Misplaced Wedding Gifts/Cards - What's the etiquette?

Question

After my wife and I went through all of our wedding gifts, we found we had received something from all but 10 guests, one of which I specifically remember handing me a card at the end of my wedding night. Now, don't get me wrong, we in no way expected everyone to give gifts, and if some or all of those 10 people did not give gifts, that is perfectly okay with us.

My issue is that I suspect that some, if not all of the 10 people, may have been part of a bag of wedding cards that was misplaced on my wedding night. If these people in fact did give us gifts, I feel terrible knowing I may have lost them. Is there any sort of etiquette to approaching the subject with these particular guests?

If any of them gave us a check, they will eventually see that the check did not get cashed, and then what? It's just a terribly awkward situation and my wife and I have no clue what to do!

Answer 1

we actually had a problem where my mother got distracted when we were opening cards and gifts and didnt write who gave us how much cash...and we received like all cash not checks

so we had compiled the cash in our pockets as we opened it, to be cute, and so we'd have it for the honeymoon on us....and we didnt know who gave cash and how much!

so what we did was we sent a thank you card to everyone that we werent sure about (so say all 10 of your guests that you're not sure on) and we thanked them for being at the wedding and helping make our day special

that way it was kind of a catch all thank you and they didnt feel left out

Answer 2

I say write a generic thank-you note to all of them so that neither they nor you are embarrased (they by it being pointed out they didn't give a gift if they didn't and you by not thanking someone for a gift if they did give one).  There is no point in telling these people that their gift, if there was one, was lost.  They are under no obligation to replace it, and it will be awkward for them and you (it will be awkward whether they gave a gift or not).  However, if someone says to you that their check hasn't been cashed, then you can tell that person that a few cards seem to have gotten lost, and theirs was one.  They will likley rewrite a check to you.

Answer 3

Maybe go up to one of the 10 people (to the one your most comfortable and closest with) and say, "I hope you enjoyed coming to the wedding as much as I enjoyed having you there."

This will open the conversation up about your wedding...then they'll say something like, "Yeah, it was great, we loved the food, etc...blah blah blah." Let them talk all they liked, or disliked. Then say, "Oh, you know what? I just remembered that we couldn't find that bag of cards...do you know what happened to it?"

Remember to be really sweet and nice about it, that will show them that you are concerned but not pushy or greedy. They will then say something like, "What? Really? You didn't get X or Y? What about my check?" If they say, "I have no clue", then you might just have to go up to the other 9 people. If none of them know, then perhaps there is really no way to find out what happened to your gifts.

Whoever gave you the gifts will have to contact you if they notice their check didn't get cashed. I don't think it's appropriate to ask them if they wrote a check. Hope that helps!

Answer 4

Best Wishes!!!!!! Go forth and multiply!!!!!!! :)

Simply give everybody your Thank You Card.  Telling them that you're very happy that they've attended your wedding. No need for you to mention about the check.  Most probably, you have misplaced it.

Again, BEST WISHES!!!!!!! GOD BLESS :)

Answer 5

Wow, this is an awkward situation!  So there's a bag of cards missing somewhere?  I presume you've already had everyone go through all of their stuff to check for the missing cards.  It's a bit strange that some but not all of them went missing, almost seems like they got shoved into a box or one of your other gifts.  In case you haven't make sure to open up each and every gift again to see if they were somehow combined.

As far as how to handle the thank you notes, you have a couple of options.  First it depends on the people; if you know they gave you a card (and I would check with everyone in the bridal party to see if they took a card from any of the 10 people) and you are close with them, you should just tell them that whoever was in charge of the cards misplaced some of them.  If you aren't close with them, then just go ahead and send a generic thank you note for sharing in your special day.

I write checks most of the time, and frankly, I don't really notice if a check doesn't get cashed.  If you are close enough with the people, I think there is no harm in mentioning the mix up to them, because they may never notice if a check wasn't cashed.  Also, I take it you didn't keep copies of all of the checks that you received to compare in case some of the 10 ended up in that bunch?  If you did, that would certainly be an option.

I'm sure misplacing some cards is more common than not, so don't stress too much about this mishap.  The worst case scenario is that some of these people write you a new check!