Men Deepest Fear: Women will laugh at them?

Question

gavin de becker (The author of The Gift of Fear) says: at core, men are afraid women will laugh at them,while at core, women are afraid men will kill them."

Do you think this is true: that women deepest fear, is if a women reject a man that he will kill her???

I cannot agree with this quote, can anyone clear up what he might mean by this quote

Answer 1

I cannot agree that men fear that women may laugh at them.  This happens reasonably regularly in life.  I think many men fear that they will not be sexually sufficient enough to satisfy his mate and keep her faithful.  Or, they fear that the woman may succeed and dominating him by virtue of her powerful ability to attract him sexually.

I think that it is likely that women fear that a man may hurt them in a moment of intense anger.  But I truly doubt that most fear being murdered by a man due to rejection.

There are a lot of authors out there, and some of them with hair-brained ideas, eager to get published or make a name for themselves.  Perhaps this author is one of them.

Answer 2

The nature of women and men is that women control the strings to a man's desire - to have s*x. Men are inherently born fearful that they will not measure up to a previous sexual partner and therefore the woman or women control the embarrassment factor over men. The worst thing a guy could feel is the rejection (coupled with laughter from women); he loses his sense of "manhood" and his ability to procreate, which is a core reason for being a male of the species. In order to overcome such fears, many men display a bold and frightening attitude or intimidating demeanor - especially toward a woman who would bring him his worst fear (to laugh at him).

Think about this, if it was legal to hurt, maim or kill a woman because she humiliated a man, how often would she laugh at him? How many dead women would there have to be before the idea to stifle such humiliation tactics caught on?

While the author is boldly taking it to the ultimate extreme, there is a lot of subtle behavior that goes on between men and women that suggests that he's not far off in the fundamental reasons that neither activity happens very often.

Answer 3

I don't know about it being the "deepest" fear, but I have been afraid for my life when wanting to end relationships before. These days anything is possible. You should read some of the stories about ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands in the Houston newspapers!