Men, would you prefer a virgin bride?

Question

Are there any men here who would prefer a virgin bride? I was a virgin when I got married to my husband of 15 years and he still loves me and treats me like a princess. I remained a virgin because of Christian values and I never regretted it, although my husband was not a virgin..... I was only 19 years old when we married and he was 30. He was finished with his education and has a stable, well paying job. Some people ask me why I married a man who was not a virgin. They ask if I'm a hypocite or something. My mother once told me "you can never expect a man to be a virgin because men and women are not the same and they are never going to be the same". It is true. I think most men would marry a virgin bride. Most men do like everything to be new and fresh. I don't think many men would buy a used car. They would in necessary situation but they would prefer a totally new one. And most women wouldn't like it if their husband gave them their ex-wife's wedding gifts.

Answer 1

I'm a virgin. I'd like to marry a guy my age who is also a virgin...

I like everything new and fresh.

Answer 2

It's preferable in some ways, but not a requirement. Most people have bought used cars at some point in their lives. I've had crappy used cars, and great used cars, really depends on their condition.

Answer 3

Wow.

"Most men do like everything to be new and fresh. I don't think many men would buy a used car."

A woman is not an object. She is not a car or a wedding gift. She is not "new" or "used". She is a human being, a person, a living mammal as is a man. Her worth is not, by any respectful human being, determined based on her ability to conform to patronizing "new vs. used" views.

Answer 4

I would not be comfortable marrying a virgin. This is because a virgin usually has a great idea of what s*x is, but does not know even the basics. It is not pleasurable to me to "teach" someone. I like an equal rather than a student or a puppy. Virgins tend to act as either one.

Similarly, I see women who have had s*x as stronger women because they understand physical pleasure and are happy to experience things. I am very appreciative when a woman tells me what she likes and I don't need to fumble like an idiot trying to find her particular button.

Edit @ Stepford Wife: Seeing as you were both virgins and assuming you never cheated, you really don't have a clue (no offense). A woman can do a lot during s*x rather than just let the man take control. Sometimes, its a lot more fun when the woman takes control.

Answer 5

I'd prefer it, but it's not a requirement.  I do expect her to not be sexually active while we're together, and if she's ever been sexually active I want her to have tests to make sure she doesn't have any diseases.

Answer 6

Speaking for my husband, yes. He and I were both virgins when we married. I was 18 and he was 20. For a men, who are possessive, why would they naturally want something that has already been used by other men. I do not look down on people who have already had s*x, but I think that remaining pure until marriage is best. As for the "inexperienced" arguement, when you are in love, it comes naturally.

EDIT @ Maxben: How hard is s*x for a woman anyway? No very hard. Ever woman starts out as a virgin, you get better through time. She's gotta start somewhere.

EDIT @ Maxben: Obviously there is a lot more, but you assume that the simple act of s*x of boring. Your expectations are way too high if you think that s*x in it's simplest of forms is a bore. I was merely stating that s*x isn't hard to figure out. And no, my husband and I don't have "boring s*x". You just think that having threesomes is exciting. It isn't, it's adultry.

Also, if you find a woman who wants to wait until marriage to have s*x, you'll be so ready to have s*x with her your wedding night that you will think she's a s*x goddess.

Answer 7

Not necessarily. I mean I dont plan on having s*x with 20 50 people in my lifetime and I mean if shes had her sexual experiences thats great we can talk about stories and discuss what we like.

I dont think I could be with a girl who has had s*x with like 20 30 people tho. But virginal bride is def not a most. Might be a disadvantage because not sure if were physically compatible..

Answer 8

You are going around in circles.

Answer 9

While I respect where you have come from, I was not a virgin when I met my current fiance (I was engaged previously, so it was a serious commitment), and he still treats me like a princess, and I am certain he does not think of me as a "used car".

Watch how you say things, not everyone shares your beliefs, and people take offence.

Hey Colonel Reb, do YOU have tests to make sure YOU aren't disease riddled?

Answer 10

At my age (23), and certainly by the age of marriage (around 25-35), I would consider virginity to be a negative attribute.

When we're teenagers, virginity can be cute, because it's fun to expose people to exciting new things they've never done before.  But as we get more mature, we start to value equal maturity in our partners over the novelty of naivety.  

In addition to being experienced enough with s*x to know what she likes and what men typically like, I also prefer my girlfriends to have been in a few relationships before, so she has both some confidence to be assertive and independent, and some idea of what she's looking for.

