Mike Hampton scheduled to start Saturday 7/26... what will go wrong?

Question

What disability or disaster will keep Hampton from climbing the mound this time?

Strained pinky?

Meteor shower?

Slips in the shower?

Slips in the meteor shower?

DHS closes the ballpark to check out a fake threat?

Flat tire makes him late?

Slops a whole gallon of gatorade on his uni pants, and there's no replacements?

I honestly do hope the Hampton farce ends tomorrow and he pitches, even if he sucks out there. But he's become such a bad penny of destiny, it just seems inevitable that SOMETHING will get in his way.

What's gonna happen?

Answer 1

he will throw a perfect game but pitching more than 100 pitches in a game he will need tommy john surgery.

Answer 2

With all of the injuries he has had, I wouldnt doubt for a second that SOMETHING will happen to hurt him either before or during the game.  It seems inevitable for him.  He is caught in the "Griffey Zone", where no baseball player may ever stay healthy!

Answer 3

He'll trip on the pitching rubber and break his left ear, forcing himself to have to miss a start.

Can you even break an ear?

Answer 4

Traffic before the game on his way to the park.

Tries to run there and hits a parking meter while flicking off Phillies fan.

Answer 5

wen he is throw his first pitch

BAM

he straighns his oblique

Answer 6

Hmmm.... I'll go with he actaully starts the game but lands funny after he throws a pitch in the 3rd inning, injuriny his hampstring. Then Bobby Cox comes out and in his anger punches him in the face, breaking Hampton's nose. This forces Hampton to be taken out of the game. As he limps off the field, the trainers supporting his weight accidentlly let go because of his heavy wieght. When he hits the ground he falls on his pitching arm and breaks it. These injuries force him to miss the rest of the season.

Answer 7

Chokes on his toothpaste as he was brushing his teeth and he gets rushed to the hospital.

I say that because none of his injuries are like baseball related.

Answer 8

I think "soreness" will get him taken out of the game in the first 2 innings. Then a hangnail will force him to miss a start and he'll blow out his rotator cuff prepping for his next start after that.

Thats how I'd want it to go if I were collecting millions of dollars sitting on the couch and the team had the nerve to expect some play out of me.

Answer 9

He's going to slip on the pitching rubber dislocating his ankle.

Answer 10

his uniform is gonna missing ........

cant pitch without a uni

Answer 11

I saw this happen in a high school game and I've got a feeling it might happen to Hampton.  On the way out to the mound to take his warm up pitches before the first inning, he'll trip over his own two feet and break his arm.

Answer 12

Close a door on his pitching fingers after slamming it out of frustration after slipping in the shower and falling on the floor after an attempt to regain balance fails.

Answer 13

C'mon now! This is Carl Pavano's twin brother, separated at birth, have a little faith!

I predict that he decides to go spluncking, upsets and anger sa bat, gets bit and has to be treated at the local hospital for the possibility of rabies. Hopefully he won't be foaming at the mouth on the mound.

Answer 14

Do you remember when Juan Gonzalez returned with the Indians in 2005 and injured his hamstring while running to first base after his very first at-bat? Well, I think we're about to see the pitching equivalent of that. Mark Mulder managed to record one out before leaving the game in his first start this season, so we'll see if Hampton can beat that (probably not).

Answer 15

You know the sandbag thing that people toss around...then a little comes out of it and goes into his eyes so he cant see well....

OR

It is his first pitch and he says "wait i forgot to get hurt" and then on a fly ball to RF he runs for it AS HARD AS HE CAN and strains his hammy!

Haha good question!

REAL STORY: I predict a rough outing but he will probably get to start