Mental health breakdown?? please please help

Question

Just wondering.. if you can tell me the symptoms of mental breakdown

I am quite sure that I am having one.. I be ok for a few months then a bit of bad news

Triggers me off and I go into meltdown basically crying and wanting to die

My past would suggest that I do need help- consequently having been through sexual abuse. 2 miscarriages, an eating disorder and the deaths of my cousin and more recently a close friend. I don’t have a close relationship with my mother and my father rejects any chance of a relationship I want with him as he is an alcoholic- don’t get me wrong I drink too much too.. my cousins any time I feel that I confide in them, they go and tell my mum which is basically stabbing me in the back.. a girl I thought I was close to and I could talk to did the same…now that I think about it anyone I am close to does the same thing… in my job where I have been for 5 months.. there is a woman who is quite older than me and I look to her for advice and as a mother figure…she just helps me pick myself up- more with words than actions..

What do you think…does this sound like a breakdown.. at the minute I really feel like I can’t cope and I don’t want to live but am too chicken to try and kill myself…. I have spoken to my doctor before but he shocked me by telling my mother everything that I had told him even though I’m 19- he told her because he is a friend of the family and who am I to try and prove he did this..

Answer 1

Your current position has nothing to do with how you are - It has has to do with how you see things. It is all to do with perception, how you look at things that happen to you.

You have grown up thinking that what someone says or does controls how you feel. This is not true.

It is always the way we see things that make the way it is. You need to change the way you look at things.

For example - If someone lost their job, they can think "it is the end of the world for me". Or they can look at it another way. They can think "what a wonderful opportunity I now have to find a better job, one that I love and more money".

If someone doesn't "like you", you can think "woe is me, I'm very unpopular without any friends". Or you can think "thank you my friend for showing me that I need to love myself more, so that you can love me".

If you want anything, you have to give it away first.

If you want to be loved or liked by others, - you have to like or love others.

If you want friends - you have to give friendship to others.

if you want happiness - you have to give happiness to others.

Do all the above and more for others, and then watch the friendships grow. As this grows, your self confidence will grow, as you see just how clever and nice you are.

Once you can see you are a really nice person, others will see that you are also.

Here is an example for you.

Nick Vujicic, No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo_24_qTN...

The power is in your hands.

peacefromken.

Answer 2

i want to tell you something

life is what you make ,say this to yourself 19 years was spoiled by your mother and different things

if god give you another 19 years dont let it be wasted on crying on the past 19 years

get me ?

love is so hard to get ,you may not get it but my advise to you is one thing

earn money ,*IN GOOD ways*

leave your mother and find a studio to live in ,take resposibilty of you and have faith in yourself

reading expand your horizons so read alot about faith ,life ,novels you may found people like you in this life *there are lots who live worse then you*trust me

Answer 3

Sounds like you have depression, with good reason.  

This is not quite the same as nervous breakdown but feels every bit as bad at the time, and it can be treated.

First thing you need to go and do is change that doctor!  He is seriously in breech of his hypocratic oath - that anything you say to him should be kept within the walls of his office and not divulged to anyone else.  

You could go to the citizens advice bureau about what you can do about this doctor.  Do not worry, they cannot and will not divulge anything to anyone without your written consent.  You may have to hang around a bit.  They are a free service and have a lot of demands of their time, but it will be well worth the wait.  Any correspondence you might receive as a result of what they do can be taken back to them and they will deal with it.  So, if you, at a later date decide to sue this so called friend of the family, you would get every bit of help you need.  They are fantastic.

I have been through all this too, except the miscarriages.  Please, if you need to talk more, and I am sure you do, I will listen and answer without any judgement.

Just e:mail me via the message thingy and I will get back to you.

Hang in there kid.  It will get better, however hard that is to believe right now.

Answer 4

It sounds like you need professional help - and your GP doesn't sound to be professional if he discusses your problems with your mother what does he hope to achieve? Okay so he told your mum everything you told him........how did he react to your problem and what advice did he offer? And what about your mum??? surely if you were my daughter and had these feelings I would be worried sick and upset that you didn't come to me in the first place to talk - but that's a different matter - I suggest to go back to your GP and ask him to help - if not then I would try to get a second opinion from someone else - you can always make an appointment with another GP at the surgery and explain the situation - it sounds like you are suffering from depression but I am no expert so I can't tell you what form and at which stage you are - there are some medications now on the market which are very helpful and they are not addictive nothing like the prozac, etc - these are designed to balance the chemical substance in your brain - that's what causes depression. I strongly suggest you talk to your mum and also find out what your GP has been saying to her, also go and get a second opinion, if you're not happy see someone else again - after all you are the patient not your mother. Good luck and I hope it's nothing too serious.  

Answer 5

Has it occured to you that perhaps these people in your life that keep on telling your mother are concerned for you?  Perhaps they are just trying to help you and don't know how, so they are telling your mother in hopes that she will help you.  On the doctor's behalf, not very professional, but nonetheless as a friend of the family, i can understand all the more why he would be concerned for you.  Good luck

Answer 6

That's too much to deal with on your own. The good thing is, as the kind woman at you work shows, you're not on your own.

