Mixed feelings and fuzzy decisions

Question

I am 32 divorced settled but with no family what so ever I live alone...I have had five miscarriages during the 4 years long marriage,that ended in 2004 .... ....after 3 years of being alone, I have met this guy whom I am in unstable relationship now....

he is self supporting father, he has 19 years old teenage son, and he doesnt want kids. he is also 15 years older than me.

I have mixed feelings about him, our relationship and myself since he says he doesnt want kids, ...

I dont even know if I want kids at all... how would I know if I wanted them or not... and how could I know if I could have one if I dont try again... but time is ticking... however, I always believed that I am not able to raise a child with out a significant other

Answer 1

If you know you want a child and he isn't going to change his mind, I would say it's time to break it off. You will never be happy in a relationship when you have to compromise something as important in your life as a child.  

Answer 2

if he doesnt want a kid dont have it with him

but with time running out dont

get desperate as well

you could always adopt theres alot of kids who need parents

Answer 3

If you care about this man and see potential..then be happy.

If you are unsure of him because he doesn't want any more children, then I would recommend seeing a ob/gyn and discuss your chances before you make your decision.  What I mean is, I would hate for you to end a good relationship in hopes of finding the right one to have a family with only to find out that your success rate could be low.  I am not trying to be harsh, just realistic since your history shows 5 miscarriages.

Were they ever able to determine why you were miscarrying?

And are you ready to possibly go through the same disappointment and pain as before?

As for knowing if you want them or not...that is something only you can decide.  Take a soul searching day and think hard about these things.

Good luck

Answer 4

If you want the option to have children then this guy isn't "the one" for you.  I suspect that you already know that but are afraid to move on because you might not meet anyone else.

But you will- don't settle for Mr. Right Now because you can have Mr. Right...

Keep looking.

Date others besides this guy since it is an unstable relationship anyway.