Men during Pregnancy!?

Question

Basically me and my girlfriend are expecting a baby in like 3 months!

I do try and be supportive but i get spoken to like SH*T most of the time.

Yesterday i got told off for not doing the washing up, even though its me who cooks all of the meals in the house and generally keeps things tidy?

When i ask that maybe i could have some help, my girlfriend says shes tired, which is ok. Then when i work late she goes to the chippy to buy chips because she cant be bothered to make any food...because I'm working late!

I haven't got many Friends to talk to really, so all i get morning noon and night is complaints and conversation about the baby. Which i cant wait to have!

I got called selfish because i have found it all overwhelming and needed to share with my girlfriend my concerns...all she says is!

"you've got it easy, you don't have a baby in you" ( in a harsh tone)

To be honest i don't feel like I'm entitled to have feelings because I'm a guy...and a selfish guy at that...My girlfriend wants to be happy... and for me to do things for her...but cuts me down if i have any problems of my own. I thought couples were supposed to work together?

I have tried to think of ways to make more money for us...but she tells me "IT WONT WORK" so now ive lost confidence in myself when i need all the confidence i can get for our baby!

I know many of you will say its the pregnancy talking but to be honest im not so sure if shes the same person who i used to love, when all she does is take me for granted. I have tried to calmly talk to her but she doesnt take any notice

I don't know what to do?

Answer 1

Welcome to knocking your girlfriend up.

You should have a read a few books about pregnancy in the beginning of it or even have talked to the doctor about how her feelings were going to change. This is an EMOTIONAL rollercoaster for women as for their lovers. They are experiencing so many body changes that they want nothing to do with, and hormonal changes that they also want nothing to do with. Your job as the man is to basically stick it out and make sure the pregnancy goes as smooth as possible to avoid stress since it's bad for the baby. Yes, it's a little hectic... but it won't last forever. Maybe she'll experience a little post pardom depression when she first has the babies, but after that, things should be so much better!  

Answer 2

its her hormones mate,trust me ive been through it twice. shes tired,anxcious,exited,scared, all of that 5hit mixed together doesnt bode well. youre her closest pal now,and thats why youre taking the brunt of it all.trust me???????? be a man,rise above it and dont take it personally,when shes eventually in labour,she will lean on you for support,and youll have to step up to the mark my friend,and be her rock??????? like i said ive been there twice,and when its over and youre both relaxed,you will notice the difference in her,that is without having to get up in the wee hours of the morning to a screaming baby that is.

good luck,oh and one favour,dont let anyone in the RTV section know ive answered this,theyll think im going soft???????lmao

Answer 3

I'm not a man, but I do have advice for you. Take a deep breath. You don't want to hear it, but some of it might be hormones, but I think she's using your baby to take advantage of the things you do for her. Keep trying to explain to her how she's putting you down, and how you feel about it. Make sure that she realizes that the baby is as much your as it is hers, which means that you both have to make sacrifices for the good of the baby. She my be tired, but make sure she realizes that those late nights make you tired as well! I'm sure she's still the same girl you fell in love with, just over stressed. She's probably taking out and nerves on herself. Deep breaths, good luck, & I hope I could help! <3 Keep expressing your feelings! Only a kind hearted guy can!

Answer 4

Well, as a man you ARE entitled to have feelings in regards to this pregnancy.  While her feelings and experiences are obviously different from yours, very soon you are going to be the father of a baby that depends on you.  You no longer have the option of sending the child back to its parents (like with nieces and nephews) because you are the parent.  That is a big change that is going to take adjustment.  I am sorry that she seems to be much grumpier now that she is pregnant, but I can bet that at least a portion of it is the hormones.  Whether she admits it or not, she is probably stressed and happy and worried and nervous all in one about this baby too.  The following are some links that might help you.  They give tips and advice for dads during pregnancy.  Good luck and Congratulations (:

pregnancy.about.com/cs/forfathersonly/...

pregnancy.about.com/od/forfathersonly/...

www.webmd.com/baby/features/an-expecta...

www.family4life.com/daddy2be/d2b_pregn...  

