Mind over Heart With My Mare?

Question

For the past 2 years I have ridden a mare named Dutchess at my barn. She has given me the confidence to do things I never would have done without her. We have competed done lessons and just had fun together. Honestly she is my best friend. She is just the greatest horse alive! But for a while my dream has been to go on to bigger things, bigger shows, and I can't get there on her. She is now getting a little slow for me and we are having trouble keeping up with the competition. I keep telling myself that it is just me but.....i don't know. It breaks my heart yesterday I was sick to my stomach at the thought of leaving her. My dad says I am just a girl and I am over emotional. I have having a heart over mind war! I love her so much! I would ride both her and the big jumper (java) but if I leave and start riding java instead my instructer will give her to somebody else. :( please help. Before she was all mine and I don't want to leave her.

Answer 1

dont leave her cheer up all u have to do is feed her better and train her better

Answer 2

You need to think about yourself as a rider. What do you want to do? Do you want to stay at that level, or do you want to become better?

   I'm sure that if your trainer does sell her, that you can still go visit her!  And she can send pictures through email.

         And maybe you can recruit some people to ride at your barn, who can ride her so she's still there!

   I think that you should just try to move on. It'll help make things easier later in life too.

Answer 3

You have a choice, you can either stay with the mare you love, or you can move up and do bigger things. If you want to stay at your current level, you can keep riding her, but if you want to move up, ride a different horse, sometimes it's just a part of life to give up horses we love.

Answer 4

You need to figure out why you ride horses. Are you riding to win competitions or are you riding to enjoy yourself? Answer that and you'll answer the question above. Everyone needs that first horse to give them confidence and skill. If you want to go onto bigger and better things though, wouldn't it be good to know that you let her teach someone else and learn what you have on her? If you just want to have fun then stay on her, but if you want to seriously win then move up! She'll be fine with another girl...and think of how lucky that next girl would be. Hope that helps!

Answer 5

This is a scenario you'll face many times as you get older.

Would you still be able to see her?  Give her treats and such?  Maybe get permission to take her for a leisurely spin every so often?  

A horse like Dutchess has a special talent...teaching people to ride, to not be fearful, to gain confidence.  Maybe her time as your teacher has passed, and it's time to share her with the next new rider.

But I would advise you this...keep track of her.  Some day many years from now you may wonder what happened to your favorite, first horse.  If you stay in touch if she were to be sold, you may be the one to step in 15 years from now and provide a loving retirement to this great horse.