Men: can you please share your perspective on a man's jealousy with me?

Question

**I would like for mature men to answer this question seriously please. I am interested in the male perspective and workings of THEIR mind here.**

Okay ... scenario is of a man(my guy friend) who is head over heels infatuated with this woman. He hasn't gotten the nerve to ask her out yet, but he flirts with her real hard, and she flirts back. But he is too scared to ask her out. Even though he hasn't even taken her out yet, he gets very jealous whenever she's talking to another guy. Even if she's not flirting with the other guy, he gets pissed off and just stares at the two of them with his arms crossed over his chest in a huff until their interaction is over. Then he'll make sure to stare at her with a mean look on his face until she sees him. And he does this all the time. Here's where I'm confused:

HOW CAN A MAN GET JEALOUS OVER A WOMAN HE'S NEVER EVEN TAKEN OUT? My mind is boggled, and I'm interested to know what you men out here think is going on in his mind.

Answer 1

A lot of a man's jealousy is instinctual.  Primitive cavemen were jealous in situations involving women they liked, and their modern day descendants are jealous. A man knows an attractive, 'in-demand' woman when he sees one, and he wants her all to himself. This guy that you know needs to conceal his jealously better and not be so demonstrative with a grouchy look on his face.

Answer 2

well......he simply does not have the self confidence to try and get to know her. so when he sees a guy who does have the self confidence to talk to her.....he feels like he is missing out. he feels like he is a wussy for not being the one talking to her.

i think that its all about self confidence. when a man does not have a great deal of self confidence......he tends to become jealous rather easily. when a man is very self confident......he tends to be in good control of his emotions.

Answer 3

I would think that in his mind - he`s had the date already.

He just looks to the future in this.

Any other ' guy ' approaching this lady, is a possible threat to his position - and therefore to be feared, or be jealous about (jealousy being a form of fear).

I`v had something similar - working towards something with a very encouraging lady - and then at one point she told me she met someone - rather than going angry - i cut communications totally - and started looking for someone more worthwhile.

Answer 4

yeah i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that he wants her to be his girl, but for w/e reason he doesnt ask her. he wants her to feel like she's his when he knows he just didnt.

Answer 5

lol wow

Well, thats completely up to each person not to the gender.

I've seen many guys be jealous as h**l, and many woman too.

Personally, I've never been jealous even if my gf tries to make me jealous.

But yeah, that's not only on male since my gf gets jelaous easily.

Feeling of jealously are weird and natural D8, there really isn't another way to know what he is thinking other than talking to him.

Different personality, different way of being jealous.

Just like all feelings, is not about the gender, is the personality.

Answer 6

Oh ho ho I can very much sympathise with your male friend.  When I fancy someone, have a chat and get a good vibe back from her then see this person chatting to another guy I definitely get jealous.  For me this is purely an irrational reaction I can't help it.

I think the reason I get jealous has an awful lot to do with the fact that men think about s*x a disproportionate amount of the time.  Because I know this I automatically vilify the guy in question as a opportunistic b*****d after just one thing.

Also the question of besottedness comes into play.  If I am completely infatuated with a woman generally speaking I will of course get a bit jealous if this is not entirely reciprocal (which in most cases let me tell you it most certainly isn't).  This I know is completely down to my own insecurity, sad but unfortunately, in my case true.

Hmm reading through that I hope that makes a little sense.

I wonder though is this limited to just men, surly women get jealous in the same way?

Answer 7

A man who finds that single rose, and has smelt the beautiful fragrance, but is willing to endure the painful pricks of it's thorns, is unable to accept the thought of another's hand plucking said rose from his grasp. He may be admiring the full moon's glow in the empty stillness of the eve.

Answer 8

Mature men don't get jealous,your guy friend is apparently quite immature.

Jealousy is a control issue and mature men know the only thing they can truly control is themselves.

The immature answer is that he would like to control her behavior and can't ,so he's frustrated .

Even if they had been dating , that does not mean she wouldn't flirt.

MHO