You can change your doctor. At 19 you don't need an adult's permission to do that because you are an adult. You don't have to give any reason either. Just do it.

There's a great online support group for people with alcohol (or drug) difficulties

http://www.unhooked.com/index.htm

or you could try AA or Al Anon They are there to help and most have been through similar stuff to you (I have that's for sure.)

You can talk through options  - or just talk - to The Samaritans

http://www.samaritansnh.org/

http://www.samaritans.org/

You'll get through this. I know you haven't been able to trust the people you feel should have been there for you but that's not your fault. There are people who can and want to help.

It's not a breakdown it's a natural response to the amount of horrible things that have happened. You can't change the past and you can't change anyone else's behaviour but luckily you can change YOU! And you've proved you can do that already.

I wish you all the best hun.

Answer 7

you need to go to a phycologist that is NOT a family friend and make sure they dont know u or ur family so u can start on a clean slate...

im sorry you feel this way and if you arent already i would definatly move out of the house.

get away from your hometown and move somewhre else where you dont know anyone and start out new.

forget those people. make a new life and start out fresh! you will like it a lot better but of course dont forget your whole family totally...you will want to know if someone dies or whatever but like just try and not comunicate with them all the time.

you need to quit drinking. this makes things go to ur head way to much and most likley part  of the reason why you are having all the problems. alchohol can get to your brain and damage it.

You NEED TO EAT!! eat healthy its OK if you gain weight, people dont want to see someone who is all pale and all bone and nothing else...thats just disturbing...(if that is what ur eatting problem is)

all i can say is eat healthy and exersize...it helps get your mind off of other things and MOVE!! get another job if you can!

please dont think that you want to die. thats not good for ur self esteem and thats just horrible that you want to do that.  

Answer 8

you will get sympathy from reading your comments.but don't expect from me anyway.

hope you are aggressive,arrogant and in a mood to make the world upside down.

i want to tell a truth ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. its the circumstances which you born and grown. Think you didnt get a true LOVE from anybody even from your parents. and friends are for beniefits.

You are just 19 and lot more to live and experianced.so be cool and try to look the world with love and confidence. FIRST OF ALL avoid all the negative people and if you are a christian go to church atleast once in a week. Surely u will get peace.

my prayer for your peace of mind and live a long life.

Answer 9

after all you have been through congratulate yourself on holding things together for months at a time. you are stronger than you think you are and able to cope on many different levels within your life.

the events that happen may be triggering older feelings of loss of control, the death of cousins and close friend may be bringing similar feelings you had when you sadly miscarried, so not only do you have the hurting of recent events to cope with but also the feelings of loss from further back in your life. have you ever been offered bereavement counselling ?? this may help

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ these people are fab to talk to and may have a source in your area.

http://www.helptoheal.co.uk/bereavement-... the help to heal web site offers good sound advice check it out.

you say you don't have a good relationship with your parents is this something that is very important to you, would it help you to be close to them, do you blame yourself for not being close, some families are not close they never will be no matter how hard someone trys it just won't happen, it takes two to create a meaning full relationship and if this is always one sided with one giving all and the other not it becomes unbalanced and unfullfilling to the giver, this can cause hurt and distress if a balance can never be obtained.

http://www.relate.org.uk/familylife/fami... relate do offer family counselling and you can also attend on your own, check out their web site.

you say you drink too much is this to cope with the life you are in at this moment in time, could you perhaps cut down a little and start to build stratagies that will help you through the darker days without clouding your assessment of events.

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/depr... this site outlines depression and the use of alchol and has links for help with controlling drink related concerns.

you do seem quite a level headed person, amongst all the pain you have been through you are holding down a job and you have trusted a work collegue enough to look to for advce, after all the people you trusted who have broke your generousity of sharing your emotions with them this is a fantastic step for you to have taken, pat on the back for you. the experiences you have had have given you an insight into who to trust and who not to speak to on a personall level, this is a learning experiencial curve and it is up to you what you do with the outcomes, for some they will know not to trust the person again and not discuss personal things with them, for other they will give the benefit of the doubt and keep  hopeing they can trust the said person time and time again. life is like a play we all re enact out scenes daily, events follow patterns and if studied these patterns can be broken. have you ever had an arguement with someone and instintivly known what will happen next, your answer to them is on the tip of your tongue and out without thinking about it, this is becuase patterns are built upon and are conditioned responses to a situation we are in. look at your own life patterns and if you don't like what you see then change them, ust a little at a time, bit by bit, try and clear your head and look at what you have achieved in your life not at what you have not managed to do yet. you have recognised that you are not living the life you are happy with, you have ownership of the tragic events that have taken place, these events are still within the depths of your mind and you are still willing to try and trust others, you are such a fab example of overcoming the c**p that life can deal you, you should be very proud of yourself and not feel guilty about feeling proud. hold your head up. change doctors a new and different thinking doctor may be more willing to help you gain the support you may need and will be more confidentail and ask for a refferal for counselling. counselling is not for everyone it isn't a magic cure for everything but for some it does help.

