Men and abortions, wouldn't this solve your problem?

Question

There's so many questions and answers on here about the 'unfairness' that women can choose to abort or not and the man technically doesn't have any say in the matter. I can understand this, but seeing as the law is the law and it's not going to change...

Would it be in your best interests to just talk to your partner about consequences BEFORE you have s*x??

If you feel so strongly about not wanting kids or are against having an abortion isn't it obvious to talk to your partner about the 'what ifs' before you take the risk? It is afterall a huge thing to most people.

I know there would be cases where people would change their minds afterwards etc but in the majority of cases if you found your views entirely different to the person you were sleeping with then it might make you think about it...

Answer 1

I would be lucky to find any man who's against abortion as much as I am. I want a man who has the same views on abortion and the same values as I do.

When I dated someone a few years ago, I was foolish enough to sleep with him without mentioning the consequences. When my period wasn't coming, I was concerned. He accused me of trapping him and he demanded me to get an abortion right away if I was pregnant. I told him I would not get an abortion. I even said he could escape the responsibility. But since he didn't trust my words and he didn't want to have the risk of paying child support for an unwanted child, he kept me from going to the doctor (to find out if I was pregnant) by dragging me back into my home and trying to cause me to miscarry. While he was punching my stomach, my uncle and my brother came home on time to save me.  

After I went to see a doctor, I was happy that the test turned out negative. So I learned a huge lesson-always talk about the consequences with your partner before having s*x.  

Answer 2

I think if a woman doesn't want a baby she should be able to prevent herself in any instance.  She doesn't have to wait until she gets a child in her stomach than she decides to abort.  Abortion could lead to a lot of future health problems too.  A mature lady should know her cycle.

The both partners should be open to one another.  It's good to ask your partner what if pregnancy occurs, what will he do or the consequences?  Get his view.  If she had a child by mistake (unexpectedly) she can discuss it with her husband whether to abort or not.  Probably, the man might not like abortion or maybe he would love to have a child at that point.  Women should always be a good planner and pay attention to Menstrual Cycle so as to have a good relationship.  Let them avoid mistakes and do it when both agree and learn not to hide.  What if you have an abortion and die, don't you think it will unfair to the man?  

Answer 3

If a man wants to have a say in whether or not I carry his unplanned child, I'll just make sure of one thing: I NEVER have s*x with him.  If he doesn't mention this preference beforehand, and I end up pregnant, then he is the one who didn't take responsibility, and his opinion is about as important as a five year old's at the playground.

Answer 4

You do understand that the Men who feel that abortion is wrong are also the same Men who believe in Abstinence.

Answer 5

Well she can still forget about the pill. Bottom line is, unless you are willing to have kids with that woman do not have s*x outside of a brothel.  

Answer 6

"I can understand this, but seeing as the law is the law and it's not going to change..."

Oh dear! - so, feminists make these type statements on laws and customs benefiting women at the expense of men.. but I'm sure if it was a law benefiting men at the expense of women you wouldn't be sitting there saying 'but, seeing as the law is the law and it's not going to change..'

I agree however, about discussing this beforehand or taking precautions.  I really don't see the purpose of men having unprotected s*x with women, or having s*x with women who aren't on at least 2 forms of birth-control UNLESS you plan on having a kid. It's simply a stupid idea. ... And d**n it guys, stop getting in relationships with these women so young. What's the rush... or the purpose? You see what happens as a result.  

Answer 7

Princess, this would seem like an obvious answer to the problem.

But talking about it and experiencing it are 2 different things. A woman might say, "yes I would get an abortion" or "no I wouldn't", but when she ACTUALLY gets pregnant, that puts a whole new perspective on things.

Point is - When you're actually pregnant you think about things in a completely different light.

Answer 8

I agree, but I also realize this is too idealistic to be possible.  Before engaging in s*x, most men are concerned with little else except *how* and *how soon* they are going to get the s*x they crave.   To think about future consequences is asking too much.  Not because they aren't capable of it, but because they lack the motivation to do so.

Answer 9

Wow, MMardea, you don't have a clue what you're talking about, do you?  First of all, babies do not develop in a woman's stomach, they develop in her uterus.  Second, carrying a pregnancy to term carries even greater risks of future health problems than having an abortion does.  Get your facts straight.  Third, most women's cycles are unpredictable, even into their 20s.  Most women don't even know when exactly to expect their period, let alone when they're ovulating for pete's sake.  Fourth, if a woman wants to abort the child, and the man wants to keep it, then that's too bad for the man.  It's the woman who carries it for nine months, not the man.

"what if you have an abortion and die?"  The risk of dying from childbirth or pregnancy complications is much higher than dying from an abortion.  Provided abortion remains legal.  If abortions are made illegal, then back-alley abortions will begin again, and you WILL have women dying.

Please, learn your facts.

Answer 10

If this was not the law and there was equal choice among the sexes do you you think women would also be more responsible before letting the man sleep with them. It is easier to live with mistakes when you hold most of the cards.

Women used to not be able to vote. Just because something is the law it does not make it right.

Answer 11

That should be a prerequisite to having s*x along with testing for blood-borne pathogens and viruses.  Unfortunately a lot of people are not wiling to sacrifice the thrill and excitement that comes from spontaneity.  You are absolutely right though. Family planning and discussion of consequences nip this problem in the bud before it can rear it's ugly head.

Answer 12

1. Women can lie.

2. Women can change their minds.  Men can too, but can't do a d**n thing about it.

3. If the relationship goes bad, often women will purposely use this to get back at the man.  Don't tell me it doesn't happen.

I'm not a supporter of abortion in very many cases anyway for many other reasons, but it's really not fair.

Answer 13

I think the answer to this would be to give men a get out option too. A responsibility abortion if you like, that way we can't be trapped.

Answer 14

The only problem with your solution is, it calls upon people to act responsibly and maturely. That's why it won't happen...

The whole "abortion/men have no choice" is ridiculous. BIRTH CONTROL WORKS. I have no sympathy for people who CHOOSE not to use it, or be responsible until after the fact...  

Answer 15

You seem to fail to grasp the concept of the complaints.

They are about the *****LACK OF EQUALITY IN THE LAW***** something feminists claim to be concerned about.

I use condoms 100% of the time and do not have s*x with women who do not use some form of BC, It's highly unlikely I'll be knocking anyone up.

Yet the laws are still unfair and of concern to me.

Answer 16

This is a poor argument because women can easily lie and change their mind afterward.  Men have no say when it come to abortion, BUT they're the one that HAVE to pay child support if the woman choose to keep the baby.  That's unfair and unjust...

Women can legally opt out of parenthood, so it really is only fair that men should have the exact same right also.

Answer 17

Yeh it would be nice if things did go like this.

Unfortunatly most people dont seem to have any pride/brain cells.

Answer 18

I think people who are in relationships (however casual) have a responsibility to discuss the possible consequences and how they would take an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. The danger is "friends-with-benefits", one night stands and other s*x outside of traditional relationships, because if you pick someone up and take them home for the night, you are very unlikely to pause and have a sensible adult discussion about abortion/adoption/parenthood.

Of course, what I would say is, if you don't want to have a "situation" of this nature...use a freaking condom, it's not that hard and if you don't, I have little to no sympathy for you - you brought the consequences on yourself, and just because you're too stupid to wrap it up doesn't mean you should be able to have any say over what the equally stupid girl does with her body and the consequences of you both being such complete morons.  

Answer 19

You can discuss it all you want, but in certain cases, birth control fails.  For example many physicians fail to tell their patients that certain antibiotic render the birth control pill useless.  It happened to a friend of mine.  She and her boyfriend were in college and not at all prepared.