Modern love and divorce ?

Question

do you think that literature and the arts have portrayed love to be a passionate, impetuous feeling?

so many people ask things like ' she doesn't like me, what do i do?'

why do people feel they should change who they are for a partner?

why do people expect love to be a fairtytale?

can't it be a mutual subtle feeling, does it always have to be grand?

do you think the way we portray love in popular culture is responsible for the divorce rates?

i mean there are billions of people in the world, how can people believe in a soul mate?

Answer 1

Ok I will go statement by statement.

1. Love isn't passionate by itself, the passion comes from the sexual feelings you have for that person. You can be in love with your life partner and still have no want to have s*x with them. That is however your choice to make with them. For the majority of people who do find TRUE love, it has sexual feelings. TRUE love is just like your best friend you would take a bullet for, but for people with sexual feelings for them, well they also want to have s*x with them (which most people wouldn't do with their best friend.

2. When you are in TRUE love, and they don't like you back, your world is a spiral of confusing, pain and deep care. Every little thing you say or hear has a huge impact on what happens in the situation... or so you think. Most likely it won't have near as big of an effect as you think it will, but everything is so blown out of proportion by your mind, that you really feel like you don't even want to move for fear of s******g everything up. So a lot of people look to others, ANYONE who can help them out. Unforunataly, only those who are in TRUE love can help you, and most of them think you aren't really in love. I KNOW this form personal experience.

3. This one is easy. When you are in TRUE love, you want to be the perfect person for THEM. In TRUE love, it is NOT about you, it is ALL about how you can make them happy. That is why you would take a bullet to make them happy. Well, you would also do anything else to meet their needs and wants.

4. TRUE love is like in the fairytales, it is just that most people have s*x first, before they are in TRUE love. Having s*x gives you a lot of simulated feelings that you get when you are in true love. YET you are NOT really in love. That is why people end up "falling out of love". Truthfully, unless they change and become abusive or something, you can't fall out of love. They truly WILL always have a place in your heart.

5. Dude, TRUE love is NOT, I repeat, NOOOOT subtle. Now you are however right about the mutuality of it. TRUE love is ALWAYS grand. BUT ofr it to mutual you have to be IN love with that person. In other words, the mutuality comes in IF they feel TRUE love for you.

6.YEEEEEEEEEES!!! The way we portray love in the media is DEFINITALY responsible for how we portray love. It is GRAND like they show us it is, however the media also shows us that it heavily relies on sexual attraction. Like I already said, Love is separate form sexual attraction. Love can effect how good s*x is, but TRUE love can not be affected by how bad s*x is. TRUST me I am in love at the moment. (since she doesn't feel the same way I am in the limbo described earlier)

7. I ALSO agree that people shouldn't believe in soul mates. While that whole thing may be true, YOU still have to go and find them. VERY few people do though. Think about it for a second. EVERYONE IS different, so your soul mate may well be in a different country. You never know if you don't travel though do you? You very well may be perfect for somebody you never know existed because you didn't happen upon them. So well it may be true that we all have soul mates, VERY few people find them. Who knows your soul mate might even be the person who took your order at McDonalds today, but you will never know because maybe your first impression of them turned you off to them entirely.

Now I HOPE you do know the difference between TRUE love, and what most people think of as love (what you described). It is a difference that most people don't understand, so they rush into things thinking that they are truly in love. Then UP goes the divorce rate. :)

Thanks for reading this all the way through if you really did. I appriciate it because I didn't type this ALL for nothing.

Answer 2

Nothing about the love my husband and I share is "subtle".  We do believe that we are soul mates...there is no one for me, but him, and him for me.  I think the divorce rates are what they are b/c people marry to fast, and give up too easily.  My husband and I have BOTH changed, but that is what happens when you are married and in love...you grow with one another.  

Answer 3

Well if a person says "she doesn't like me, what do i do?" Wouldn't that be a person who DOESN'T believe in soulmates as a soulmate would be one who DOES like you and that you BOTH share a mutual feeling towards each other?

Billions of people in the world is very true..but very few that have a genuine connection to you.. and i mean someone who has to :

1. be your age or around an acceptable one

2. be someone you're attracted to and the feelin is mutual

3. be someone you connect with..like a best friend

4. be AVAILABLE to you to see, notice, and talk to.

Given those odds among other, it cuts that whole billions of people down quite a bit, especially when there are SO many WRONG people that get in the way, be it the *ssholes, the ones who don't like you, the tricksters that ACT like they like you only for their own personal gain whatever it may be....users, and then of course your own foolish lusts when you chase for something that you know you shouldn't i.e.  Girls chase after the confident guy with the gorgeous face, chiseled abs and fat paycheck....or the thug with the dangerous life and thrilling control. Or the guy that chases after the big booty/breasted girl with the stunning features, or the wild girl that loves to party and have a good time.

The world of convenience will always look for the grandest means to love.  Why settle for the 'average' person that makes you just happy when you can get the 'great' person that excites you and satisfies your selfish fantasy's......only to find it lasts so long when reality wakes you up....and then they divorce.

Literature and arts ....at least those done in the past....even the 'chick flick' of today do kind of exaggerate the whole concept of love into this fairtytale....they only present the 'temporary' love that happens in dating or just show the basics of how 'deep' love can be...but they lack the extra details like the communication, devotion, loyalty, openness, and the hard work through the roughest times of love that are pertinent to a relationship.

But actually yea the way we portray love today DOES hold responsible for SOME of the divorce rates...the whole 'live for today, or live for the best and be happy....don't let old religious laws and/or morals hold you back from what you deserve" gets people thinking that "hey, he/she gets on my nerves..i don't have to take this cause i need to live for what makes me happy....i want a divorce." Such is the world of convenience though :/.