Naivety is cute.  But with marriage, development and maturity are more important than being cute.

Answer 11

I was about as far from virgin as you can get when I married my husband.  I had numerous sexual partners as a young woman, due in the main to a serious self esteem issue, although I am pleased to be able to say that my first time at least was with a lovely, lovely boy who I had been dating seriously for some time.  My husband knew me back then, as we were best friends before we hooked up, and he knows all about my past issues.  Since then I've wised up, grown up, and "seen the light" if you will. He has had far less sexual partners than me, but it doesn't bother him, because he loves me and I love him.  In an ideal world he says that while he would prefer my history to have been less colourful, he recognises it for what it is - a series of mistakes through a difficult time in my life.  He doesn't however wish that I was a virgin when we married, as he feels that it's important to live a little first and get things out of your system, for women as well as men.  I don't agree on the comment that men and women are different and you can't expect a man to stay a virgin.  Men and women both have urges and desires - it's just as hard for a woman to resist lust as it is for a man.

I do think that this opinion works for some and not for others, and if a couple want to save themselves for their wedding night, I think that's such a wonderful thing to have.  Imagine being able to say your one true love really is just that.  I sometimes wish that I could turn the clock back but in reality I guess I wouldn't be the person I am today without my past experiences.

Answer 12

I know this question was meant to be for men, but I was very amazed by your question. I'm 23 years of age and I am waiting for marriage. I also come from a christian family and my culture is very strict about this whole waiting for marriage thing. I was reading the other answers and it's ok, everyone has their own view of things. But, for that one person who said he'd rather a non-virgin because he sees her as someone who is strong?...Um, ok. I think us non-virgins are strong, because we don't succumb to temptation and we value ourselves. So you're trying to tell me that if you fell in love with a girl and she was a virgin, you wouldn't love her enough to 'teach' her? And you know what, it's not about 'teaching'..it's about loving that person and everything else after that comes NATURALLY. You should'nt see it as a job. I've heard some guys say 'oh it's like buying a car, how are you going to know if you like it unless you give it a test drive' and another one goes and says that if a girl isn't a virgin prior to marriage then she's a ****. My point is, you do what you want. I am waiting for marriage and I don't care what men think or say.

And I don't think you're a hypocrite at all sweety for marrying your husband even though he wasn't a virgin like you. And your mom is right...Moms are always right :)

EDIT: S Class, I LOVE your answer

Answer 13

yes .the bible say it is a sin other wise but if 2 peps love each other then it will not matter

Answer 14

I don't think I understand the logic of what your mother said.  Given that most men who get married are heterosexual, if they were having s*x before marriage, then just as many women had to be doing it too, don't you think?  Unless the men were all just visiting a handfull of prostitutes or something...which I think is also unlikely.

No, I think the difference is that men are more ready to admit having had a few lovers.

Answer 15

no, because then she would always wonder about what its like to be with other guys.

at the same time, i hope that my future bride has not slept with a lot of men.

Answer 16

If I was getting married then it would be out of love, so I would just be pleased to be able to nail her on the wedding night.

Answer 17

Yes I definetly would.  I wouldn't call it a set-in-stone requirement, but I'm even reluctant to date "loose" women who I know have been around the block a few times.  It just reflects on my personal beliefs and morals regarding intimacy.  There are somethings you can only give away once, and I hope that moment will be with the person I stay with for the rest of my life.

EDIT:  Thanks Organic Love : )

Answer 18

Terrifying outlook on life.  I might even buy your explanation about not expecting men to wait for s*x, but if you're really talking about Christian values, he is supposed to be the Christian leader for the family.  If he can't at least attempt to keep sin out of his life, and you are o.k. with that because of his gender, then I feel sorry for you.  For the record, I would not prefer a virgin bride.  ;)

Good luck to you.

P.S.- Don't forget to remind him to have you waxed and polished.

Answer 19

If i lived in heaven i would be married to a virgin. Unfortunately they are hard to find me being in my late 20's.

It is definitely something I and most guy's would prefer. No guy likes to think of another man being with there woman. Just think of the animal world, male animals try to kill any male for messing with there females. Same with human males we want you to ourselves

Answer 20

there's those girls that have participated in sexual foreplay but not intercourse and they still call themselves a virgin,,,sick