heard of chicks who can't go a day without calling their mothers a half dozen times or who can never make a decision without asking their parents first.

Answer 2

From a few tales told by past school mates it causes serious problems. I knew of one who separated from her husband because of such an issue; when they got back together she gave him an ultimatum, "Your mother or me."  What was going on there is that every time they had a row he would go crying to his mommy; old habits are hard to beat. Well, anyways; his sister told my school mate before they got married not to marry him, "He's a mom ma's boy..." Sure enough after my school mate married him she found out his sister was right.

Oh and one more thing my nephew-in-law holds every day 2 hour conversations with his mom telling her everything and I do mean EVERYTHING that's going on in his life.  This one definitely warped him, because from what I hear she controls the whole family.

Answer 3

You know, as the last of 3 brothers at 17, I feel this.

I'm attending a state college, so I'm probably gonna be living at home until I'm 19.

While I haven't had a girlfriend yet, if God-forbid, I mention some girl's name during conversation..mom immediately becames skeptical and possessive.

Luckily I live with both parents so my father evens it out.

But if i was living with my mom alone..heck i don't even think i'd have had a date for high school prom.

Answer 4

Men like this don`t choose this, it is enforced upon them everyday they lived at home. These mothers never allow privacy in the bedroom or bathroom they have full control over them.These men can`t easily change they know know different but if there partner loves them they can help them change. How do I know?I used to be one.

Answer 5

You know a british female author, don't know her name, wrote warning young girls about to elope?

If your man doesn't respect his mother, he will not respect you either.

May be she was just saying them to choose men who respect any woman close enough like mother and wife.

Anyways, why do you care? Is your bf's mom interfering with your controll of him?

To tracey: In your definition of "control" , a wife's control lasts so long as her beauty and body lasts. Say, mid 30s? After that, its laziness that prevents a man from going away, from such control that is.

Answer 6

I'ts the same as daddy's girls :P

It just means that wither the guy is extremely insecure or yes, his mom has the guy controlled like a baby since always.

This really isn't a political problem o anything, just a familiar/personality disorder that dunno if it should go here.....

Answer 7

Honestly I have no clue.  My husband is the youngest of 4 and defiantly closest to his parents.  However he never would have married me if he didn't think I would get a long with them.  His parents are the kindest people, so one would have to be a real b*tch not to get along with them.

I suppose not all relationship are like this though.  Most people have a lot of respect for and dedication to their parents, I suppose when one they fall in love with clashes with this the seas turn troubled.

Answer 8

I know some guys like that. I am so lucky to have a husband who is independent. He is no mamma's boy, but he loves her just the same. If he had to choose, he'd choose me.

Answer 9

In the patriarchy, the only way a woman can have power is through her son.  So these women are adverse to giving up control over a man - a person with power.  They don't control their husbands, but they can control their sons, and through that control, they receive a modicum of power.  The mothers need to let their sons go and live their own lives, and make their own families.

For every "Momma's boy" there is a mother who can't let the boy grow up.

Answer 10

What causes this is the same thing that causes women, who are raised in a home/society where men control everything, to act timid and inferior. The kinds of women where the men, or fathers make the daughters feel inferior, weak, useless, and always having to answer to the man. They even suppress/belittle the daughters mothers in front fo trhe daughters.

Well, today more so than ever before in the U.S. we have mothers who treat their sons in similar ways. Now many young boys are raised in circumstances where their mother does everything for them, doesn't let the boys develope as mature, full functioning men who can absolutely take care of themselves. Some women belittle their already timid husbands in front of their sons. What you have when they grow up, are useless momma's boys who's only way to change is to be strong enough to finally go against most of what their mothers have taught them, and to truly think for their selves.

Answer 11

It's almost like "Daddy's girls" right? :P.

Seriously though, I think those type of men are mama's boys because they simply don't wish to disappoint their mothers.  And many times, boys and/or men don't know about how a woman thinks or about the actions of a woman so they may turn to the only woman that they can personally trust to answer that, which is their mother.  

Also, lack of female interaction may have a hand in it as well, which is the point I made in the last statement.  Admittedly, these men  may love their mother's so much that they will fall in love with the IDEA of their mother in another woman.  (Hence the phrase, "...just like my mom").

The blame for this may not fall on just the mother's as well (as many father's are great parents to their daughters, yet hard on their sons.)  Lack of compassion for children from the father's side may have a hand in that, which would eventually lead to the son flocking to "Mommy"...(especially in a single parent family)

I suppose the control you refer to comes from almost completely loyality to their mother's I suppose.  I mean really..Who wants to hurt the feelings of a good parent, you know?  Maybe the mother is totally overemotional and feels that she will never be a part of her son's life if and/or when he finds a wife or maybe the son has no confidence in his mother's ability to be without him or something.  Who knows.   People are different