Military wives do military men get posted away from their families for more than 2 years?

Question

The reason I ask is that my husband and I cannot agree..he wants to go to Australia to work for a couple of years maybe 3...he wants us to go too but I don't want to uproot my children. How do military wives cope? He would be managing a gold mine...it is very good money but we would only see him at weekends...so I think I might be just as well staying in the UK with my family...we would see him maybe twice a year....how do you cope if your husband works away?

Answer 1

if you don't want to uproot your children, then i would stay in the US. my husband deployed for 18months to iraq, and you'll be in constant contact with him, more than i was... there's webcams now..so he can see them, AND you'll be able to see him on weekends!!!... i think thats such a cake walk. i didn't see me husband but once in 18 months and i lived on barely no phone calls...

and honey, if i can do that, survive while knowing he's driving over IEDS, you can surely stay where you'er at with your kids right where they want to be, where you want to be, making money and still loving your husband. :)

Answer 2

Bring your kids to OZ, because if you don't they will hate you when they're older for staying in the UK and this is from personal experience!  

Answer 3

Hi. I am married to an Army Officer and have accompanied him on several foreign postings. We are generally never expected to live apart from our husbands for any more than 6 months although there are exceptions to that and American wives have to endure longer Operational Tours than we do.

My advice would be that as the time period he is likely to be away from home is vague, but it is likely to be a long time, expect your marriage to come under extreme pressure if you don't go but possibly also if you do. I don't think you can equate this to how Army wives manage because our husbands have no choice and we are supported by the Army. The readjustment for Army wives when their husbands return home after even six months nevertheless is HUGE, and we effectively become single parents in our husband's absence. It takes children quite a time to readjust to having Dad around. I cannot begin to imagine what it would do to our children if my husband disappeared for an unspecified period and then only came home twice a year.

The problem with Aus. is that it is SO far away from home. When we lived in Washington at least we could get back to our children (who were at boarding school) on the same day, and they could fly out regularly and we all knew that we were there for a specified amount of time. We didn't disrupt their education, but had it been a longer Tour we would have taken them with us. In your circumstance where you don't HAVE to go, I would fall over myself to persuade my husband not to go. No amount of money is going to make up for a fractured marriage and children forced to live without their father. What if you go to Aus. and loathe it but he loves it and wants to stay forever? How will you cope with being without your parents and siblings? You may of course all love it, but having lived all over the World I am always desperate to come home to England's moderate climate, and all those I love.

I honestly don't think your husband has thought this through and I wish you luck with whatever choice you make.

Answer 4

I would go to Australia with him!!! Think of the opportunities you will have there that are NOT in the UK!

I don't think it's healthy only seeing each other twice a year. Could you and your children really cope with that situation?

Australia has lots of opportunities for you all and far more than the UK can offer. The UK seems to be going down hill with increased crime, increasing fuel and food costs etc.

The schools in Oz are fantastic as are the homes.

I would go to Oz and be together as a family.

You can visit the UK to see rest of family when you can.

.........................................

I think you are right to be cautious BUT are worrying too much. At the age of 7 they will be fine and will probably enjoy the Aussie schools. Take them and let them experience another way of life. The only problem you may encounter is not wanting to return to the UK!  Kids are very resilient and will be fine. The benefits definately outweigh the negatives. Also how happy would you and your children be being separated 11000 miles from your husband for 2-3 years????

My kids hated being apart from their Father when he was in kosovo for 6 months.

I say get a bottle of Aussie wine today and celebrate with your Hubby saying you are all going!

I'm a nurse and am thinking of emigrating down under! x

Answer 5

You need to know this.

Military men put the Army before their families. Always.

Sorry.

Answer 6

You are worrying too much. Really you are. At that age children are really easy. I changed schools due to circumstances 4 times before the age of 7 and it made me really independent and able to look after myself.

By moving across the world you are giving your children opportunities they never knew existed.

Go it may be so good you'd want to stay Oz is really cool

Answer 7

Try watching Army wives  :)

Answer 8

Moving your children makes it hard for them with thier friends but the more they move the easier it gets for them,, Being able to explore different countries and cultures will give them a step ahead of those that don't get this chance. Plus the majority of the schools on military posts are above standard and rated pretty high   So your children will learn more   Enjoy your travels and the oppertunity to travel ,explore and learn    

Answer 9

Never heard of such a case, but I know about yearly deployments or being stationed overseas for a 3 year tour WITHOUT their family.  That's VERY rough stuff, i wouldn't know how to cope really....if you love n trust him you can work through anything, and i'm pretty sure he can get convalescent visits...just lots of communication and stay really busy.  Good luck on that decision.

Answer 10

i think it would be good to go live in Australia.experiences other cultures. Some people are lucky to go to different countries,do you know how many people would trade places to go and travel. I'm a military spouse and I was born into a military family and I LOVED it.I loved traveling and meeting new people and experiencing other clotures. It makes it easier for your kids to say good byes when they get older.Just think about it.Don't go regretting 30 years from now wishing that you should of taken that chance!

EDIT:I moved 3 times in 1 year.I was 6yrs old when we got stationed to Maryland and then to California for 6 months and then to V.A.I went to 3 different schools that year. The only bad thing about that was when we left Maryland the school in California was ahead of there teachings than it was in Maryland and then when we went to VA the school teaching there was very behind. maybe both of you can sit down with your kids and talk about it, see if they would like it.

Answer 11

You are turning down Australia.

The warm weather, the great schooling.

The range of wonderful locations.

Your kids will cope having a period of time in Australia.

You will cope to, you can get a part time job and spend heaps of time on the beach and enjoying family time.