Answer 5

it is hard but yes hormones are a factor, i think she probably knows shes doing it but only when its too late. tell her you love her and beautifulfull she is, and when she is in one of her better moods maybe you ask her 2 chat with you, maybe if u both understand how each other are feeling it will become easier.

but hunntalk tlk 2 my bf like that when i have PMT let alone if i was 6months pregnant. anknow I'mo im being a complete cow sometimes.

i think you both may need a brake, wot about a weekend away in a nice quiet hotel, no where flash, just somewhere you can bothrelievedeved from everyday stress?? and give yourselves time to reflect on how great the baby is going to be when he/she arrives.

i wish you and your partner all the best x*x

Answer 6

It could be just pregnant talk but that would just be an excuse. Some pregnancies are easy some aren't. I'm not sure how your girlfriend's pregnancy is going but if she has the energy to bicker then she would be able to help around a bit. It's not like you are asking her to do all the chores herself since at the moment she isn't capable. But a helping hand, even with something small you would have appreciated.

I was different from her. I was calm, full of energy the only thing I complained about was not being able to eat or drink food. My morning sickness wouldn't allow me to and my Husband was such a darling trying his best to give me food and drinks that I could handle. He was considerate as he always is, and I was extra considerate about his feelings. I carry the child but it is both our child so it should be an experience for both to share, work together to make it work for the family sake not cry and moan how terrible one has got it while the other got it so easy. Now that is just lame to me.  

Answer 7

during my last pregnancy I turned into nasty evil b**** from h**l. I once told my husband to 'f**k off and get his own f**king beer' when he asked me to pass him one - from the fridge I was standing in front of getting my own drink! The poor fella was too scared to suggest changing the channel to a football game he really wanted to watch as I was watching yet another Friends re-run... even though I wasn't really watching, as I was reading a book at the same time. He quietly suggested that perhaps I wouldn't mind if he went out to watch the game and he'd come home the minute it finished... I threw the remote control at his head, told him to 'watch the f**king football if it was so important', then ran out and locked myself in the bathroom and cried for 45 minutes. Once i'd had the baby and realised how evil i'd been, I couldn't apologise enough, and I think we're stronger as a couple because of it.

I'd try speaking to her, but soften her up first and choose your words carefully. Run her a nice bath with candles, give her a back rub and cook her a nice meal (or get a takeaway), then explain that you're really trying not to offend or upset her but you feel like you're being pushed away when you really want to be as close to both her and the baby as you can.

Good luck!

Answer 8

wow she is quite bad, it is the hormones but she does need to see that its not just her going through the pregnancy your part of it aswel. Me and my fella av silly arguments becoz i snap at him then i say sorry straight away. You need to sit down with her and talk to her, if you argue you need to say sorry to each other straight away, me and my fella av a 5 minute rule if we anoy eachother we give eachother 5mins apart then say sorry n carry on as normal. It must be hard for you but all i can suggest is talkin to her. Also i would suggest setting an evening aside both of you cook a meal together sit in front of the tele watch a dvd n cuddle up.

good luck xx

Answer 9

Wow, she sounds like a controlling taker who doesn't realize she's not the only person in the world.  I assume she is "high-maintenance".

I sure hope this is just during the pregnancy and she isn't normally like this?  

Answer 10

Couples are post to work together. I am pregnant has well. But I have a boyfriend. But he not with me right now since he taking class for his new job in the marines. I also have two children from my previous relationship. And this baby isn't his either. I do have hard time cleaning and cooking. I get to hot cooking supper for me and the kids in the kitchen. Cleaning I have hard time bending down. Men does get it easy since they don't have to deal carrying a baby inside and so on. But after the baby is born and she well rested she go back to normal with the cooking and cleaning. I don't know much cleaning you do. Right now my house is dirty. I had it cleaned a week ago. I just take my time cleaning. But I am at the point that I would need to pay someone to clean the house. Because I been having pain that I don't know if I get from cleaning the house.