learn to like yourself and look at all the positive things you are doing in your life. look into adult education the new terms start in September if you feel you can join an assertivness class and confidence building class you would be around others who may not have the confidence to let others know how they feel, and it can be great for empowering the soul. these classes are daunting at the first session but once you know all the people are there for similar reasons it becomes easier.

i wish you the very best of luck and it will be hard asking for help, one step at a time may lead to two steps back but the next time it will mean three forward..... so an extra step on the road to releasing those burried emotions and tourment.

you had the strength to ask the question and you have the strength to sort out a life that you will be happy with, you deserve as much as you want from your life.

Answer 10

I would report the doctor even if its just to the surgery and then I would register with a new doctors in different surgery with no family ties and then I would speak to them about the way you are feeling.  You are young to have gone through what you have been through so its understandable to feel as you are.

I might be wrong here but you say you have had two miscarriage (which is utterly horrendous) but you do not mention a partner - do you sleep around to try and feel loved?  If so please stop and value yourself build relationships and friendships and you will find love, and in the meantime please use contraception because until your feeling better a baby is not answer.

Confide in your friend at work and accept her friendship it doesn't matter if she is older - I have a lot of older friend and their brilliant for advise and to go out with.

The other friends/cousin you talk about seem very immature if you can't confide in them they are not your friends so distance yourself from them and try making new friends.

When I was younger I hated my mum, I moved out and we didn't get on - now she is my best friend so dont give up on your relationship with your mum if your still living at home it is probably the reason your not close - you still see her as an authority over you and therefore not an equal, this will hopefully change when you move out and stand on your own two feet as an adult - again i maybe wrong?

Please don't give up you have been through a lot but you have the rest of your life to look forward to, stay positive and look to the future with excitement and hope x*x

Answer 11

Feelings that you are worthless,that life is so hard you can't see it getting better ever,feeling withdrawn and not wishing to do things that previously had given you a lot of pleasure,waking up in the morning and find it hard to think of a reason to get up,feeling like the world is going on around you and it's too fast for you to join in,when the slightest thing goes wrong it's as if the world is against you and you can't cope

Go to your doctor but don't assume there is a miracle cure

Answer 12

It's very wrong for that doctor to have betrayed your confidence, even if you are 19. With all the different situations in your life, as you pointed out, you have increased risk for emotional problems.

I hope you also know that drinking anything alcoholic is a further depessant. You should seek counseling with a good counselor; if you can't pay, contact your county health department. And please try to stop drinking. Every time you feel the urge to drink, immerse yourself in some activity that helps others (like Habitat for Hummanity or teaching someone to read). You will need to care enough to seek out a right place where you are needed, but you ARE needed.

Don't be around negativity, because as you mentioned, it triggers you. Surround yourself with good friends and happy children. Perhaps you could teach reading at your local library. Reading helps too.If you can have a pet dog, they are very healing.

Do everything you can to make your environment at every moment. And that friend at work sounds like a winner.

Exercise like running releases natural mood elevators into your blood and floods your brain with them. If you can get into exercize, either alone or at your local Y, it will help a lot.

Also, I would find a new doctor!

Good luck to you and remember that your life touches so many others, and you can't imagine in what ways.

  

Answer 13

I feel so bad for you. First thing you must do is change your GP and if you feel like doing so report him to the GMC for misconduct. He has broken the confidentiality rule. If this lady you work with is willing to act as the mother figure you need then let her, we all need someone like that in our lives and for some people it is not the mother that raised them. It sound to me as if everything is catching up with you from your past and it would be beneficial for you to talk this through with a counselor, they will help you work through all your feelings. It seems you have not only been sexually abused but dreadfully let down by your parents and family. You need to speak to an entirely neutral party who will keep your problems private.

You do not need to ask your GP's permission to leave his practice, just take your medical card into another surgery in your area and tell them you want to register, if you don't have your card, don't worry they will help you. Then make an appointment to see the doctor and explain to him exactly how you are feeling.

This doesn't sound like a breakdown but it does sound like depression which is not being helped by drinking. It may or may not be beneficial to you to try a course of anti depressants, but you would need to see a psychiatrist for this. My ex (a New York psychiatrist) would advise using them as a last resort only and trying councelling first. Feelings of hopelessness and sadness are awful and if you feel that there is no way out you must seek help righ away. You are not suicidal as you don't want to die, you want to stop feeling like this and with help and time believe me you can and you will. You are only 19, please please please see the GP now before you get any older.

Answer 14

it sounds like you need some serious help.

i would report your doctor as he can not reveal to any one without your consent any details about you.

in the nicest way i think you need to see a psychiatrist.