Mental help seems to be a luxery. Can anyone help me? Borderline Personality Disorder, Bi-polar, Mental Abuse?

Question

My husband is the only one working right now. He gets just, and I mean JUST enough to cover our needs. If he were to take sick days we wouldn't even have enough.

I'd like both of us to get some psychiatric help. I think he may have Borderline Personality Disorder (http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/bpd_... and it's affecting our relationship.

Additionally I think I may be Bi-polar. Schitzophrenia and Bi-Polar disorder run in my family and I was asked when I was younger if I'd be willing to be diagnosed - at the time I said no. I've come to regret that.

At any rate, I think we need some help. The problem is he can't afford to take any time away from work. I can't get into town unless he's off work because I don't drive. For other medical problems (things like migraines, back pain, etc.) we've found that our hospital is unwilling to deal with patients in the emergency room. We have no family doctor and no one is accepting patients. The local clinic is the only option and most of the doctors have english as a second language and the wait time is a minimum of 1.5 hours. Going to the doctor is so difficult that it causes stress which exasterbates our problems. And IF we were able to get recommended to a group or regular psych appointments we couldn't make it to them unless they HAPPENED to be on one of his days off, hopefully at the same time so we had some time for relaxation together.

So as you can see, we have some hefty problems. We're very much in love, and so no, we don't want to just end our relationship because one or both of us may be ill or even (mentally never physically) abusive. Additionally neither of us has substance problems, so that shuts the door on a lot of programs I do believe. For extra detail in case it helps, we live in Northern BC. We have no family in the province to turn to for help, and those we do have couldn't afford to help us financially.

What I am asking is: Can anyone suggest any help to us?

I'm looking for ideas. I'm also looking for names of social programs, etc. that might be able to help us. I'd also like to know more about requirements/how-to of getting mental disability benefits, because I think honestly that we might need something like that to help us have the time to even deal with these issues. Of course, anything we DO apply for always has a waiting period. We have NO nest-egg or stashed money, we can't afford a waiting period. Are there any programs that cover that kind of thing in the meantime?

Any help would be appreciated. I've been needing this help a long time and I don't know where to turn.

Thanks.

Answer 1

Sounds like things are really tough for you and your husband at the moment.  I'm based UK but have had similar issues personally.  It seems that unless you're ill to the point where you are completely psychotic or suicidal there is very little help around.

It's great that you have such a strong relationship which must give you both strength through these hard times.

Not sure what services are available if you're in USA (?), but in general terms maybe you should both try doing something together like walking which is free, or other exercise thats free (although you have back problems? - maybe swimming then?).  

Maybe even though you love each other you may be reinforcing each other's negative thinking?  I experienced this in a relationship, it was really tough on both of us.

This sounds stupid but try not to become preoccupied with "what's wrong with me?" type of thinking, it compounds how you're already feeling and doesn't help.  We all experience low moments like these.  In my opinion the best medicine is making concerted efforts to have fun, good diet and sleep, staying hydrated, and exercising, and having personal goals or activities that fulfill you: art, music, social activities, sport.

I've researched a lot of support type programs and counselling.  I know it may be expensive but I'd recommend Human Givens Therapy:  its a relatively new form of therapy that is focused on helping you move forward positively rather than focusing on the negativity of your past problems.  If you can find the book of the same title (Human Givens Therapy) try reading it, and other books by same authors - one I think called "How to Lift Depression", by Ivan Tyrrell and Joe Griffin.

Wish you both all the best

Answer 2

Don't know if any of these are useful but have a look, it may be useful to contact them and from there you never know what they may be able to do for you or point you in the right direction.  I found them by searching Yahoo with: british columbia mental health.  There's many more links to have a browse through.

http://www.healthservices.gov.bc.ca/socs...

http://www.bcmhas.ca/default.htm

http://www.gov.bc.ca/health/