Men who watched your baby's birth: Is your wife less sexually attractive now?

Question

I have spoken with several men who have the same problem: they watched their woman give birth, and struggle with sexual attraction. For many men, his woman's body is beautiful, and her sexuality is very mysterious. Most women look at themselves "down there" and see a v****a, no big deal, its her body part. But her lover looks down there and he doesn't see a "v****a" he sees mystery, beauty, captivation....

watching a birth can completely destroy that mystery....you suddenly see the body part, and no longer do you see the beauty. I regret watching...i wish I hadn't. As beautiful as my child is to me, I dont know how to recapture that magic I felt before when I saw my wife. I love her very much, but the "romantic sexual magic" has been injured. Its not something I can cognitively create. I dont know how to get it back.

I want to hear from other men: when you saw your baby born, and when you saw the raw physical biology of your woman's body parts, did you lose any sexual mystery? I lost nearly all of mine. How do you get it back?

Answer 1

Bless your heart, it must be really frustrating. I know it might sound a bit extreme, but maybe you could see a therapist- s*x is really key in a relationship.

Answer 2

I watched all three my kids birth,been marred almosy 28 years and s*x is great ! But I do love my wife !!!

Answer 3

That was a conversation my husband and I had before our first child was born.  He really wanted to watch the actual birth but I was afraid he would find me less sexually attractive.  He hotly denied that being a possibility,  but in the end, he agreed not to watch.  After all, it's my body and I was uncomfortable by it.  We have FOUR kids now and he never watched the exit.  He just stood by my head, holding my hand and was still able to see the baby as soon as he/she came out.  I think we're both happy we did it that way.  Having a baby is completely natural and nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, but really, so is using the bathroom....I certainly wouldn't let him watch that! =)

Depending on how old your baby is..it may just take time to regain the sexual mystery.  Her v****a will regain it's shape and look normal after just a few months.  That will certainly help.  I'm sorry you're going through this, it must be terrible, but don't expect too much of yourself right now.  Give it time and trust your sexual desire to return, as it should, naturally.

Answer 4

i feel the same way, I think it might just take time. I dunno. But of course it might be age, since I am only 20

Answer 5

i never had that prob. i wasn't happy cuz i had to wait a month after.

Answer 6

My husband said was was for about an hour after I had my baby... but he doesn't think that way anymore. He was dieing to have s*x the week after and I finally gave in like 5 weeks after... I was pretty scared to have s*x again but it's been better than ever! So, no, my husband finds me just as sexually attractive... but then again he probably wouldn't tell me otherwise.  

Answer 7

my husband said no. I couldn't have stopped him from watching. He says that it was the most awesome thing he has ever seen. By the six week mark he was dying for s*x. We have had three and it has never bothered him. After I gave birth to my third he was trying to feel me up. (he's laughing about that behind me.)  

Answer 8

i'm not a guy but i'm answering anyways. it's all in your mind about your wife. birth can be really scary. i mean think about it, how would you feel if you were your wife? The pain of being ripped, the humiliation of everyone getting a look, not very captivating is it? what i'm really getting at though is you may have been traumatized by seeing someone you love being hurt. just remember that although this happened that you have to put it out of your mind. i hope you get over this and seek your wife's opinion as well. she may have problems with sexuality as well too.

Answer 9

LOL My husband was so against watching the birth, but he ended up "down there" and watched the whole thing! Yeah, he was a little traumatized, but that didn't last very long, he was rearing to go as soon as I was able to have s*x again. It's kinda hard not to imagine what the act of s*x brings and represents (birth & reproduction), but you have to understand that that's only a temporary thing! It's not like she's giving birth after each time you have s*x!

Remember tho' that she probably feels less s**y now b/c of what childbirth can do to a woman's body (stretch marks, extra skin, etc.), so your feelings of not wanting her are only making her feel worse! Just b/c 1 child passes thru her v****a, it doesn't mean that it never goes back to normal. I've had 2 kids and my husband has never looked at me different. He knows that I'm self-conscious of my "war wounds" (stretch marks), but he makes me feel beautiful even when I feel awful! She gave her body to bring a precious gift into this world, so you need to seperate the sight of giving birth from the sight of making love to her. Yeah, it's easier said than done, but in time you'll learn to appreciate both acts in 2 different ways!