Men: Why do you take offense and become emotionally reactive when I ask what makes a "real" man?

Question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmcPoY3UYY7XXA_91hP6pxjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080806123056AAzQsL1

Why is there resistance to questioning the basis of masculinity?

Answer 1

we fear that you don't believe we are real men..you know like guys that take risk..dare devils and p**n stars..when a woman wants to hurt a guy she will tell him he isnt a man..it hurts our egos..after all we are only human..guys do the same thing..by using hurt full words to women and some guys as well..by calling them slang and folur terms for homosexuals..I dont let it bother me..I can find some thing wrong with every one...

Answer 2

I know, I got the same reaction from women when I asked what makes a "real" woman.  

Answer 3

It's like trying to identify an "ideal woman". It just isn't possible.

  But when I think of the kind of person I want to be; Honor, Integrity,Reason,Courage and Understanding comes to mind

Answer 4

We don't.  We've ALL  been asking that question ourselves ever since we were 7 or 8 years old.

At my advanced age, I've come to the conclusion there is no good answer.  No one can live up to ALL of society's expectations for male behaviour.  So you do what you can and forget the rest.  

Just saw the OP's further details section - let me expand a bit.  For men, we want love, of course, but we are trained to assume that will come with time.  It isn't a particular fear of ours.  Men are conditioned to fear the loss of respect, not just of other men in the pecking order, but of the women we love.

(I know my wife loves me or she would have left, but does she have any respect for me? )  We separate the two,  I'm not sure women do, at least in the same way.

Answer 5

A real man becomes on from being rasied as a child who grows up with more Xy chromosomes than XX chromosomes, and his gender based on his sexual gentalia is classified male. It doesn't mattrer how brave, how strong he is, how masculaine or feminine he becomes, who he marries, what job he does, how emotional and caring, helpful, womanizer or not, what sports he watches, how many fights he gets into, or even the clothes he decides he wants to wear or sexual partner her decides to be with, isn't he still a man?

Answer 6

I think they for i am. so i think that means i am infact a real man since i am real atleast i think i am so hopefully i am or i might not be but then i would not be able to type unless my conciousness is some how tied to the computer.I have to say yes i am a real man As for a definition i would say a male that i true to who they are and what they believe.  

Answer 7

Maybe they're worried that they weren't actually born with a Y chromosome.

Answer 8

Feminists need to stop trying to define masculinity, here, all the time we a hearing feminists talk about men as if they have a direct psychic link, when all they are doing is repeating tired old rhetoric as if it were truth.

IFsome guys are sensitive about this its because they are on the defencive as masculinity has taken quite a bashing over the last few decades.

Answer 9

Because they're insecure.

(as you can tell from the thumbs down)

Answer 10

I dont i think its a question every guy should ask themselves

A real man takes responsibly for his actions even when he stuffs up big time

Looks out for his friends and family

Knows when to use aggression and when not to

Knows never to hit a lady or child no matter what

Admits he needs help when he needs it

Treats their g/f or wife (any female) as an equal

Talk about his feelings if something is depressing him

But thats just what me as a male thinks what a real man should be

Answer 11

The men you are talking about who are so easily offended are a bunch of metrosexuals. "Real men" wouldn't be offended. I would rather pump iron than play video games. When a woman asks me what a real man is, I tell her.  

Answer 12

YOU SHUT UP!!!!!!! YOU SHUT YOUR FILTHY TROLLUP MOUTH!!!!!!!! Just kidding..I have no idea why. I'm a human being myself, I've never gave a rats behind if someone else considered me a real man or not.

Answer 13

Edited:  Lotus, I apologize.  Excellent question.

Our fathers, mothers, teachers, TV, priests, rabbies, coaches, etc taught us how to behave as "men."   Why do we get upset-see my answer below on how over the decades how women and/or the media have asked us to change.

Edited again: Sh*t I just lost my second edited response...great questions and observations by the way.   :)  Yes it does cause problems when we let the other gender define us.  Brilliant.

Yes we need to be ourselves instead of letting the media define us.  Men are not metrosexuals.

Lotus I suspect men live such alien lives compared to women (I'm 47) that neither side can really understand.  And certainly not from a prejudiced side (like feminists or women haters.)

Often I am wrong and don't mean to indicate I know all the answers.  It's a pleasure meeting a real human being like you online.  

You have honor in your voice and steel in your words!  :D  In another time and place, we could of been brother and sister.  Today, in a way, we are forced to be adversaries.  Most good luck to you.

Holy feminist rights Cat woman!  Answer: feminists freak out when we try to define what a "real woman" is.  However

it seems there is a double standard here.

In the 1970s women asked men to respect them so we did.  In the 1980s women asked men to be more sensitive so we got more sensitive.  In the year 2000+ women said men got too soft so the media started showing men with stubble...

Today women want men to be both sensitive and tough...?  Men feel caught in a cluster f*ck...we can't please ya cause you are always changing your mind on how men should behave.

What is a real man?  Our fathers & grandfathers were real men and we are trying to be like them.

Our sons, many kidjacked away from us via unfair laws, are growing up watching TV where males are degraded, kicked, punched, insulted, laughed, sneered at and generally degraded.

My son doesn't play outdoors anymore.  Stuck behind a computer screen, he even doesn't, egad should I say it?  His mother taught him not to like football!  That's like a father teaching his daughter to not like shopping.  Yeah it's not the end of the world.  Not yet.  

Invest in RX companies.  There will be a lot of meds needed. And a very violent future.