Military Wives with Infants & deployed hubbies?

Question

When your husband deployed while your baby was still 0-12 months, how did you handle everything? I'm pregnant right now with my first at 5 1/2 months and he will be leaving in March '09. I am very very very scared and sad right now that I will be a "single" parent. It doesn't help that these hormones make me worse during these moments I feel.

Answer 1

When you marry a military man, you have to realize that his job is #1 and you are #2.  You get to be the mom, the dad, the maid, the driver, and everything else.  I know someone that just went through 15 months of separation.  Her husband came home 6 months into the deployment and she got pregnant again.  Her first was 3.  When her husband got home, she had 23 days to go until her due date, but he was there for the birth of the baby.  Be around people that you love and that love you.  Have a good support system.  He will be able to call you all the time, and that helps.  Get a web cam for your computer and you will be able to talk to him face to face.  Hormones don't help with your feelings right now, and they aren't going to help later, either.  I wish you all the luck in the world.

Answer 2

you're not alone. there are other military wives out there suffering like you are right now. be brave, you'll survive as others did. while he's gone, keep busy, make friends, that's how everyone got through it.

Answer 3

First of all....enjoy the time that you have with your husband now. While it's important to be realistic about the deployment coming up and him being gone while your child is still a baby, try not to taint your time together now by being sad. I know...easier said than done. You say you are 5 1/2 months pregnant now, which means you will have your baby in November. So...your hubby will be there for the birth. And, you will have 4 months together to enjoy your baby. I am assuming that he is going on a 12 month tour. Right now....I have a 6 month old baby girl, and a 6 year old son from a previous relationship. My husband deployed when I was 5 months pregnant. He came home after being gone for 4 months for the birth....and was home for just under 3 weeks. So....he left to go back when our daughter was just about 2 1/2 weeks old. He is on a 15 month tour, so he won't be home for another 4 1/2 months. That means our daughter will be almost 11 months old when he comes home. I was a single mother with my first born for 5 years before meeting my husband. So...in a way I had and "advantage" because I was used to being a single parent. That didn't make the thought of doing it alone the second time around any easier though! So..here is my advice. Aside from the usual, take lots of pictures, find family and friends for support, etc. etc.....I would say just keep your chin up, focus on your baby to make the time pass (and trust me...time FLIES when you are focused on your baby and all of his/her milestones and watching him/her grow. They get so big so fast), and let your baby look at pictures of her/his daddy, and when he calls put the phone up to the baby's ear so he can hear his voice, and your husband may even get to hear some baby babbles. And, as I am sure you know, this is really hard for your husband too. My husband has told me several times that he would give anything to trade places with  me. When my daughter was about 2 months old...I remember talking to my husband and telling him how I was exhausted because I had just put the baby down for longer than 10 minutes for the first time in like 13 hours. He said, I would give anything to be able to hold her for 13 hours straight. I don't know how social you are, but if you are social, doing the mommy group thing might help. If you aren't social, you might be better off just making sure you do something just for you every once in awhile. In a nutshell...while it is hard, it really isn't that hard either. You can do it. And you will be a stronger parent and wife for it. I hope all of this babbling helped you at least a little bit. I wish you and your family the best of luck! Everything will turn out great.