Miscarriage - my due date is coming up. Any ideas on how to spend it?

Question

I had a miscarriage 7 months ago and my due date it coming up. Unfortunately, my boyfriend has to work that night. We're both off during that day though. Anyone have any special ideas on how we can spend it? It's something I've been dealing with for some time, and I want that day to special; like a way we can mark that day as a special occasion but at the same time, it to be a day where we can look forward to the future. Thank you.

Answer 1

This may sound harsh, but I've had two misscarriages and if was and early misscarraige , like 1st trimester, the best thing to do is let it go and move on, because the What If's will drive you crazy for the rest of your life.

I was just trying to help.

Answer 2

Plant a tree or flower in honor of your baby.  Then you can visit that same tree/flower every year at this time.

You could also make a donation to a charity in honor of your baby?.....

I'm sorry for your loss.  I've been through one miscarriage.  Hang in there.

Answer 3

Personally I would let it go.  The more you remind yourself of what you lost, the more it will hurt.    People don't celebrate the anniversary of a relative dying with a special event, so why celebrate this?  

Move on.  Stop living in a painful past.   The future is a bright place!

Answer 4

You could plant a tree or flowers.  Take pictures and put them in your scrapbook.

You could make scrapbook pages about what you wanted for this baby, or about what you've learned from your loss.

You could write a story from your baby's perspective to any future children you may have - a way of letting them know about this baby and memorializing him/her.

You could pick out songs and poems that are meaningful to you and have a memorial service of sorts.

Buy a statuary or ornament in memory of your baby and place it somewhere in your home or yard.

"Our Stories of Miscarriage" has many good recommendations for memorials.  I'm sure Amazon has it.

Do whatever you feel comfortable with, but try to take pictures.  It helps to normalize and heal the pain.

Answer 5

This may sound wierd but every year on or near the day I lost my daughter (Stillborn) I go to an animal shelter and choose a dog. One that is going to be put down that day, or very soon, and is in bad shape (and there are a lot) so I know that no one would adopt him or her. I take it to the Vet and I do everything I can to make it healthy. (once there was nothing I could do bc of parvo but I tried) Then once it is fat and healthy and loved by me, I find it a new loving home.

It hurts, letting the animal go, but I just think that I just saved that dog and it makes letting my little girl go a little easier.

Answer 6

Sorry for your loss.

Maybe plant a tree?  Get a tattoo in memory of the baby?  How about a necklace or bracelet in memory?

ETA:  Gosh, you people can be insensitive!!  Obviously, you've never had a loss before.  If she feels like she needs to do something on that day, she should!