Answer 11

Hey there, sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time at the moment - it sounds like you are getting it in the ear from all angles!  I haven't had a baby yet so I can't say whether it is the hormones or not, although judging from the way that my sisters behaved when they were pregnant it could have a lot to do with it.  I would suggest just keep on trying for now as tough as it is and see how things go bewteen you.  Keep trying to talk to her - you have every right to have feelings and opinions so don't loose touch with yourself through this.  All relationships have their bad times and this is one of yours unfortunately.  It might do you some good to keep in touch with the closer of your friends and have a bit of time out with them to take the stress away from you. Good luck and I hope that things improve. x

Answer 12

Remember that hormones are all over the place during pregnancy, hopefully she'll go back to being the loving partner you know and love soon after birth.

It is difficult in the later stages of pregnancy, it's hot, you feel huge and it's hard to get about, everything is an effort.  This makes you snappier than usual, then add the hormones to that....!

Don't expect it to change immediately after baby is born, that's when the real hard work starts and it is very, very tiring.

Carry on being supportive - make a list of the jobs that need doing such as cooking & washing up then make a rota, if she knows what she has to do during the day she can schedule it in.  Don't give up on her, it is a difficult time.

If she is like this normally, as in before she was pregnant, then it will only get worse I'm afraid, she'll have a hold over you and will use that to her advantage.

P.S. sod the housework, that can wait - it will still be there tomorrow, just do the important things that have to be done and leave the rest.  As long as it's spotless for when baby arrives home then don't worry.

Answer 13

Hiya,

i know things seem really tough at the moment and your gf doesn't seem to be the person that she was a year ago, but PLEASE remember that her hormones are all over the place.

she is exhausted, hot, uncomfortable, and feels like an alien has taken over her body!

She doesn't mean to be snappy, but is just miserable at the moment.

LET her have fish and chips when its her turn to 'make ' a meal..she doesn't have the energy to cook.

You ARE allowed emotions, so try to explain to her how you feels.

I suggest you rent a dvd and have munchies, then when you are snuggled up on the sofa, just tell her that you LOVE her and her lovely pregnant body, but would also love it if she could explain to her how she is feeling, so u can support her.

she will then feel really grateful, and love you to death till the baby is born!

Answer 14

HHHHHmmmmmmmm! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 15

sounds like a rite b**** to me, i would never treat my husband like that. Ive been tired sick and all sorts and i still talk nicely to my partner, make dinner and clean and also have severe pelvic pain. I notice some women like to treat their partners like sh**,i think they enjoy it?? where has the love and respect gone from relationships these days?

Answer 16

Im sorry you are having it so tough but it sounds to me like she is having a rough pregnancy and its not agreeing with her.  Some women have awful mood swings on top of feeling exhausted, ill and uncomfortable.  Unfortunately being pregnant isnt just having a baby in your belly its all the hormonal stuff, discomfort and upset that goes with it.

I am 22wks with my second, my partners first and the first 14 weeks for us were really rough.  I had a bleed for a week, suspected ectopic, felt ill all the time, had exams, and a four year old to look after and my boyfriend really got it in the neck!  I was horrible to him, really snappy and short and over-sensitive.  He couldnt do anything right.  Thing is he couldnt cope with it and he told me so . . .in a not very nice way!  It upset me but i took it to heart and i made an effort to be a bit nicer.

Your girlfriend obviously doesnt know how good she has got it if you do all of the tidying and cooking.  My boyfriend works away on nights most of the week so i keep our house tidy, do all the washing, cleaning, cooking and washing up.  You might want to tell your girlfriend that whilst you understand that she is tired, being pregnant does not make her an invalid and plenty of other women just get on with it.

She is clearly taking you for granted a little (i would love it if my boyfriend ran round after me but at the end of the day he is the one that brings in the money) and needs to realise that but it might be worth just biting your tongue until the baby is born.  She is still the woman you fell in love with but being pregnant does lots of wierd, wonderful and terrifying things to a woman so just cut her a bit of slack for that.  It will all be worth it in the end when you are holding your baby in your arms!